Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
26
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Don’t Worry, Soon You’ll Get To Have The Sucky -Out Machine.”
“Don’t worry, soon you’ll get to have the sucky-out machine!” – OB to couple waiting for an emergency D&C
There are 27 comments to this post.
Uh, doc, mommy is not a widdle baby what needs eensy words, k?
She is a grown, mature woman who deserves to be spoken to in clinically correct terminology. Thank you.
(And being all excited about using the ‘sucky-out’ machine on a mom who is suffering the loss of her baby gives us a glimpse into your sick mind. Thanks for the preview.)
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There are so many things wrong with this one submission that I don’t even know where to begin! Let’s state the obvious… there is NO excuse for having such a crappy bedside manner to someone that has experienced a loss. (Assuming that was the reason for the D&C.)
Now let’s go beyond the obvious. “The sucky out machine?!” Seriously? Unless you are talking to a child, use proper terminology. Thanks.
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Sarah Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 7:52 pm (Quote)
A little further beyond the obvious, doc is talking like it is a risk free procedure, which it most certainly is not. Perforated uterus, anyone? While it may be a rare complication, it’s enough that I would want any doc who is about to do one to take it seriously. And it’s the reason I refused when the ER doc wanted to do an automatic D&C after my second m/c.
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Bekah Reply:
December 27th, 2011 at 5:35 am (Quote)
I don’t even talk to my kids in terms like that. I give them the real name and explain what it does. I think it makes them feel like I actually care about making sure they are informed. I would be highly offended if an adult talked to me like this.
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Wow, thanks everyone for your kind and sympathetic comments! To this day, this is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me – I still feel sick recalling it. And it was a very young female OB who made the comment to me after my husband and I waited a harrowing 24 hours in emergency for me to have a D&C after the loss of our first baby at almost 12 weeks. I was exhausted, in pain and very emotional and this OB made the comment to me, as if I was a toddler! I let out a howl of outrage and despair – I was beside myself. If my husband wasn’t there to comfort me, I think I may have lost my mind. Happily, our story ends well – three months later we were pregnant again, and just had a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Thanks for listening 
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Tee Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 9:10 pm (Quote)
Oh, man… I can’t even begin to find the words to tell you how angry this story makes me and how very sorry I am. Congratulations on your daughter!
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Dec 26, 2011 @ 8:35 pm (Quote)
WHATEVER the reason for a d&c — miscarriage, abortion, whatever — it is never okay to use casual work banter around patients. Yes, I understand that medicine has a certain degree of gallows humor to get you through the day when you see death and loss all the time. Your patients don’t. Have some respect.
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Nicole had this to say,
Dec 26, 2011 @ 9:35 pm (Quote)
Thanks Tee. Appreciate your kindness. It’s incomprehensible that a woman would say that to another, I think… I was just scared about getting the same OB at our birth – I think I would have run out of there! Thankfully, we got a great one.
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Tee Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 10:21 pm (Quote)
It really is incomprehensible, yes! This would be bad enough coming from a male OB but coming from a female makes it so much worse somehow. (At least in my opinion!) Glad you didn’t have to find out how fast you could run while in labor! ::grins::
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Nicole had this to say,
Dec 27, 2011 @ 1:40 am (Quote)
Thanks Heather. It’s been really cathartic to share this. Silly, really, that it still upsets me. I wonder how many other women get told similar?
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Jane Reply:
December 27th, 2011 at 5:24 am (Quote)
It would be perfectly fine to write a letter to the doctor telling her that her words were the worst and most horrible part of the experience. You could contrast her actions to some of the actions of good doctors who helped moms through their losses.
If you get no response from her, then a letter to the hospital and the manager of her practice. Because if she won’t watch what she says, there are other people who have the authority to make her watch it. As you said, other women must be getting told similar. You could help them. (And if she’s since realized it’s a stupid thing to say, you may get a handwritten apology from her.)
Again, I’m sorry for your loss.
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Kathryn Reply:
December 27th, 2011 at 3:35 pm (Quote)
And it is certainly NOT SILLY to “still” be upset by it…and it won’t be silly even years down the road. This is a horrible thing for a person to say to a mother experiencing a loss, and I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly. Congratulations on the birth of your little girl, though!
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Sheva Reply:
December 27th, 2011 at 4:00 pm (Quote)
It is not silly to still be upset. It’s normal. I still hurt from things that were done to me over 10 years ago. No one has a right to treat you that way, ever.
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Malina Reply:
December 27th, 2011 at 6:00 pm (Quote)
It is not silly. I still feel some pain from things that were said to me when I miscarried almost 8 years ago. Time has lessened the grief of the loss, but the way I was treated still makes me angry and hurts. What was said to you is horrifying. To put that image into your head is heartless and horrible. I am so sorry. (((hugs)))
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Seriously… “the sucky-out machine” WTF?
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