Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
15
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Baby Is Looking For The Nipple On Your Chest And It’s In Your Lap.”
“Oh no wonder you’re having trouble breastfeeding. Baby is looking for the nipple on your chest and it’s in your lap.” – Lactation consultant after asking the mother to remove her shirt and bra so that mother’s breasts could be evaluated.
There are 47 comments to this post.
Oh my effing gosh!!! Who SAYS that? I’d have put my clothes back on and walked out in tears.
Dear LC, just because you get to look at breasts in your job, it does NOT give you the right to make such inappropriate comments about them. You deserve to be smacked in the face with a breast.
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 9:02 am (Quote)
hahaha That’s great! Line up, ladies! This one is ready for some boob smacks!
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jaed Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 12:43 pm (Quote)
This one doesn’t deserve to be slapped with a boob. How about a wet fish instead? A halibut, perhaps.
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Nicci P Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 3:58 pm (Quote)
I’ve got boobs as big as my baby’s head which are 50% silicone and 45% milk so I imaging a boob slap would do some damage! Can I be 1st in line?
ps, before anybody jumps on me for having cosmetic surgery, please google “tuberous/tubular breast deformity” (google images especially) for why I went down that route.
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So the lactation consultant, who presumably has seen hundreds of breasts and should be familiar with normal variations of size, firmness and positioning, works with a mother who is having difficulty breastfeeding and tries to shame her about the size and shape of her breasts.
Have I got that straight? And as an aside is backhandedly saying the mother is too stupid to position the nipple near the baby’s mouth because the mother also doesn’t know where the milk ejects?
People who dislike women and breasts shouldn’t train as lactation support.
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I would have slapped her with my boob. Just saying. What a horrible thing to say to someone, especially to a mom who has just given birth. I remember feeling so self-conscious about my body after my daughter was born. That awful twat needs sensitivity-training.
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road2vba2c had this to say,
Nov 15, 2011 @ 8:04 am (Quote)
My feeling is that this LC knows perfectly well that babies nurse just fine from saggy breasts, that mom guides baby to the nipple (wherever it may be), and that this mom’s trouble has nothing to do with her breasts not being perky. What a major jerk.
I pretty much have nipples in my lap after 4 pregnancies (and being a bit saggy to begin with) and I can’t make nursing work in the traditional cradle position. I have to use cross-cradle or football. I just can’t get baby and nipple aligned properly using the cradle hold.
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I have severe ptosis and macromastia (my nipples are in my lap, biotch) and I have nursed two kiddos full-term to child-led weaning. Oh, AND my nipples are flat. It’s called the C-Hold. It would have been nice if someone had taught it to me rather than me having figured it out for myself and told me that it’s okay not to be able to nurse hands-free, that while it’s obnoxious, baby doesn’t care and life goes on.
And yeah, little hickeys on the shoulders/elbow/belly first thing in the morning pretty much attest to the fact that babies just latch on anywhere that’s close by XD
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 11:15 am (Quote)
I remember waking up one morning to my daughter attached to my breast, only it wasn’t the nipple. LOL She had the right idea, though. hahaha
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Heather Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 11:48 am (Quote)
lol, I’ve woke up like that before, too!
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So what happens when the baby is rooting for milk and finds my husband’s breast instead? Can I just assume that the poor baby doesn’t get it yet, and needs a little help getting to the source of nutrition? And that I need a little help getting baby to that point, which is WHY I’M TALKING TO YOU?
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Allison had this to say,
Nov 15, 2011 @ 2:56 pm (Quote)
Both my daughters have been fond of my cheeks. My current babe has given a lot of attention to the bumps on my collarbones while in various carriers. She also freaked out my husband by accurately matching on to his nipple through his shirt.
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Lizzie K Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 11:36 am (Quote)
My middle son did that to my husband a few times. The first time was a couple days after he was born. He was being fussy, nothing major, just wanted to be held and comforted, so my husband cuddled him so I could get a little sleep. They both fell asleep, as well. About an hour later DS woke up and was hungry so he goes for what was right in front of his mouth, DH’s nipple. Poor DH woke me up with a yell, then handed DS to me saying, “He’s all yours!” lol
DS got real good at finding mine because I tend to sleep heavily and he would just nuzzle around until he found it and got to town until his belly was full. I hated when I had to switch him to formula at 4 months due to my supply decreasing real bad when I got pregnant with his little brother.
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Nipple in Lap had this to say,
Nov 15, 2011 @ 4:30 pm (Quote)
So this is mine. I was already pretty self conscious because my breasts are ENORMOUS and I was having so much trouble, and had heard from so many different people that I shouldn’t be because my breasts were so big that I obviously should have enough milk. Then others told me they were TOO big and baby was scared of suffocating and on and on. You know the drill.
The only thing that compounded the shame of this was the fact that my husband related this story WORD FOR WORD to our best friends at the time who came over later in the day with their new baby. Top 3 awkward moments of my life.
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Aylene Reply:
November 17th, 2011 at 1:19 am (Quote)
Don’t you love supportive other halves? Mine keeps ridiculing my half-arsed attempt at a birth plan in conversations with others because I ended up having a C-section. They don’t go through all this ****…
That aside, I know the big breasts issue all too well. Best thing to do, no matter what LC’s say, is cupping your boob and holding the nipple over baby’s face as s/he lies in your lap. Or at least that worked for me … Good luck <3
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Lizzie K Reply:
November 20th, 2011 at 11:43 am (Quote)
I remember after my sister had her youngest her complaining that she had such a hard time breast feeding. Her exact words were, “I have these huge, usually useless, things and now that I have a use for them, they don’t want to work!”
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Lysana Reply:
December 2nd, 2011 at 1:46 pm (Quote)
Melek, sorry this nurse was so rude to you! That’s ridiculous, and totally said with the intention of shaming you. UGH!
And boo on your husband for repeating the story! Ahhhhhh…men, when they think something is funny – they will tell it over and over! I hope you can convince him!
Congrats on your newest little guy! 
I think I posted on WebMD with you while you were expecting your first little one.
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I’m sorry for laughing OP, but as a woman with enormously huge breasts too, I just couldn’t help it. Hehe. Mind you, I accept my body for how it is but can also understand the sensitivity around that issue. I dealt with that myself for quite a few years.
As for breast feeding, I found that doing the football hold really helped. So that even though my boobs were in my lap, my son could still feed.
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Unlike you, babies have no preconceived notions of what breasts are “supposed” to look like. One of my kids tried latching onto a mole that I have on my shoulder-blade once.
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Rebecca Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 5:00 am Rebecca(Quote)
I’m a stomach sleeper, and my daughter was convinced through our whole breastfeeding relationship (nearly two years) that there must be a way to the milk from the back. Maybe the elbow.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 7:11 am The Deranged Housewife(Quote)
Awww, Rebecca! That’s so cute.
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Jane Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 5:09 am Jane(Quote)
It’s always a bit of a stumper to wake up in the morning and find a tiny hickey on your upper arm.
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Katy Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 8:33 am Katy(Quote)
My little guy is quite fascinated by my bellybutton….
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Renai Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 9:15 am Renai(Quote)
So is my 10-month old daughter! It’s so hilarious…
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Rachel K Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 9:35 am Rachel K(Quote)
DS went through a phase where he kept latching onto my mother’s chin. (Oddly enough, he very rarely latched onto MY chin, but every time my mom held him, he’d go for her chin like a heat-seeking missile.) I guess chins are vaguely boob-shaped.
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Kristy Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 9:47 am Kristy(Quote)
I’ve had two or three of my kiddos who went through a chin phase.
It was generally mine they went after though… and with my youngest (12 months now) I think it is more of a joke. He always laughs and seemed to know from the start that this wasn’t going anywhere.
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Kim Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 11:06 am Kim(Quote)
DH and I switched sides on our bed one night and around 2am he found our 9 month old lifting up his shirt and trying to latch onto his nipples! That’s what’ve gets for wanting to sleep closer to the bathroom…
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Liz Reply:
November 15th, 2011 at 1:31 pm Liz(Quote)
I woke up in the middle of the night once to hot breath on my cheek. DS was poised above my face, mouth open, getting ready to latch on to my nose.
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Katherine Reply:
November 16th, 2011 at 7:27 am Katherine(Quote)
Liz, I just spit out my water and almost woke up my LO (sleeping in my lap) laughing so hard. Seriously ROTFLMAO
A couple times, when I put LO on my shoulder so I can unhook my bra, he’s dived at my face. Latched on to my nose, my lower lip (OUCH) and my cheek. Sheesh lol
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Ellen Reply:
November 18th, 2011 at 12:19 am Ellen(Quote)
My firstborn regularly tried to latch on to my nose.
I love one of the photos so much I use it as my userpic on various birth sites.
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