Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
31
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“I’m Known As *Mr. Soft Touch* Around Here…”
“I’m known as “Mr. Soft Touch” around here. No one ever complains about my exams! Everyone wants me to examine their vagina.” – OB to mother.
There are 38 comments to this post.
Um… Well, it’s good that this doctor has supposedly mastered the art of a gentle VE. It is an art and an important one for midwives and all those in the OB related field. But I’m thinking it’s not something I’d announce quite like that! A little creepy!
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I think maybe only his nurses have claimed he has “magic hands”. His patients probably find him really creepy.
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I remember when I was no more than 15 (and still a virgin, no bf, no health issues) my stepmonster wanted me to go to her doc for a pap and pelvic. She went on and on about his soft touch. I wasn’t concerned about it hurting, I just felt it was unnecessary, under the circumstances. Now that I think about it, this was the same woman who was convinced that I’d been molested because I don’t remember everything that’s happened to me since birth. I felt the same way as other commenters on this post. Creepy and thanks but no thanks.
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Tee Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 8:56 pm (Quote)
~Disclaimer: This is a very sensitive subject for me since I’ve been raped by an GYN.~
What in the hell was your stepmother thinking?! There is NO REASON WHATSOEVER for a 15 year old girl to see a GYN unless she is sexually active or having “female” problems. I am so very sorry that you were bullied that, Sarah.
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buggrit_1979 Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 9:13 pm (Quote)
Actually, it’s generally a very good thing to get a young woman used to seeing an OB-GYN well before adulthood; with the exception of circumstances such as you went through, making OB-GYN appointments a “routine” thing rather than a thing you’d go through only under unusual circumstances can thwart issues later down the line, and young women won’t think of those appointments as something they are supposed to do unless they’re trained they should. Starting regular appointments with a gynecologist early will help take away the fear of having someone fiddle with your ladyparts.
I am sorry for what you have gone through, though.
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Tee Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 9:43 pm (Quote)
I appreciate your kind words but I just can’t agree. Unless a woman is sexually active, I don’t see a need for them to be examined by a GYN. (Again, unless there is cause.) It can wait until they are a young adult.
I know people vary in their opinions on this one and I will always respect someone else for their own opinion but I just can’t agree.
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J_holmes88 Reply:
January 2nd, 2012 at 6:07 pm (Quote)
I agree, I didn’t get a pelvic or a pap until I was 20 years old, only went then because I was getting married and wanted birth control. I know that yearly exams are important and needed after becoming sexually active even without going to get them from a young age. I would never tell someone to do that at a young age “just because”. Even having a very gentle female Dr. preform the exam I felt majorly violated afterward.
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TTC Lurker Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 3:19 am (Quote)
Pap tests have a risk of a false positive (not sure what %), which can lead to more invasive tests, which have a risk of scarring the cervix. So it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it for someone with no risk factors (young virgin, no family history of cancer at a young age, no unusual symptoms).
Also, I have always gotten paps and VEs from my general practitioner, until this year when I started seeing an OB/GYN for menstrual problems. They have been very good about reminding me to schedule them at the recommended intervals. I didn’t need to be “trained” to do anything.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 5:57 am (Quote)
Same here. Up till I joined the Navy I saw a nurse practitioner for everything, including pelvic check-ups. I liked that a lot more than seeing an OB.
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Toni Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 6:13 am (Quote)
Sorry, you lost me at “women need to be trained to go to the doctor”. Is this, by any chance, a troll? If not, the current recommendation is in line with what Tee has to say: you go when you start being sexually active, or by age 21, whichever comes first. Women are not dogs that need to be “trained”. Sorry, that’s just sick.
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Nicci P Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 8:30 am (Quote)
^^ This ^^
Seriously, congratulations on managing to sound even creepier than “Mr. Soft Touch”
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Brige Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 9:30 am (Quote)
Yeah… Pap and Pelvic here at 12… will never forgive my mother for subjecting me to that… and will never ever feel the same way about OBs again… the OB barely spoke english, didn’t explain anything that was going on… it was awful and traumatic… i left in hysterics, feeling violated and humiliated…
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Details Reply:
January 3rd, 2012 at 7:01 am (Quote)
A 15 year old virgin or a 12 year old virgin with no medical complains has no reason to go to an OB or have a pap by the family doc. No reason what-so-ever. Sexually active or 18-21. Not 15 and certainly not 12! Mothers and step-mothers who say otherwise are cracked, and OB’s who say otherwise obviously don’t understand their place in the world. Nobody needs to be trained!
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Sarah Reply:
January 1st, 2012 at 10:38 am (Quote)
Thank you for that. It was a long time ago and I stood my ground and never went to see her doctor. I understand buggrit’s argument (not sure how much I agree, but I do understand it) but it wasn’t my stepmother’s place to push something like that. I barely knew her and my dad prior to moving in with them the year before.
As to what she was thinking, I think she was trying to find proof that I had been sexually abused. She eventually persuaded my dad to have me hospitalized to help me “remember” it. I was stubborn, but I can understand how a child can be persuaded to “remember” things that never happened.
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buggrit_1979 had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 9:07 pm (Quote)
If it wasn’t for “Everyone wants me to examine their vagina”…
It’s always nice when a doc lets you know they will be gentle, and are, in fact, known for gentleness. This guy was a teensy bit weird about it, though. 
And “weird” is the one thing I don’t want near my ladybits.
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Laura--The Sushi Snob had this to say,
Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:28 pm (Quote)
Well, if he does give gentle VEs, then he has mastered a skill that so many have not, and other healthcare providers should take lessons from him. But bragging about it like that? Um….creepy!
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Ewwww! That is beyond creepy!
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