Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
25
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Well, You Think You Are In Charge Until I Say Otherwise.”
“Well, you think you are in charge until I say otherwise!” – OB to mother in labor.
There are 15 comments to this post.
I don’t even think this is necessarily just a doctor problem anymore. I can’t speak for any other part of the world, but in my corner of it, people seem to think they own pregnant women just because they have a baby in them. They feel like they can restrict and control her choices based solely on her condition.
So if a doctor already has this mentality and is in this semi-authority position being her provider, it seems to just turn into a power trip. 
[Reply]
prgrsvmama26 had this to say,
Dec 25, 2011 @ 8:53 pm (Quote)
I am the poster. The back story is that this was the births of my fourth and fifth child. My second set of twins. I had planned a homebirth and expected to go to term as I had with my first set of twins, but this time I went into preterm labor and ended up at the hospital at 31.5 weeks gestation with a doctor I had never met before. He looked very young and I even said to the nurse that they had given me Doogie Howser MD and she told me he was just one month out of residency. Well I had been a childbirth educator, doula and home birth midwife’s assistant for many years when this birth happened. I knew exactly what I did and didn’t want for my preemie babies’ birth. I refused mag sulfate because of how it would affect me mentally. Refused to birth in an OR. Refused a lot of things. This doctor did not know how to handle a very knowledgeable and informed mama with any grace. After his first vaginal exam I told him he needed to work on his vaginal manners (made all the nurses laugh). He was truly upset by the time he said this. So upset that he literally did not catch either twin. Both fell out onto the bed (which thankfully I had refused to allow him to break down!!!!) He was so embarrassed that after the NICU team took over and I refused suturing of my tiny 1st degree tear, he walked out and never came back to see me postpartum even though they allowed me four days in the hospital since my babies were not going home right away. I have dozen more stories about this birth. Nurses and residents who said crazy stuff. One of our babies died and no one seemed to be able to remember that each time they came in my room even with the giant leaf with the tear they posted on the door…Birth practices are just so insane in our country. It is why I am in school to become a midwife. So I can make sure mamas are treated with compassion and respect for their intelligence.
[Reply]
prgrsvmama26 had this to say,
Dec 25, 2011 @ 8:58 pm (Quote)
After a two month NICU stay with my surviving baby where I had to continually fight for my right to Kangaroo Care and breastfeed and so many things big and small I did send a letter to the head nurse manager, head of OB and head of NICU and administration about my experience. A lactation consultant I became friendly with told me that they formed a committee to revise their policies towards parents and I did have later clients in that NICU and OB dept. where were better treated. I hope that by following up, I made a difference for other women.
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Aron Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 6:48 am (Quote)
Bravo for you standing up for yourself and your children! I know you made a huge difference for women who follow after you, and for your own future clients. I am so sorry for the awful treatment you received and that no one there appears to have stood up as advocates on your behalf. I am also so sorry for the loss of one of your children. Thank you for being willing to speak up for other moms even in the midst of such grief. You are a hero.
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Kat Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 7:48 am (Quote)
I know how hard it is to survive after the loss of a child, let alone fight the system. Thank you for being a hero to others who came after you. I am so deeply sad that you didn’t get to take both your babies home with you. May you feel loved and comforted even as you miss your child through the holidays.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 26th, 2011 at 9:53 am (Quote)
I totally agree — you are a HERO! Thank you so much for your strength and fortitude, and for the wonderful thing you did in paving the way for those who came after you!;l
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Add Your Comment.
I hate this attitude. There’s a patient’s bill of rights in the hospital. There isn’t a “doctor’s bill of rights.” That’s because the patient has the right to informed refusal.
Yes, the doctor can lie to a judge, but in a regular power play, the mother has the power and the doctor ought to play.
It’s too bad so many doctors resort to bullying and harassment when they can’t back up their recommendations with facts, research or evidence.
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