Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
14
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“So, How’s The Baby?”
“So, how’s the baby?” – OB to mother and father at 6 week postpartum visit. The baby passed away at birth.
There are 28 comments to this post.
The thing that scares me, I wonder how many babies this OB has pass away on his or her watch to not remember the mama’s who’s babies pass at birth.
OP, hugs. Sorry for your loss doesn’t cut it.
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Melinda Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 4:22 pm (Quote)
I was thinking the same thing. 
Do doctors view mothers and their babies so much like objects now that the loss of either one is so quickly forgotten?
I can not imagine being in the OP’s position…I don’t even know how I would respond to this. So incredibly sorry, OP
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This could have been an OB other than the one who attended the birth, especially if this was a big practice. We’ll hopefully find out on the pink link. But I do think that RTFC (Read the F’ing Chart) needs to become an official entry in acronymfinder.com. So, so sorry OP.
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Kara had this to say,
Dec 14, 2011 @ 4:40 pm (Quote)
This one is mine. I can’t pink the link because I’m on my phone. This happened back in 08 and it was a different doctor than the one who delivered me. In fact it was a different hospital because I was sent to another city (close by) to be monitored by perinatologists. At my 20 week ultrasound they saw zero fluid so the referred me to the peris. The peris thought my water had broken, so I was in the hospital bed for 10 1/2 weeks trying to save my first born daughter. I was induced at 34 weeks (for suspected lung maturity) and after she are out she let out a whimper and that was it. They immediately rushed her over to the corner of the room and tried to get her stable. A few minutes later (I still hadn’t seen her) they took her to the nicu
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Kara had this to say,
Dec 14, 2011 @ 4:45 pm (Quote)
This one is mine. I can’t pink the link because I’m on my phone. This happened back in 08 and it was a different doctor than the one who delivered me. In fact it was a different hospital because I was sent to another city (close by) to be monitored by perinatologists. At my 20 week ultrasound they saw zero fluid so the referred me to the peris. The peris thought my water had broken, so I was in the hospital bed for 10 1/2 weeks trying to save my first born daughter. I was induced at 34 weeks (for suspected lung maturity) and after she are out she let out a whimper and that was it. They immediately rushed her over to the corner of the room and tried to get her stable. A few minutes later (I still hadn’t seen her) they took her to the nicu. Hours later I saw her for the first time and she was barely hanging on, her lungs were very small. I was sent back to my room and then got up to pee and immediately hemorraged. Blood ecerywhere. I recovered after the dr took out the clots. The next day the nicu dr came in and told me they did an ultrasound on her because she hadn’t peed all night. It turns out she never grew kidneys, and the drs hadn’t realized it the whole time I was on bed rest in the hospital. ( with weekly ultrasounds) she passed away in my arms shortly after they took her breathing tube out. She was beautiful, she had my ears and my husband dimpled chin. Her name was Ashlyn. I have since had two healthy logo daughters that were no doubt watched over by their big sister.
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V Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 5:30 pm (Quote)
OMG how horrible of the doctors for you.
Not just what was said at the post-natal appointment, but having you on bed-rest for more than 10 weeks because they didn’t realize what the problem with your daughter was! They are doctors, they are supposed to check for these things (what else are ultrasound for??) and know what it means to find something like no amniotic fluid.
Glad you have 2 healthy girls at home.
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JoAnna Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 5:47 pm (Quote)
I’m so sorry for your loss, but glad for you that you’ve since had two healthy daughters.
I’m also very sorry you were treated this way by an idiot OB who didn’t take the time to read your chart.
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Tee Reply:
December 14th, 2011 at 5:47 pm (Quote)
Wow, weekly ultrasounds and they still missed her kidney problems? That’s scary! It sounds like little Ashlyn was precious. I’m glad you got to hold her while she died, rather than her having to just lay there in the bed. I’m so sorry for your loss, Kara.
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Beth Reply:
December 15th, 2011 at 9:03 am (Quote)
Oh, Mama. I am so sorry for your loss. Blessings to you. I will remember Ashlyn’s story. **hugs**
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Rebecca Reply:
December 21st, 2011 at 8:28 pm (Quote)
Oh I am so heartbroken for you. I lost my first son for the same reason. A routine ultrasound at 17 weeks revealed an AFI of zero. I was at a specialty/high risk practice and the doctors had seen this before. Whether I had had PROM or my son had stopped making fluid, the outcome was grim. We could inject artificial fluid to find the problem or do an autopsy after he was born, but the outcome was the same. We chose to induce labor to bring him home to us early. He was stillborn at 18 weeks exactly, he died during labor. His autopsy showed the same findings – no kidneys. I am so sorry you fought so hard and so long with false hope. I too have been asked that question – by a nurse attending the birth of my second, living son, despite the fact that she attended my first son’s stillbirth! I threw her out of the room. My son’s name is Ethan by the way. I’m glad that when Ashlyn passed, she was in the arms of such a fierce and loving mother.
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amanda had this to say,
Dec 14, 2011 @ 5:50 pm (Quote)
I am so very sorry for the loss of your little girl. I can’t believe that at 34 weeks they didn’t realize there was no kidneys. I was prom until 33 when we also lost our little guy, and they were constantly checking kidney function on the u/s.
I’m especially sorry that your ob didn’t bother to check the chart before starting the visit
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I can’t even imagine the pain and suffering this caused for you. It makes me cry just imagining it. I am so, so sorry, Kara, that this doc didn’t take the 5 seconds to look at your chart before making this comment. I’m sure s/he felt pretty badly afterwards.
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Belliesoflove had this to say,
Dec 15, 2011 @ 12:27 am (Quote)
Kara~I’m so sorry for your loss. It saddens me that so many people failed you. People get so tied up in their jobs, they forget to be human.
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Dear Mama, I am so sorry. Something similar happened to me (MW walked into room and asked where the baby was, and she was stillborn at full term – it was posted several weeks ago on this site). It’s like a punch in the gut. I hope that you’ve found some healing with time. Bless you.
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Melissa Reply:
December 20th, 2011 at 12:53 pm (Quote)
A similar thing happened to my best friend. She had already lost four babies pretty late-term. The nurse walked in, carrying her 2-inch think file, and asked if this baby (#5) was her first? Why don’t they come up with some way to flag files that contain extra-sensitive information? A one or two-sentence note on the very top of the file that’s required reading would prevent things like this!
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I’m so sorry.
I miscarried at 14 weeks, and a few days after we lost our baby, I had a doctor’s appointment at our maternity clinic (that was previously set up, so we were told to go anyway). Not only did we have to sit in the waiting room for half an hour with a bunch of pregnant women, when the doctor came in, she cheerfully asked us how we were, and when we responded that we were hanging in there, so asked us what was wrong! She didn’t even take 2 minutes to read my chart before she walked in the room!
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Add Your Comment.
This actually hurts my heart. I am so sorry for this family. I can not imagine the pain such a careless statement would cause. Way to go doc! Next time – read the chart before entering the room.
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