Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
21
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“What The Hell Is Wrong With You, Man?”
“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” – OB to father who declined to cut the umbilical cord after birth.
There are 24 comments to this post.
When husbands want to be involved, they’re told to stay out of it. When they don’t want to do something, they’re mocked. You can’t win.
Possible answer:
Nothing, ‘man’. What’s wrong with you that you think cussing in a professional setting at a client is OK?
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The idiot OB that delivered my son did this to my husband. It wasn’t in quite such a ‘mean’ way, but he pretty much just kept hounding him until he did it. I kept saying he doesn’t want to! It made me mad. But he was horrible all the way around. My hatred of him is making me think about counseling… it’s that bad.
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I was hoping the father yelled at the OB, but I was wrong. My hubby wanted to cut the first time, and second time I had in my plan for them to ask if he wants to cut the cord, and he did but later said didn’t care to. I don’t know about most men, but my hubby always likes looking at how the baby crowns or right before and during.
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My husband didn’t want to because he was afraid it would hurt the baby or me somehow. I told him it wouldn’t just for his information, but it was 100% his decision and I didn’t mind. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. That’s a decision that should be made as a family, and doctors really ought to keep their judgmental mouths shut.
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wow,i’d have yelled at the doc myself if they said something like that to my dh AND ruined those first moments after birthing my baby! my dh was not given the choice when my first was born, the doc just shoved the scissors in his hand and said, “cut here.” dh did it, but he gagged the whole time. he was SO grossed out and didn’t want to, but he was kind of in shock, so he didn’t think to protest. he was deployed when i had my 2nd, so he didn’t have to worry about it. i’m 14 weeks along w/ #3 and he’s already said he doesn’t want to cut the cord. i’m totally ok w/ that – i’m happy just to have him there. he isn’t good for much in labor except standing there and letting me crush his hand, but i’ll take whatever i can get b/c i know how difficult it is for him to be in there w/ me. he doesn’t do well w/ blood or seeing me in pain or anything like that. just to BE there is huge for him.
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If someone said this to my husband I would have gone completely postal. My husband doesn’t cut the cord, he did the first few times only because it was expected. When he finally ‘fessed up that he really didn’t want to do it, I, of course, told him it was fine not to. Our culture has elevated cutting the cord to some sort of ‘must’ for fathers. For dads that it has some meaning to, then by all means cut it, but for dads who are a little queasy about it, there is *nothing wrong* with letting someone else cut it. Since dh prefers not to, my mom has cut it, two doulas have cut it and my doctor. The docs/midwives may have been a little surprised but never rude. Not cutting the cord doesn’t mean my husband loves the baby any less or any such drivel. He just doesn’t like to do it but would if I wanted him to but I don’t see the point in forcing him to do something that he is uncomfortable doing all for the sake of others expectations.
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Ashley Bean Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 9:47 am (Quote)
If I had heard him, I would have. My mom was the one who heard it and she offered to cut the cord since she knew my husband didn’t want to. This OB was a huge asshole and was demeaning the whole time I was there. I posted the pink link below.
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Ashley Bean had this to say,
Dec 21, 2011 @ 9:43 am (Quote)
this is mine and my husband was already ill from not eating the whole 33 hrs I was in labor, plus this was our first and the first baby he had seen born. He was scared since we were in the hospital and I was hooked up to everything and they were threatening a c section JUST because I was in labor “too long”, even though I was progressing and the baby was ok. It was very stressful with us both having to fight all the nurses and the asshole of a dr who was on call, so he really didn’t feel good at all. He knew before the birth that he didn’t want to cut the cord and we put it in our birth plan. I was told later by the only nice nurse I had that when she handed him the birth plan, he didn’t even look at it and just threw it away. It was this asshole who made me switch to the birth center for the birth of our second son only 10 days ago. My husband and I enjoyed his water birth sooo much better than our first son’s hospital birth. I was so relieved to find out that military dependents do NOT have to go to the military hospital =]
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Ashley Bean Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 9:51 am (Quote)
Oh and btw, my husband did cut the cord for our second son after it quit pulsating. He felt more comfortable at Brennan’s birth though and the midwife was encouraging, so he did it. If it wasn’t for the fact that I wasn’t letting him move (he was behind me supporting my back in the birth tub) then he would have caught him. Once I started pushing though, there was no way he was getting out of my “death grip”. lol.
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Jane Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 1:08 pm (Quote)
Congratulations on your second birth, and I’m sorry you were mistreated so badly by the hospital during your first birth. 
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Ashley Bean Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 5:07 pm (Quote)
Thank you Jane =] It was definitely the birth I wanted. Its ironic that he came out in a worse position (posterior) and was a lot heavier than my first, but yet I had an easier labor and delivery with him than my first. My first was a small guy in perfect position yet I tore across both labias and tore my cervix. With my second, no tears of any kind and I felt 100% back to normal by day 3. Amazing what a supportive birth team and calm atmosphere can do for you. =]
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Diana Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 2:33 pm (Quote)
That’s crazy! Our hospital copied our birth plan and made two copies. They gave us back ours, put one in my folder, and sent another one to the doctor. I’m so grateful for my experience. I’m sorry people didn’t follow your wishes.
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ourlittlefamily Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 2:58 pm (Quote)
What hospital did you go to Diana?? Im curious, most my friends had terrible hospital births. Going in with a birth plan and getting the shaft. the “Uniform” birth. not everyoen is the same or wants the same things but where I live (upstate NY) Everyone gets treated the same. =( I will be going else where as a result.
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Debra Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 3:39 pm (Quote)
One of the two hospitals in my town gives the treatment you got, the other gives the treatment Diana got. Unfortunately, most people don’t know there’s a difference and don’t think to ask. Practicing Catholics here usually go to the Catholic hospital (in this case the bad one) even if their friends tell them they’ll get better treatment at the other one.
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Diana Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 4:14 pm (Quote)
I live in Ga and had my baby at Southern Regional. I have a GREAT OB office. I also had my very supportive sister, mother, and husband there with me the entire time. I don’t for certain if so because of the hospital but I believe it was a combination of all these things. HTH. 
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My husband is completely grossed out by that stuff. Our first was a preemie so I think the doctors cut it, I don’t remember, but I cut the 2nd and 3rd ones. Dude had to look away when they hooked up the pitocin bag to the IV that was already in my arm for our first and left the room when I asked to see the placenta, him cutting the cord is just not going to happen!
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I begged my hubby to cut the cord at our daughter’s because my dad always told how much of a bonding experience it was. And now my hubby says he has that experience as well. But once he heard my reason as to why I wanted him to do it, he totally understood and said he was glad he did it.
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What a jerk! If DH wasn’t wanting to cut the cord, I’d be fine with it! Keep your stupid opinions to yourself!
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