Nov 162011

“Hold still.  It’s not that bad because there’s a lot of blood down here.  Well, either your baby already died or you were never pregnant in the first place.” – ER doctor to mother during pelvic exam, after the mother arrived in the ER for a suspected miscarriage.

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 November 16, 2011  Cervical exam, pregnancy loss  Add comments

  15 Responses to “"…Either Your Baby Already Died Or You Were Never Pregnant In The First Place."”

  1. I’m sorry OP that you were treated by such a heartless doc.

  2. oh my gosh, that is the most horrible thing to say to an expectant mom who might still have a baby inside.

  3. I never went to medical school, so as an unenlightened human being, I would have thought it was bad BECAUSE there was “a lot of blood down there.”

    And if a mom’s baby died *or* she thought she was pregnant for seven or so weeks and even convinced the doctor she was pregnant — either way, that’s very bad. So where this doctor gets off saying it’s “not that bad” because there’s blood — the whole thing makes no sense.

    Once I was treated in the ER by a doctor who was clearly on the tail end of a 36 hour shift. He was nearly asleep while stitching my hand, and the nurses were trying to get him to run down the hall to take care of a patient who was having a heart attack, but he just couldn’t prioritize and wanted to finish stitching my hand first. I wonder if this doctor wasn’t just babbling and sleepwalking because s/he had been working too long.

  4. at least the doctor referred to it as a baby.

  5. First of all, this doesn’t make any sense. Having a lot of blood isn’t a good thing!

    Second… and most important… why? Why would a doctor say this? This mother is fearing that she is losing (or has lost) her baby!!! How could anyone be so heartless as to say something like this?

    OP, I’m sorry. I’m just so, so sorry.

  6. I was in the ER with A.LOT.OF.BLOOD when I was 13 weeks pregnant. I would have hit someone who told me anything remotely related to this.

    In my case it was a cervical polyp that was causing the bleeding. The baby wasn’t dead, and I was definitely pregnant.

    Why do people say stuff like this? Can they not stop for 2 seconds and think before speaking.

    OP, I’m so very sorry you were spoken to like that.

  7. My sister went to the doctor with significant bleeding.

    Turns out to have been a clot behind the placenta. She’s nearly 20 weeks now.

  8. He said this after a speculum [without any lubrication], realising he hadn’t brought all his equipment with him, jerking it out and shoving another speculum inside with no warning, or lubrication, or warning. I was 19, newly married and suffering my first miscarriage.

    • Wow, what a lousy doctor! Apparently it was your fault that he didn’t get the right equipment and couldn’t figure out how to ask a nurse to get him what he did need. :-b

      I’m sorry for your loss.

  9. That’s terrible.
    I don’t know if that doctor has ever had an open wound, but blood really doesn’t lube that well.
    oh, and he’s a ****. Where do these people get off treating miscarriages like they mean nothing?
    Commiserations :(

  10. Ugh. How horrifically idiotic.

    Although I do understand that ER docs may well be overworked, overwhelmed, and have difficulty maintaining empathy, there has to be a line somewhere, and he crossed way, waaaaaaaay over it.

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