Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
30
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“It’s All In Your Head.”
“It’s all in your head.” – OB/GYN to woman who complained of pelvic pain and painful intercourse.
There are 34 comments to this post.
Jessica had this to say,
Nov 30, 2011 @ 3:04 pm (Quote)
I can’t stand when this is used. We aren’t a bunch of crazy, ignorant women who have nothing better to do than make gyn appointments. If a man came to an appointment and claimed the same thing, he’d most likely be taken seriously. Why can’t we?
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 3:12 pm (Quote)
This is actually what the doctor is trying to do. Make the woman feel like she is crazy. By passing off her condition as something that isn’t concrete or isn’t really there, he is discrediting her sanity to herself. This is called gaslighting and it’s most common for men to do to women. MOST men do this without realizing it. It’s the most common thing since the early 1900′s to think that women are crazy, thus, the phrase “crazy woman driver” or “PMS” or if a mother is having an off day, people might think she’s not got it all together and may be unstable.
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Robyn Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 3:43 pm (Quote)
If I recall correctly, the term “hysteria” actually originated because of the feeling of arousal that women got during that time period when women weren’t “supposed” to enjoy sex. They’d get those feelings and become “hysterical” and would go to a doctor to be treated for it (he’d massage her until she orgasmed). Hence why the term “hysterectomy” is applied to the removal of our sexual organs.
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Jane Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 4:49 pm (Quote)
I don’t think that’s true, Robyn. Hystos is the greek word for womb. Hysteria meant the woman’s womb was in control of her mind.
Therefore “mass hysteria” meant the whole population was acting like women. 
“Hysterectomy” means the removal of the uterus because it’s “hystos” (womb) and “-ectomy” (removal.)
BTW, the term for the testicles is “orchid.” So an “orchiectomy” is the removal of the testes. I’m not sure what the connection is to the flower. 
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jaed Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 5:22 pm (Quote)
Haven’t you ever looked closely at an orchid flower?
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minuteye Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 10:08 pm (Quote)
If I remember correctly, the Greeks believed that psychological hysteria was caused by a ‘wandering womb’. They thought that a woman’s uterus detaching from its position in the lower abdomen and moving up in her body would crowd the other internal organs and make her ‘hysterical’.
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Jenae Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 6:03 pm (Quote)
I learned in a women’s history course and then again in a Sexual Psychology course that vibrators were originally a medical device – women who were too “high strung” or suffering from other such diseases went to doctors for, essentially, masturbation (although it wasn’t called that, it was called “pelvic massage”). A doctor came up with a rather awkward first vibrator, to save the fatigued wrists and hands of doctors.
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mharry Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 7:15 pm (Quote)
You’re techinically both right. Hysteria comes from the greek word of womb and the idea that a crazy woman was being controlled by her body. One of the old methods to cure this was indeed a vibrator (though making honestly insane women orgasm surprisingly didn’t do much for their real conditions).
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Knitted in the Womb Reply:
December 1st, 2011 at 10:51 pm (Quote)
Interesting…I’ve never heard anything like that…so I did a bit of Googling…..
I’ve always heard that “hysteria” was referring to “craziness” in women that could be cured by removal of the uterus…thus the term “hysterectomy.” What I found from Googling was slightly off from this. Though I looked at several sites…this one seemed to have the most thorough treatment: http://courses.washington.edu/freudlit/Hysteria.Notes.html
Seems my understanding was a bit off…that the root word “hystera” actually does mean “womb” in Greek…so then rather than “hysterectomy” being named after a woman’s psychological condition…the psychological condition was named after the body part.
“Hysteria” often included sexual frigidity, so yes, it was treated by doctors causing orgasm (or by hysterectomy)…IIICCCKKKK!
Interestingly…Frued was one of the first to suggest that hysteria was caused by repressed emotions from childhood sexual abuse…but his wealthy sponsors didn’t like this conclusion (because so many wealthy women were “hysterical”), so he withdrew his theory a year after first publically postulating it…and instead insisted that the women he had interviewed were making up the childhood sexual encounters with adult males due to his infamous “penis envy” theory. Sigh. So close to revealing the truth…and he backed away.
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It sounds like this doctor has his basic anatomy confused. Replace head w/ vagina..there. All better. Now he can find what the problem is?
This reminds me of the OB resident who was on call the night of my oldest son’s birth. I had gotten an epidural to prepare for the c section they thought I needed. When I didn’t need it, they turned the epidural completely off. It was after this that the OB resident picked up a pair of shears and gave me an unneeded episiotomy w/o any consent/warning/anesthetic. When I screamed his reaction was, “There’s no way you could have felt that. You have an epidural.”
Considering I couldn’t see past the blanket they threw over my legs, how else would I have known?
So yeah, totally with Jane on this one. I made a mistake/can’t fix this so let’s just make the patient question reality.
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Jessica Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 3:28 pm (Quote)
I had a million problems caused by my Mirena. When I went to the doctor he said ‘The Mirena doesnt cause those side effects’ So that was practically calling me crazy! Funny thing is I got the Mirena out and was back to my normal self in a month!
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DueDoon#2 Reply:
December 1st, 2011 at 10:30 am (Quote)
We must have had the same Dr, mine said this as well about mirena, that what I was feeling couldn’t possibly be caused by it, yet once mirena was out I was much better.
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Layla19 Reply:
December 7th, 2011 at 9:59 am (Quote)
I got that reaction with Nuvaring and cramping- “Oh, that’s not a side effect of that.” Seriously, doctor, I removed it, cramping stopped. Put one in, cramping starts up. Remove it, cramping stops. Medicine is a science- you look at the evidence THEN make a conclusion, not the other way around.
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I had a doctor tell me basically the same thing. I requested a BC pill with a different form of estrogen than what I had previously been on. When I described my symptoms and the research that led me to my decision to try a different pill, he said, “I’ll humor you, but they’re the same thing.”
Grr. What ever happened to evidence-based medicine?
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Details Reply:
November 30th, 2011 at 4:24 pm (Quote)
Which pill is best and where do I learn more?
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Emily G. Reply:
December 1st, 2011 at 4:49 pm (Quote)
There’s not necessarily one that’s better than the other. In my case, I had never done well on hormones. I had just assumed that I would never do well with them. My husband was planning to get a vasectomy, but he was kind of dragging his feet about it, so I decided to do some more research about the pill. I talked to several other women online and IRL that had the same symptoms as me, and many of them said that those symptoms went away when they tried a pill with a different synthetic hormone (I honestly don’t remember which was which now). I looked it up, and all of the pills I had ever been on before had the same hormones, so I decided to ask for one with a different one.
He did prescribe the one I asked for, but I found out I was pregnant while I was waiting for my next period so I could start the first pack.
Anyway, if you’re wanting to try something different, look and see what other kinds of options you have, and what synthetic hormones are in the different pills. Many women I’ve talked to have had more success with tri-phasal pills over mono or dual-phasal.
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My pelvis is in my head? Learn something new every day!
Seriously, this one flat out ticks me off. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been accused of lying or exaggerating or whatnot. My body is very unusual and I don’t show textbook symptoms for anything! As a result, the word psychosomatic is constantly flung in my face. Makes me SO ANGRY! I almost lost my life all because I couldn’t convince a doctor that I was being honest with him.
Rant over. I think.
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Jessica had this to say,
Nov 30, 2011 @ 7:37 pm (Quote)
I heard something a little different about hysteria. It was assumed the uterus simply floated around in the woman’s body and whatever it smashed into would cause her pain and “hysterics.” As for the orchid, I think it’s also because of the bulb’s shape. Despite knowing more about women’s anatomy it’s mind-boggling that we’re still treated like idiots and mental cases.
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*kicks doctor in the crotch*
“Doctor, please stand up straight and look at me while we discuss this problem I’m having. What, you say that hurt? No, it’s all in your head.”
Seriously. This pisses me off. My OBGYN, who was far from perfect but aced this, sent me to physical therapy for painful intercourse. 6 months into PT, 2.5 years after we were married and started having sex, I finally managed to make love to my husband without pain. It was NOT all in my head.
This also reminds me of my family practice doc when I was about 12 who, when I came in for crippling menstrual pain that left me curled up in a ball screaming for days, offered to do a pelvic exam and when my mom declined said, “Well, she’ll just have to deal with it. How bad can it be?” *throat punch*
*I realize the initial statement assumes the OBGYN is a male. Feel free to substitute another appropriate piece of anatomy if he was a female.
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I had doctors tell me that for years. until I finally found one who paid attention. Cause? stage 4 endo with severe adhesions on colon, bladder, uterus, and other areas in my pelvis.
in my head. right.
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I hate this for you, OP! I had extremely painful sex for several years under the misguided idea that it was ‘all in my head’. My DH was super supportive about it but the doctors, nurses, ect were not. Finally after having my daughter there was no more pain. I wonder why. LOL
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Went to a ton of DR’s for many many years with these same complaints. Turned out I had severe endometriosis, that had started even affecting my kidneys. The same answer I got from all the Dr’s was that it was in my head, I had no pain tolerance, I was a hypochondriac, and that it was completely normal. Eventually I found a DR. who listened and suggested something might be wrong.
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This reminds me of my midwife telling me that my miscarriage couldn’t possibly have been as painful as I described, I must have just been “really sad.” She also told me I felt things more because I was “too in tune with my body.” I wish I could have turned it down then!
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Gaslighting. The doctor doesn’t want to admit to not knowing the answer and won’t take the time to look into the matter and doesn’t feel like writing a referral to a competent doctor, so instead the doctor shames the woman and makes her feel insane in the hopes that she’ll shut up.
To the OP: I hope you reported this doctor to the state licensing board, the practice’s chief, the hospital where the doctor has privileges, and any other organization you could. Because refusing to investigate complaints of pain probably falls under some definition of medical malpractice.
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Mama to 4 Reply:
December 17th, 2011 at 3:46 pm Mama to 4(Quote)
Agreed. My provider told me that my PSD was just the baby on a nerve because she was so low even though I was obviously carrying very high and two months later “needed” a c-section because she was still high after my water broke. (But had visibly dropped since the appointment at which she was supposedly low.)
A chiropractor verified later that week that my hips were so misaligned that one leg was shortened.
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