Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
31
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Now, If You Didn’t Notice, You’re Obese…”
“Now, if you didn’t notice, you’re obese. You should have tried to lose the weight before getting pregnant, but since you didn’t, you should lose weight now. All of *MY* girls end up weighing at least 15 pounds less and looking much better.” – OB to large sized mother.
There are 38 comments to this post.
Jen @Plus Size Birth had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 6:38 pm (Quote)
Encouraging weight loss during pregnancy, even if it happens for a lot of plus size women, isn’t healthy nor helpful.
[Reply]
LiLi had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 7:14 pm (Quote)
Ok so I was overweight and I think it did cause the three weeks (glad I didn’t have to endure anymore than that) of bedrest before I had my son. If my doc had told me this I probably would have commented back something like, “Well gee thanks captain obvious! Us “obese” women can usually look in the mirror and tell we could stand to lose a little so buzz off!” Then I would feel much better! : )
[Reply]
Teri had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 7:28 pm (Quote)
I hate the word obese and I hate the way doctors act when you’re overweight. Every problem I’ve ever had doctors blame on my weight. I have joint issues that actually get worse when I lose weight but my doctors kept insisting its my weight. I was told I couldn’t have children and when I got pregnant the doctor said it was because I’d lost 4 stone that year. Either they’re once again using my weight as a 1 answer fits all or when they told me I couldn’t EVER have children they meant I wouldn’t be able to have children unless I lost weight which I would apparently never do.
Because in case you didn’t know all larger women are lazy and stupid.
[Reply]
Kristin Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 8:13 pm (Quote)
Apparently they also think you have a very poor memory. Since they keep changing their stories and keep expecting you to buy it.
[Reply]
Mama Wrench Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 8:25 pm (Quote)
Neither; they just can’t understand that “fat” is a size, not a diagnosis. If you’re fat you’re immediately “overweight” whether you’re healthy or not. My running partner is fat — BMI of 32 or so — and she can outrun me any day of the week (I have a BMI of 18.9), she’s a vegan and doesn’t smoke or drink. Of course none of that matters because she’s “overweight” so any medical problem is her own damn fault.
She’s probably going to get kicked out of the Navy next year thanks to new regulations regarding PT testing. Pisses me off to no end.
[Reply]
Brige Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 9:26 am (Quote)
they actually loosend the regs… unless they are going back… but yeah… the “waist measurement” is awful… and really… I’d rather a Heftier, but healthy person schlep my battered husband out of harms way, than a skinny wirey guy who can barely do a pushup….
[Reply]
Mama Wrench Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 9:30 am (Quote)
The new regs are that if you fail at measurements, you fail the PT test — no more waivers for outstanding scores. So you can run the 1.5 in 10 minutes, do 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups and still fail if you fail taping. They’re also doing away with “bad-day waivers” that allow people to retake the test if, say, a woman being taped is carrying water weight. Also if you fail 2 in a row you can’t reenlist unless you pass the next 3, and if you fail 3 it’s an automatic discharge.
I don’t know about other services but the Navy is definitely focusing on PT and PTS as the main ways to thin the numbers.
[Reply]
Grrrrrrrrrr…
Yes, because the “problem” with “overweight” people is that they don’t realize they’re “overweight.” If only someone would tell me I could stand to lose forty pounds, man! That would fix EVERYTHING!
Idiots. How about focusing on HEALTH rather than WEIGHT?
[Reply]
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 8:42 pm (Quote)
“Holy moley, Dr. Obvious! I never realized I was fat! Thank you so much for showing me the light!”
[Reply]
This bothers me, too, for reasons most of you have named. My BFF (really, we have been friends for almost 40 years) is obese, and her terrible ‘female’ and ‘digestive’ symptoms (frequent gushing periods, frequent diarrhea) were pushed aside for several years simply as ‘you are fat–nothing else is wrong, get over it.’ A savvy u/s tech finally found a football sized tumor on her ovary–the source of all her pain and problems. Thank heavens it was benign. Oh, and why had no one else seen it? ‘You’re fat, that’s why we never saw it.’ REALLY? Sheesh.
I particularly hate the ‘my girls’ comment. Blech. I’m not your girl. I am a professional middle-aged woman (even 10 years ago when DS was born) who is an equal partner in my health care–you, the MD, are the subject matter expert; I am the expert of my own aches, pains, and symptoms.
[Reply]
Kiki Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 1:15 pm (Quote)
This happens way too often to be safe. I wonder how many “obese” people have died because serious problems were ignored because they were simply fat, disgusting lazy and stupid???? There was a lady on discovery health who was obese and having the same problems as your friend. One doctor actually told her he could not examine her because she was too fat and he did not want to look at her and that losing weight would “fix” her. She never went back to an ob-gyn again inspite of the problems she was having. One day, on a flight, the uterine tumors that went undiagnosed ruptured and she almost bled to death before they could get her off the plane.
[Reply]
Dee Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 2:33 pm (Quote)
Oh, no! That is so sad. I also wonder how often this happens–scary. I am overweight, and I have to admit my obese friend has much better ‘numbers’ than I do (BP, cholesterol, etc.), not to mention beautiful hair and skin–stuff I really have to work on. 
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 5:20 am (Quote)
This happens all over medicine. A lazy practitioner will latch onto the easiest diagnosis s/he can find in nine minutes, and they’ll blame everything on it. I’ve heard similar complaints about depression. Can’t sleep? It’s your depression. Back pain? Your depression is making you tense. Black mucus gushing from your ears? You’re probably depressed again, aren’t you?
I discovered this when I was trying to get a diagnosis for my son (later diagnosed on the autism spectrum) and three practitioners in a row focused exclusively on the death of his sister when my son was three years old. I could NOT get them to look at his symptoms and behavior because they said “It’s just a grief reaction” (he was five, six, seven at the time) and they would NOT listen to the fact that these behaviors had shown up two years before his sister’s death.
When did we get a diagnosis? When I started omitting his sister from the story. When they asked if there were any upheavals in our family at any point in time, I started saying, “No.”
Again, defensive medicine, only the patients have to be the ones on the defensive. 
It stinks.
[Reply]
jaed Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 10:33 am (Quote)
Unfortunately, there’s no way to hide one’s weight or BMI in order to get a diagnosis other than “yer fat”, a treatment plan other than “stop eating”, and polite treatment in general.
[Reply]
SculptorAlison Reply:
January 16th, 2012 at 4:45 pm (Quote)
I was treated that way because of ‘depression.’ My joint pain? Depression. My debilitating fatigue? Depression. No, the “depression” couldn’t have been caused by the hormone imbalances and food intolerances that turned out to be the cause of the other symptoms…facepalm.
[Reply]
Kiki Reply:
January 17th, 2012 at 9:49 pm (Quote)
I know none of you will be surprised by this horror story
http://fathealth.wordpress.com/
[Reply]
When will medical science catch up with common sense??? You can be overweight and healthy. Just because you have extra pounds -according to the weight charts – does not mean you are not healthy. It also does not mean you are going to die while skinny people live forever. We will all die. The grim reaper does not discriminate.
And if fat is the only thing ever wrong with people, why do I see so many skinny people at the doctor’s office and hospitals????
[Reply]
When I went to my midwife to have my birth control implant removed, she made a comment about how I’d be seeing her soon. I said I wanted to lose a little weight first. She looked at me and said “Why? You are healthy.” I was 235lbs at the time. Guess what, I was pregnant within two months and have had a wonderful healthy pregnancy. Who cares that I am a bit overweight? I have eaten healthy, walked regularly, and all of my numbers have been good (blood pressure, blood sugar, etc.).
[Reply]
Telula Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 11:17 pm (Quote)
This is encouraging for me. My normal weight was 185 lbs (I’m 5’8) and then I went through Chemo and gained 50 lbs in 6 months and have had a hard time getting it off. I hope my midwife is as awesome as yours is when I start having children.
[Reply]
Oh, I’m sorry doc, I forgot. I’m wearing my ‘heavy’ body, usually I wear the anorexic one in to doctor appointments, but it needed to be steam cleaned.
Yet another office which needs to be flooded with little traditional fertility figurines! Unless the number on the scale is less than 100 or more than 400 the likelihood that it has anything to do with your ‘health’ is pretty low.
[Reply]
UGH,
My GRANDMOTHER said something like this to me yesterday. I have lost almost 10+ lbs to hyper emesis and she’s all “THAT”S GOOD”
Mind you i’m on the high end of “overweight”. My midwives dont’ have a problem w/ my weight, they have suggested i only gain 20 because I have joint issues (bursitis) that flare up horrifically when i’m pregnant and heavy so they don’t want me in pain when I cant’ take meds for it! But all of their patients, even the really heavy ones are counseled to GAIN weight, not lose GAIN.
[Reply]
The Well-Rounded Mama had this to say,
Jan 4, 2012 @ 11:35 am (Quote)
I hate hate HATE how many doctors are telling women to deliberately lose weight during pregnancy.
Their own research shows that gestational weight loss increases the risk for SGA and prematurity in all but the very very heaviest women, and even then a coincidental loss is not the same as telling women to deliberately restrict in order to get wt loss during pregnancy. We don’t know that it’s benign at all, let alone beneficial. And who is doing long-term follow up on these babies that are being exposed to caloric restriction in utero? Who knows what kind of issues we’re producing later?
I have NO problem with emphasizing healthy foods and more movement in pregnancy. If practicing good habits leads to a smaller gain, OK. But I DO have a problem with telling women to restrict food and calories in order to have a very minimal gain or loss during pregnancy, as if that is more important than the nutrition. Gah!
Focus on reasonable habits and the woman’s body will gain an amount that’s appropriate for it.
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
Previous Post
« “I’m Known As *Mr. Soft Touch* Around Here…” Next Post
“…We’ll Do You A Lovely Cesarean.” »
« “I’m Known As *Mr. Soft Touch* Around Here…” Next Post
“…We’ll Do You A Lovely Cesarean.” »
Nggggah!!!
1) Talking down to the mother in a patronizing tone.
Making appearance into a medical condition
2) Telling her what she SHOULD have done but with no evidence to back it up and no reason
3) GIving her HORRIBLE advice to lose weight during pregnancy, which evidence doesn’t back up
4) Calling her a “girl”
5) Comparing her to all other women in the practice
6) Saying that the women who select this practice are in the ownership of said doctor
7) Implying that losing fifteen pounds = looking better (on ALL the women who select this practice, even the skinny ones)
Did I miss anything?
[Reply]
Cara Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 6:37 pm Cara(Quote)
Being a douche nozzle. You missed being a douche nozzle.
[Reply]
Mama Wrench Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 6:38 pm Mama Wrench(Quote)
The implication that she’s unaware of her size, weight and medical condition — as though our society doesn’t send out a hundred messages a day that if you’re fat you’re seconds away from a heart attack, a stroke, cancer, and a diabetic coma.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 6:47 pm Jane(Quote)
I figured that was covered in “talking down to her,” but you’re right, it should have been more specific. Unless the doctor lives in an area where the dominant population doesn’t own mirrors for religious reasons, the whole preface was unnecessarily snide.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 6:45 pm Jane(Quote)
APparently if you do 8 followed by ) it comes out as a smiley face with sunglasses. I didn’t mean to imply this doctor was in any way cool. :-b
[Reply]
buggrit_1979 Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 9:22 pm buggrit_1979(Quote)
The implication that 15 lbs is the difference between a “hottie” and a disgusting flubbery whale that’s unsafe to have kids?
[Reply]
Kiki Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 1:26 pm Kiki(Quote)
This makes me think that the real implication is the overwhelming shock that some sucker was desperate enough to touch a tub-o-lard in the first place to get me pregnant and now that I amm I must be the defective humpback whale that you presume me to be, incapable of carrying out the completely natural process of carrying and birthing a normal healthy child and not a three piece and a biscuit that is bound to shoot out instead. Sorry……bad memories……
[Reply]
jaed Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 3:44 pm jaed(Quote)
Ugh. I’m sorry… I know what it’s like to have someone put those ugly messages into your brain where you can’t get away from them. *hugs*
[Reply]
Dee Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 9:51 am Dee(Quote)
Awesome, as always, Jane!
[Reply]