Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
12
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“As You Get Older And Have More Kids, Things Just Don’t Work As Well Any More.”
“As you get older and have more kids, things just don’t work as well any more.” – OB’s reply to mother who stated that she was having Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.
There are 22 comments to this post.
Well, it is true that with subsequent pregnancies, many pregnancy issues can be worse, such as ligament pain, stretching, Braxton-Hicks, etc.
But there’s a way to say it, and a way not to say it.
I’m on pregnancy #6, and this one seems way harder than the others. I think age has what to do with it, too. I’m also a bit older than I was when I had my first…
But it’s not simply that things ‘don’t work well anymore’.
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This sounds like a refusal to help the mom. It sounds like a brush-off.
If that’s the case, then what good is this doctor? If we’re supposed to “see an OB in case something goes wrong,” and then when something goes wrong the doctor says “things just don’t work as well any longer,” then how does this doctor justify working as a doctor?
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Cassaundra Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 7:02 am (Quote)
now THAT is the big question isn’t it? and if the vast majority are dismissive, undereducated, lazy and manipulative and just plain unable to support a normal birth never mind leave their patients better off for having used them, WHY are ANY of them treating women? we are essentially without care aren’t we?
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Jane Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 7:54 am (Quote)
Many of the good ones know how to support a pregnancy, and women who need high-intensity intervention because of catastrophic conditions are best off with an OB.
But too many OBs seem not to know how to support a normal pregnancy that doesn’t require massive interventions but is still experiencing problems. Did you pass out at the grocery store? “Well, you’re pregnant, darlin’.” (Said to me by my OB.) Are you experiencing anemia? “We don’t do anything for that.” Haven’t been able to keep food down for six days? “Well, try some crackers, but remember nausea is normal and you’re doing this for your baby.”
Nutrition? “Well, just don’t gain too much weight.” What should I be eating? “Uh….well….” That’s where the OB system in the US is falling desperately short. These are surgeons who never learned about the normal ins and outs of pregnancy and how to support the process BEFORE it becomes a train wreck. Once it becomes a train wreck, then they get to save the day. Until then, yeah, I think a lot of OBs are useless because they haven’t educated themselves about things they don’t think are problems. It’s as if those OBs think their entire reason to be is to tell the mom when it’s time to get the baby out. 
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jaed Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 8:32 am (Quote)
Once it becomes a train wreck, then they get to save the day.
Which of course gives them a motivation to cause a train wreck, because then they get to put on the cape and leotard and leap into action. Not that this is a conscious motivation in any OB who’s a normal human being… but unconsciously, I think it’s a working part of the cascade of interventions, and the sense of inevitability about it.
Consider an OB who ruptures the amniotic membrane for no special reason, without checking the baby’s position first. Rupture followed by cord prolapse followed by lots of people rushing into the room and shouting – a vortex of exciting activity, with the calm, efficient, knowledgeable OB at the center of it all – followed by the crash CS in which the OB exhibits his skill under pressure. Followed by the tearful thanks of the mother – “You saved my baby!”
(When in fact the OB through carelessness endangered the baby’s life, caused the mother avoidable physical damage, and is the reason the baby is in NICU for a week with pulmonary distress. Yeah.)
An emergency is emotionally fulfilling for a surgeon in a way that normal birth isn’t. The hero of the day and the center of attention gets satisfactions that aren’t available to someone who simply assists normal childbirth, or stands by just in case. No ethical OB who is aware of this dynamic will knowingly let it sway his or her actions, of course, but man is the rationalizing animal.
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Kate, Ren's mama Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 8:01 am (Quote)
Exactly, Jane. This just sounds like a brush-off.
I wonder how well it would be received if a geriatric specialist took the same approach with her patients:
Losing eyesight? Sorry, as you get older, things just don’t work as well any more.
Memory troubles? Sorry, as you get older, things just don’t work as well any more.
Trouble with balance? Sorry, as you get older, things just don’t work as well any more.
Sounds like a cop out for a lazy doc…
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jaed Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 8:23 am (Quote)
My mother’s doctor actually does this with her, frequently. “Well, you can’t expect to be as healthy when you’re older…” Drives me bananas, but she accepts it.
I think blaming age and natural processes is the next-to-last resort of a lazy diagnostician. (Blaming the patient being the classic last resort.) And unfortunately it’s not limited to OBs.
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Dawn Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 4:06 pm (Quote)
My husband’s doctor is pulling this on him. He just turned 29.
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Michelle of the Crunchy Infertile Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 6:49 pm (Quote)
Last time I had my eyes checked I mentioned that for a while now my eyes seem to be getting worse about being sensitive to the light, including one frightening event where I went from bright snow to a poorly lit room and was blind for a good five minutes. His response? “You have blue eyes and are getting older (I was 34 at the time). People with blue eyes have trouble with light sensitivity as they get older, wear sunglasses.” While I have no doubt that there might be an inkling of truth in what he said, I doubt that’s all of it or at this rate all blue eyed people would be blind by middle age and I felt very dismissed by his answer. I haven’t yet found another, this reminds me I need to do that.
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Kate, Ren's Mama Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 7:35 pm (Quote)
Jeez, we’ve got a whole epidemic of lazy doctors of all types! Given how much we pay for healthcare in this country, it’s a crying shame
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I had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction with my last pregnancy. I had researched it, and found that while my pain presented a little differently than most cases, it was still likely Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. I went to my midwife, and she told me that I was wrong, and in any case there was little I could do, except maybe a chiropractic adjustment might help (I had already tried, it hadn’t helped).
I got back online, and found some random reference to eating more eggs, or taking lecithin helping with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. I thought “What the heck, it won’t hurt me.” and went and got some egg lecithin and started taking it per the bottle’s instructions. The pain decreased dramatically, to virtually non existent. I now tell everyone I know who is pregnant, or who might ever become pregnant.
But no midwife I talk to or other doulas, have ever even heard of this simple solution. OB’s blow it off as old wives tales. When it is so simple, I guess, they would rather just ignore it, because it isn’t cool enough.
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Darsy Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 9:21 am (Quote)
Thanks for this! I am facing possible SPD (not diagnosed yet, and Dr. Google is as fickle as those featured here, sometimes), so this is something I will keep in mind!
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kbdidit Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 10:12 pm (Quote)
Thanks for this tip. I’m expecting my 3rd and this is my 1st pregnancy over 30. I really thought maybe I was just getting old or something. I had SPD with my other kids but it wasn’t as bad and didn’t kick in as early as this time. I’m going to try more eggs and the lecithin.
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I was 20 when I delivered my first child and I could barely walk because of my severe spd. I would yell when my husband would take a turn in the car.
My SPD has actually gotten progressively better with each pregnancy and i think the chiropractic care I receive and the lecithin I take are why that is.
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I can say from experience that being older does make pregnancy harder. My first three came when I was 18, 20, and 22 and now I am 32 and 30 weeks pregnant… and I can REALLY feel that extra decade of life. That said.. I had SPD with my second (at 20) and not with my third, and am just beginning to have issues with it in this pregnancy. I’m old enough now to be able to afford good chiropractic and acupuncture. I do wake up in the morning feeling like I was beaten with a large stick a lot already though. It sucks to be told by a Dr. to suck it up… but sometimes that is really about the only option. Unless you want to take narcotics for the pain while pregnant. (I was offered vicodin when I had problems with it at 20)
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For what it’s worth, I am 28, and this is my fourth pregnancy (three years between each of them, too, it’s not like they’re all Irish twins or anything).
The SPD is the ONLY thing I have actually needed to ask for his help on, and that quote is the sum total of his response, followed by “So we will see you back here in four weeks, hand this to the receptionist to set up that appointment” and he then walked out the door.
Thankfully, I am not relying on him for actual care since we were able to pay out of pocket for a homebirth midwife.
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Oh my gosh! thank you so much for posting this! My lower back and pelvic-region have been hurting constantly since my i was 6m preganant with my now 18m old baby. It got so bad when i was 6m preganat with my now 5 month old (yes, i have 2 sons 13m apart), that I went to my OB desperate for help because I couldn’t sit, stand or laydown without feeling like my pelvis was being crushed. I couldnt get out of bed without help. She dismissed me, said my body just wasn’t ready to be pregnant yet, let alone pregant AGAIN. Now that i’ve looked this up, i really think this is what is wrong with me. I’m going to call my family doctor today! thanks again, i had no idea such a thing exsisted, was never mentioned by my docs despite my constantly complaining of unbearable pelvic pain. I hope something can be done so i can actually enjoy my son’s babyhood!
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Huh. I had my first at 17 and had SPD. There goes that theory!
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