Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
19
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Be Prepared For Excruciating Pain.”
“Well, be prepared for excruciating pain.” – Family Practice doctor when mother stated her birth plan included using the tub, walking, and position changes to avoid pain medication.
There are 18 comments to this post.
Mama Wrench had this to say,
Dec 19, 2011 @ 6:07 am (Quote)
Every OB should have this painted in bold letters on their exam rooms: “Your labor cannot be stronger than you because it is you.” This was my mantra during labor and guess what, it’s true.
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Sheva Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 6:59 am (Quote)
I love that! Is that your line? I want to make a plaque to hang up in my room. And I plan to share it with my clients. Awesome mantra!
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Mama Wrench Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 7:11 am (Quote)
Not mine, but I don’t know who originally said it — I saw it on a birth blog and it stuck with me!
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I know I was confident that I could handle the pain, through breathing, positive thinking, etc. but for whatever reason I was totally unprepared and overwhelmed by the pain. So for me, hearing this more often actually would’ve helped. I know I’d read about very painful experiences, it just didn’t really sink in that it could happen to me. I did make it through without pain meds and interventions in a hospital, but it was NO FUN.
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Corita Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 10:10 am (Quote)
I agree that women should hear honestly that the pain of labor is different for everybody, it is very real, and that it can be hard work.
I do NOt agree that a medical practitioner, especially a MAN, should say condescendingly, “Well, be prepared for excruciating pain,” as a way of diminishing or dismissing the hopes and desires of the mother-to-be.
This doc said it in a way that was rude and possibly calculated to put the mother in her place.
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jaed Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 3:19 pm (Quote)
Not just that, but calculated to sabotage her by convincing her that she wouldn’t be able to handle labor. Fear and feeling out of control is well known to diminish the capacity to deal with pain, and I read this OB as doing his or her best to make sure the mother begs for an epidural, shuts up, and lies nicely in bed watching a DVD for the entire course of labor (except every hour when someone wants to shove a hand up her hoo-ha to see whether it’s time to stand around and yell at her to PUUUUSSSSH!!.
I’m getting cynical.
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Sheva Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 4:01 pm (Quote)
I don’t know, I don’t see this as cynical. If you’ve seen it happen a lot of times, or had it happen to you a lot of times, it’s not cynical, it’s being realistic and prepared.
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Cattaca Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 6:16 pm (Quote)
My favorite was when I was almost at 10 except for a lip, the OB wanted to Pit me to make the contractions stronger!!!!! I almost laughed in his face! My labor had been textbook up until this point and thank goodness we’d had the foresight to hire a doula. Hands and knees took care of the lip in an hour and my daughter was born 2 hours after that. I can only imagine what my PPH would’ve been like if I’d had the Pit making my uterus even more exhausted.
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Thankfully the nurse was all gung-ho about my birth plan and everything worked out fairly well.
But ditto to what Heather P had to say: “Wow, I’ve given birth twice using those methods. The only time the pain was really bad was when I had the urge to push and the doctor wouldn’t “let” me. Big surprise that I had the next one at home.”
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These male docs crack me up when the talk about labor. I know, they’re educated and have seen plenty, but they don’t KNOW. Not in the way a mom knows.
And the excruciating pain? That can be helped if doc lets mom do her thing.
I always tell prospective clients that I can’t take away the pain entirely – that, only drugs can do – but I can take it down from “Oh my gosh I can’t do this” to “Wow this hurts but I can totally cope with it”.
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Chrissy Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 12:26 pm Chrissy(Quote)
Why do people always assume these are male docs? I’m 26 weeks pregnant and the amount of women who have gawked at me in astonishment after I’ve told them I’m having a home birth and then said ‘what? You’re having a home birth? But what about pain relief?!’.. it’s incredible. Of course its going to be painful but there is a reason for the pain. The majority of women in today’s western society just jump straight to the idea that they won’t be able to handle the pain. I’ve just personally seen more of it from women than men.
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Sheva Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 2:26 pm Sheva(Quote)
You’re right, it’s mostly women that ask about pain relief. Although, that’s probably because I mostly discuss my birth choices with other women.
Also when my sister told the male doctor she works for that I’d had a home birth, he asked, but who gave her the epidural?
I guess I was assuming this doc was male. I was also making a blanket comment about how funny I find it when male docs presume to know how labor feels.
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Jewels Reply:
December 20th, 2011 at 2:23 pm Jewels(Quote)
“Also when my sister told the male doctor she works for that I’d had a home birth, he asked, but who gave her the epidural?”
CRYING with laughter here!
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