Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
27
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Well, That’s Just A Matter Of Opinion.”
“Well, that’s just a matter of opinion.” – OB to home birth after cesarean candidate when the mother stated that her doctor supported her having a home birth.
There are 10 comments to this post.
This one is mine. I was at 41 weeks, 2 days, and since I would have to be transferred to an ob if I reached 42 weeks, I was sent to do a NST. I went to my clinic so I could get a referral to the hospital to get it done the same day. Not much was said by clinic, I could tell they probably wanted to me get admitted as I was already in labor (barely, small contractions, I was still talking, etc.), but they were really good about not saying anything negative and sent me on my way.
I get to the hospital. Baby checks out fine, I kept telling the nurse to let me up because I’ve had back problems my entire pregnancy and couldn’t stand lying down for more than 5-10 minutes. She said she wanted me to wait because the ob on call wanted to talk to me. I got up, and waited, I almost left, but she finally came.
She told me that because I was already in labor, that if I hadn’t had a midwife she would have admitted me right then and started the pitocin. I told her calmly that I was a vbac, and wouldn’t accept pitocin anyway. Then my 12 year old daughter (who acted as my mini-doula) went off. Really Went Off. She told her “my momma’s having a HOME BIRTH…” and I don’t know what else. She went OFF. Shocked me.
I calmly told the doctor, thank you, I don’t need to hear her negativity, my body is working fine, and my regular doctor was on board with my home birth anyway. That’s when she came out with this gem. “Well, that’s a matter of opinion.” ???? So, I should listen to her “opinion” over the opinion of the doctor I’ve had since I was pregnant with my 1st daughter 12 years ago???
I said, “Ok, I’m going to go home. I appreciate your skill in being a doctor, and if I am in need of them, I will transfer to the hospital and hopefully receive good care.” Then I left.
13 hours later, I gave birth to my second daughter, 2 lbs heavier than my 1st child (section). I did actually transfer to the hospital after being at 8 cm for two hours. The midwife thought they’d just section me, but I told her I wanted a LIGHT epi (which I got even though I was told it wasn’t possible) so I could rest, relax my body to open up the rest of the way, and push the baby out. Which I did. Ob on call was different, thank goodness, and adjusted the baby’s head as I pushed. That was the most painful part of the whole labor and delivery. The nurse that helped was a long time friend of the midwife, and I did get good care. I was also able to advocate for myself, which I think I did pretty darn good considering I was in transition. At one point, the ob (who I found out later was the most section-friendly ob I could have gotten), told the nurses to leave me alone and do what I was doing how and when I wanted!
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Renai, I understand that you were uncomfortable in this situation.
I don’t understand the point of this post, though. The OB was correct: she had an opinion, your PCP had an opinion, and the two opinions were different. So what?
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jaed Reply:
December 28th, 2011 at 11:41 am (Quote)
In context, I read the OB’s comment as a put-down of the OP’s own doctor, a statement to the effect that “I, who just met you five minutes ago and have already shown that I’m prone to dubious medical decisions [pitting a mother who's already in labor? buh?], am more to be trusted than your PCP who has known you for years. Your PCP’s support is ‘only a matter of opinion’ and should therefore be disregarded – and I am not going to pay any attention to it because I Am Superior. So there.”
Someone who says “That’s just a matter of opinion” is almost always reacting defensively to disagreement. It may be literally true – the PCP’s support was based on his or her professional opinion of what was best for this patient – but it isn’t neutral.
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Details Reply:
December 29th, 2011 at 5:29 pm (Quote)
Gotta agree with jaed. except to point out the fact that pit for a woman “lready” in labor is not so much of a problem as pit for a VBAC. You NEVER NEVER NEVER pit a VBAC – It greatly increases the chances of rupture and death. I wouldn’t take the opinion of an OB who wanted to use pit on a VBAC over the milkman. I who sooner let Renai’s 12 year old deliver a VBAC than let this OB anywhere near me ever again! Renai, I hope your daughter grows up to be a midwife! Congratulations on your birth!
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Renai Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 10:56 am (Quote)
Lol! We talked about my daughter catching the baby! I think she surprised herself in how involved she was at the birth. She even “shook my apples” at the precise moment I needed it, even though she told me many times she wouldn’t do that! She was there with me the whole time. I had to send her to bed at about 2am. And she still came running when she heard me say I was “done.” She was like, “is the baby coming now?!” She knew the sign. I don’t think she wants to be a midwife though. I’ve asked her. She still wants to be a ballet dancer, lol!
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Renai Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 10:50 am (Quote)
Hi R.W., the only uncomfortable feelings I was having was due to labor. The doctor didn’t really phase me. It was, though a defensive remark on her part though. I didn’t put everything, but here’s the body language: I tell her my ob was fine with me having a home birth (after this on-call one tries to say it’s not ok and I should be pitted). There is a surprised pause- she blinks in surprise, eyes look to the side, eyebrows furrow. It’s as though she can’t believe another doctor would approve of a vbac home birth with midwives (even though even the state seems to think it’s ok too). Then she comes out with this gem. There is medical evidence saying vbac is ok, home birth is ok, I have a back-up, but her comment suggests that only her “opinion” matters. It was one of those, what??? moments.
It does belong here. It was a sort of power play.
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Yes, doc, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Doesn’t mean I have to listen to yours.
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