Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
20
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“I’m The Boss. You’re The Patient…”
“I’m the boss. You’re the patient. If you’re not progessing 1-2cm per hour, I WILL do another c-section!” – OB to VBAC mother.
There are 43 comments to this post.
Ashley Bean had this to say,
Nov 20, 2011 @ 10:34 am (Quote)
I’m not a violent person, but this makes me want to smack him. I was very nice to my drs and nurses while in the hospital, even though they weren’t always nice to me, but this one would have made me flip shit on the dr. That is not ok ever, especially when talking about major abdominal suregery. No other surgeon talks to his patients that way. You would never hear a surgeon tell his patient “If your back pain doesn’t get better or you don’t show progress by x date, then I WILL do surgery”. For an OB to say that is just insane.
I really hope we see a pink link and she got her VBAC
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Dr. you are the boss of a lot of people. You are the boss of your nurses, your receptionist, your assistant, and a lot of other peons around here. But you are NOT the boss of me. You in fact have to ask my permission and get written consent before you can perform any kind of procedure on me. I don’t work for you. You work for me. Now go get me a sandwich and let me labor in peace!
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OT the boss of me. You in fact have to ask my permission and get written consent before you can perform any kind of procedure on me. I don’t work for you. You work for me. Now go get me a sandwich and let me labor in peace!
Exactly. Wow.
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Does anyone know the legal ramifications behind this? Can a doctor literally force someone to have a c-section? I mean, I would think that you would have to do it under general anesthesia since the woman would probably be fighting it. But can they legally do that?
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Sheva Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 1:52 pm (Quote)
If they can convince a judge that the woman is incoherent or incapable of making decisions or something like that, then, yes, I think. Although I hope and pray that the woman’s next of kin keeps her safe.
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Tee Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 2:06 pm (Quote)
The thing that makes me wonder is that you hear of this kind of threat being made on a fairly frequent basis and I know that it’s not possible that every single one of those mothers are incompetent to make their own choices. Doctors that make this kind of threat obviously get away with making it and that makes me so sad. So often I hear parents teach their child(ren) not to let anyone but Mommy, Daddy and a doctor touch them in certain places and I just want to scream when I hear that! It is not a good idea to teach children that doctors can do whatever they want!!! It really speaks how we, as a society, put the power in a doctor’s hands. These kinds of threats… along with many other problems… won’t stop until society as a whole changes their view of doctors. (And when I say ‘doctor,’ I mean the medical field in general.)
Rant over. Thanks for listening.
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Sheva Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 2:15 pm (Quote)
I tell my kids “only Mommy, Daddy, and the doctor *AND ONLY IF YOU’RE OK WITH IT*”. I tell them they’re in charge of their own bodies, and no one, not even a doctor, can touch them without their permission, EVER. And when a doc asked me if he could examine my daughter I asked her permission right in front of him, and she said she wasn’t comfortable, so I told the doc no. I hope she remembers, and the doc, too.
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Tee Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 2:26 pm (Quote)
It really warms my heart to hear that, Sheva. I can’t begin to tell you the amount of regret that my mother has over teaching me that doctors were “safe.”
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Kristin Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 7:06 pm (Quote)
I can say for certainty that doctor’s aren’t “safe.”
My pediatrician started tickling me near my teeny breasts when I was 14.
I told my mother I NEVER wanted to go to the doctor again.
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Tee Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 7:08 pm (Quote)
I hear ya, Kristin. Being raped by a GYN and her nurse at 14 years old pretty much knocked that “safe doctor” thing right out of my head. It’s just a shame that other people don’t think about it along those lines.
I really hope your mother respected your wishes and didn’t make you return to that doctor.
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recheleh Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 2:37 pm (Quote)
Tee,
Depends on the Judge.
http://advocatesforpregnantwomen.org/articles/forced_c-section.htm
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Tee Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 2:44 pm (Quote)
Wow, those were some scary stories to read. Thanks for providing that link, Recheleh!
Sometimes I wonder if we, as a society, have brought some of this on ourselves. We live in a time where way too many people will sue at the drop of a hat. Doctors clearly state that they do much of what they do for fear of being sued. Please don’t misunderstand… I’m not blaming the woman, not at all! I’m just wondering if things would improve dramatically for pregnant women if we broke that “sue-cycle.” Does that make sense?
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Racheal Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 5:03 pm (Quote)
I get what you are saying, but if they want the ‘sue cycle’ to break then perhaps they should stop telling women that the only way to have a safe birth is under their care. You promise women safety & something goes wrong & they are rightfully going to be pissed.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 3:12 pm (Quote)
I’ve heard of at least one hospital not far from me (maybe two hours) that has established up front that they will get a court order should a woman come in to attempt a VBAC. Apparently if you are not ready to push, even if you are laboring well, you will have another cesarean. Doesn’t that pose more risk to the patient than just having the VBAC already?!
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Jane Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 4:31 pm (Quote)
It seems to me that their stated practice that ALL women who want a VBAC will get a court order against them opens them up to a class action lawsuit, because it would be very easy to prove that a blanket ban on ALL vaginal births after cesarean is not required and therefore bad medicine and harmful to most women.
If anyone could get a lawyer to take it on, that is. And I would imagine that the judges involved should be leery if they’re told up-front that the doctors will do this, simply because it can’t be that every single VBAC is at great risk even before labor begins.
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Lisa Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 4:52 pm (Quote)
Sometimes they don’t even bother with a judge. And because they’re the “experts” and no one is dead, they get away with it. 
http://birthraped.wordpress.com/ (first story on that link)
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Jespren had this to say,
Nov 20, 2011 @ 1:57 pm (Quote)
Problem is proving it Sheva, woman says ‘i said I do not consent and it wasn’t an emergency’ doc, backed up my frightened staff, says ‘she gave verbal consent after we advised her of a medical emergency, that’s why we didn’t have written consent, there wasn’t time. But we all heard her.’ Lawyer, police, hospital, et all side with the 6 people not the 1. Without video or audio tapes as proof they are lying a woman forced into a c-section really has no legal recourse. Of course it’s illegal, but illegality means nothing if it can’t be proven.
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as a hbac mama this pisses me off. It was over 24 hours between when I went to my midwife’s house and was confirmed to be almost a 4 & when I actually reached a 10. Not to mention that my ‘contraction pattern’ wasn’t really a pattern the whole time & strength, length & spacing where all over the place through the whole labor. Yet baby & I were doing great & my body did get there. So thank God I didn’t have this doctor. My hbac baby & I are proof that what he’s telling her she ‘has’ to do is not what has to happen for a mama to have a vbac (or a 1st baby).
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I’m the submitter and here’s the full story:
After extensive research, I decided to try for a VBAC after having a c-section 7 years ago at the young age of 16. I was still seeing the same OB-GYN, who had already requested I schedule my repeat c-section at my first prenatal appointment. When I sat down with him at my 7 month checkup, I asked to discuss a VBAC with him. He began by asking why I’d want to “ruin” and “stretch” my vagina, and that a c-section would change nothing since I already had a scar. “You only dialated to 6 cm with your first child, which means you’ll do the same with this one,” he explained. “Besides, your pelvic is not big enough anyways” (keep in mind, I have an average build and am not petite).
He went on to tell me about a patient he knew of several years ago whose uterus ruptured while pushing. After her emergency c-section, they found that the baby had suffocated and “the parents took home their vegetable baby. Do YOU want to take home a vegetable baby, too??” “On the contrary,” he proudly announced, “in 25 years, I have NEVER had a c-section go wrong.”
I told him I was adament about at least having the ability to move around and TRY to dilate on my own and do everything natural, and he responded with, “Ha, oh well! As soon as you get to the hospital, you’ll be hooked to internal monitors and will have to be in the bed!”
Then, as to ensure there was no confusion whatsoever on his stance in healthcare, he concluded with this: “I’m the boss. You’re the patient. If you’re not progessing 1-2cm per hour, I WILL do another c-section!”
When I do birth this baby in the comfort of my own home with the wonderful midwife and doula I have just hired, I plan to pay this doctor a visit. In the meantime, I will ensure that this story reaches far and wide, as to save others from this surgery-happy animal!
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Sheva Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 6:17 pm (Quote)
That’s awesome that you fired him!!
Good luck on your upcoming HBAC!!
Sending healthy and happy birth vibes your way.
Please let us know how this doc responds to your little visit.
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Samantha Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 6:20 pm (Quote)
WOW! Not only is this man a horrible doctor, he is just a horrible person!
I have my fingers crossed for your HBAC. I am due in 9 days, and am also planning an HBAC. I have had nothing but amazing support from my midwives, and my doula. All three keep assuring me that my labor with this baby will be different than it was with my son (I only dilated to 3 1/2 and had 5 minute long contractions.)
Good luck!!!
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Racheal Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 7:25 pm (Quote)
being a 1st time mom with an unneeded c/s followed up by an hbac 2.5 years later, I can say that yes, being at home in & of itself changed labor for me. The whole experience was different, body & soul… all the way from the 1 hour prenatals that were all about ME ME ME & ME SOMEMORE (my midwife would ‘feel my internal scar’ & direct me to feel it – all at my request – at just about every appointment. Not because she felt there was any need to check on it, but simply b/c it made me feel better)… to the labor when I was able to relax in my own bed, get up & move without having to be unhooked from anything or ask anyones permission, being able to at anytime look next to me & find somebody by my side who was paying so close of attention to me & my needs that they tuned right into me & I often didn’t even have to ask for what I needed… I’d say ‘count’ & the counter pressure was applied.
Anyway, point is… a loving provider & team who are there for you & nobody else & who aren’t in a hurry is such a beautiful way to spend labor. Bless you & your pending births ladies!
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Actually, I’m the boss. You’re fired!
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LG Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 10:26 am LG(Quote)
THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!
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juliewashere88 Reply:
November 21st, 2011 at 10:56 pm juliewashere88(Quote)
This.
I wonder if doctors realize that they are being commissioned for a service, rather than being granted full custody and ownership of whoever walks into their office.
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Heather Reply:
November 25th, 2011 at 7:14 pm Heather(Quote)
This.
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