Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
11
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“How Long Were You Planning On Letting *THAT* Continue?”
“How long were you planning on letting *THAT* continue?” -Family Doctor at child’s 12 month checkup when mother stated she was still was still breastfeeding.
There are 41 comments to this post.
“Gee, Doctor, let’s check the World Health Organization guidelines and the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines! Surely you’d like me to follow best-practices as regards feeding my child, right? Why don’t you go look them up and print them out on that computer over there, and I’ll wait right here. I’m in no rush.”
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Liz had this to say,
Nov 11, 2011 @ 2:50 pm (Quote)
WIC, a government program encourages women to breastfeed their babies for at least a year. Even they know that it is cheaper and healthier than formula.
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ashley bean Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 3:21 pm (Quote)
that says something when even a gov’t program gets in right. Maybe this dr should take a hint. I’m so glad to have had a pediatrician that understood and was supportive of breastfeeding =]
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Paula Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 5:43 pm (Quote)
They didn’t seem as supportive when that one year was up for me. It was like a pat on the back every month, and then nothing. I was kind of bummed.
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road2vba2c Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 10:31 am (Quote)
I was always treated like I was cheating the system when I “claimed” my child was EBF. “*NO* formula? None at all?! Not even a bottle at bedtime?!?!” SMH!
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Allison had this to say,
Nov 11, 2011 @ 3:52 pm (Quote)
Well WHO says 2 years and as long as mutually desired thereafter. Come to think of it the AAP also has the mutually desired clause. I weaned my first at 3.5, so who knows.
Or… I could start adding time for every idiotic comment like that I receive. Maybe the kid will never wean.
Oh, not what you were going for? Oops, your bad.
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What don’t these doctors (and many people in general) get the AT LEAST part in the for at least a year the AAP’s recommendation?
3.5+ years and counting for us, and very excited to start over with #2!
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My wife & I heard this yesterday from our doctor (should I say ex-doctor).
Our 20-month old is small – 23 pounds. When they came in to tell us the results (they said 5th percentile in weight) it was like they were breaking the news that we had cancer!
I said, Oh we know she’s small according to your charts. But she’s closer to the 30th percentile if you look at EBF growth charts. They gave me a blank stare like they’d never heard of this before. Obviously they don’t read their own journals (we got it from the AAP – American Academy of Pediatrics Journal).
Furthermore, my wife was a small baby (she is super strong and was a competitive swimmer in college), and I was barely 22 pounds at 2 years (I am now 6’1″, 200 pounds, NCAA athlete).
The doctor called in a supervisor AND a hospital administrator because we were being “difficult”.
I had no idea what was going on, but in retrospect I think they were just appalled at the idea that we reject Enfamil.
I asked them if there were ANY symptoms whatsoever of developmental problems, malnutrition, immune problems, etc. In fact they had to admit she was off the charts in every other developmental milestone (she know well over 200 words; she can run, catch, throw & jump; she brushes her own teeth and puts on her own clothes & shoes; etc).
In fact she’s never been sick, not even a single sniffle. They asked if she’d ever had a urinary tract infection, ear infection, flue … I said no, and they basically accused me of lying. (She sneered and said, well I’ve never heard of *that* before).
THEN they called in a nutritionist to talk to us, who asked if we thought we needed other forms of help or intervention, such as someone from family services.
They kept us there for 2 hours, grilling us… and I was deeply fearful that they were considering not letting us leave with our child!!!
I had even brought in the books that we were reading for dietary advice – La Leche League, Feeding Baby Green, Raising Baby Green, Eat to Live by Dr. Mark Furman – all of which are fairly mainstream doctors.
They treated us like we were freaks. I am NEVER going back to a mainstream doctor. This was traumatic for all of us.
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Rachel Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 9:47 pm (Quote)
That’s insane and I would have been nervous as well! My daughter is also tiny (23 pounds at 2 years) and in the 5th percentile. She’s been there almost every visit for over a year. Our pediatrician has never batted an eye. Every kid is different and someone’s always got to be at the top and at the bottom of the curve (trust me, I know. My son is 97% for weight!). As long as your baby is healthy and gaining at every appointment, that’s the important part. And clearly she’s excelling in all areas of development so this is not an issue of failure to thrive. Sorry that you had such a terrible experience!
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Kristy Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 11:28 pm (Quote)
Just by means of support… I have a 28 pound *4 1/2 yr old*. He hasn’t been on the charts in forever. WIC is freaking out. 
Fortunately my doctor is just *beginning* to even consider this even a *potential* concern. (Since my son is otherwise healthy and growing well in height even though he has not recently gained any weight.) He just last month recommended seeing an endocrinologist *strictly as a precaution*… no freaking out or rushing us off somewhere. The appointment he set up is not till January. Doc says he still believes this is simply genetics (hubby’s grandfather was very small even as an adult).
His older sister was the same way at his age to a somewhat lesser degree. (A bit closer to your daughter’s numbers) She’s now 7 1/2 yrs and still very healthy… only *slightly* smaller than average for her age. With her I was constantly told it was because I was nursing her ‘too much’ (she nursed till 3 1/2) by WIC.
WIC seems to think I’m neglecting my son outright. They constantly ask me if he eats, what I feed him… they quiz me on general safety information for kids as if they are convinced I have no clue what I am doing as a parent. They have known we since my oldest child (out of five, who is now 14) was two years old… it is insane. I can’t imagine how they would be treating me if I was a first time parent that none of the nurses knew.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 4:27 pm (Quote)
Ugh, this crap is why I quit WIC after only a couple of months. I didn’t even *need* the coupons, but everyone in my family pressured me and acted like I was being a negligent parent if I didn’t accept help from this “wonderful” government program. (I don’t know if it’s this way in every state, but here there are no income requirements to get WIC. If you are pregnant or have kids under 5, you qualify.)
To me, it seemed like the whole thing was a way to trick parents to come in to be treated like idiots and scrutinized for the slightest flaw. I just was not prepared to be forced to regularly present my children for inspection (especially after they called my perfectly healthy 3yo fat and told me to put him on a diet!*) and sit through condescending videos about how to eat healthy like my ancestors in Mexico (I’m Irish) just so I could save money on milk (and then throw away the coupons for sugary cereal, infant formula, and 12 pounds of cheese).
* I never put my son on any kind of diet, and now he’s a healthy 9yo who couldn’t even remotely be called fat.
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JessicaKC Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 6:57 am (Quote)
That is horrendous. I would have been terrified as well. It is so scary how much power they have and how much opinions vary from Dr to Dr.
That being said, I have a 24 lb 7 month old. I am kinda jealous.
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Details Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 5:19 pm (Quote)
First off they should have been looking at her growth compared to her last visit. So the chart is irrelavant. But 20 month olds aren’t even supposed to be on formula. They are supposed to switch to regular milk after their 1st birthday. Wes you should be reporting these doctors to somebody. Not sure who. Maybe start with La Leche League.
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Wes Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 11:09 pm (Quote)
I’ll add, first, that this is the largest pediatric clinic in our city (a major metropolitan area).
Also, they weren’t recommending formula, but Enfamil supplements. I don’t know if it was liquid or solids or what – I’m simply not familiar with these products they were telling us to buy.
My wife is active with La Leche (as well as a certified natural birthing coach), and they know these things go on. Of course, none of the doctors bothered asking us *anything* about our background or training. Come to mention it, they never even asked what we do for a living, or expressed the slightest interest in us as people.
In fact, the doctors didn’t even said hello to my daughter, no smiles, nothing. My daughter smiled at *every* single staff person – a couple of the nurses commented on how alert and friendly she was (one of them accidentally let it slip that she looks very healthy and happy). And none of the rooms had any child-friendly chairs, no books or toys, etc. Everything about it was cold and awful.
Thanks so much for the supporting comments!!!
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Hyphen Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 8:47 pm (Quote)
We went through something similar with our twins. We saw a military ped at the time who wanted to diagnose them with Failure to Thrive at a year old (10 months adjusted since they were born 2 months premature) because they were 15 and 16 lbs. I pointed out that my husband and I are both petite (I’m 5’1″ and my husband is 5’8 and was VERY slender until he hit 30 and evened out). I also pointed out that I was 18 lbs at 12 months and I was born 3 weeks past my due date. The doctor told us none of that had anything to do with our kids’ sizes. *head desk*
They were always very breastfeeding unfriendly. They tried to force us to supplement early on. My husband worried he’d be ordered to supplement (he was active duty military and the doctors out-ranked him). It terrified us.
We were in a similar boat, the kids were never sick, breastfed into toddlerhood, not too far off developmentally (remember, they were preemies) and on-track or advanced in some areas.
That turned us off to well visits completely. We stopped after their second birthday and we’ve never done them with the others. I completely understand what you mean by it being traumatic.
Our twins are 9 and 1/2 now and they’re still slender, but they’re average for height. They’re right at the 50th percentile (I measure them myself and check every once in a while when I get curious).
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This doctor seemed great at first, intact-friendly and everything. But this was at the end of a conversation about how bad it was that our son still wasn’t sleeping through the night. He also kept asking how much formula we were giving him too So we fired him and we’re seeing a new doctor next time!
14 months nursing and going strong, even starting to research tandem breastfeeding for when we start on the next baby!
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Sarah Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 8:03 pm (Quote)
I’m sorry It’s hard to find a Dr who agrees with you on stuff. We lucked out with ours, she’s always encouraging me to keep nursing my 22 month old. I wish I could share her with everyone!
She’s also intact friendly AND homebirth friendly!
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NMal Reply:
November 11th, 2011 at 9:55 pm (Quote)
On the whole sttn thing: Did you bring it up, or did he?
I have a pretty mainstream pediatrician. I think she knows “what’s what” enough that she probably knows we cosleep, nurse at night, etc. She has made a few comments that make me suspect that, if I brought up “sleep issues,” she’d tell me something along the lines of, “put the baby/toddler alone in her crib, and let her figure out how to get to sleep alone.” Whether that means some form of CIO, or, you know, “pat her but don’t pick her up,” or whatever.
The thing is, we have a weird “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy around the whole sleep thing. She writes in her chart the total number of hours of nighttime and naptime sleep, and then just leaves it alone.
I’m terrified of something like Wes’s situation, above– where some doctor or nurse will attempt to take my kids away because they disagree with my parenting style. So, I’ve felt really lucky that our pediatrician, who probably doesn’t agree with us, is at least willing to “live and let live.” It’s so sad that, “hey, I found a doctor who I’m not afraid will call CPS as a power-play” is about as good as I can imagine!
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Details Reply:
November 12th, 2011 at 5:23 pm (Quote)
I find/found it was best not to discuss parenting issues with doctors. Sleeping is a parenting issue. Remember these doctors really don’t even parent their own children, either their wife/husband does it or they have a nanny. They aren’t experts. Their opinion doesn’t count.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 13th, 2011 at 4:48 am (Quote)
Being a professional does not mean you’re not parenting your kids. I might work full-time but guess who’s the one who’s gotten up with my son since he was born? Not my husband or a nanny. I might parent in a different capacity, but I still parent.
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Michelle Potter Reply:
December 19th, 2011 at 4:08 pm (Quote)
This is a somewhat judgmental and presumptive comment. What on earth makes you think that doctors don’t parent their own kids? Because they have to go to work every day?
I’m a SAHM, and my husband works full time over an hour from home. He’s still very involved in parenting our children. He is very knowledgeable about parenting, and is involved in all decisions involving our kids. He spends all of his free time with our children, even letting me sleep in on both Saturday AND Sunday EVERY WEEKEND! And his opinion DEFINITELY counts.
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I like the way my kids pediatrician stated it at the last 12 month checkup: “She can have boob for as long as she wants! There is no expiration date on those!” (My daughter and I were refering to nursing as ‘boob’ btw, he wasn’t being weird, he was just using our terminology)
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Jespren had this to say,
Nov 12, 2011 @ 8:12 pm (Quote)
(Both my kids are 90+ so no personal experience with this) Wanted to put our there my best friend when I was little was a tiny pixie of a girl who weighed under 30lbs in 1st grade and wore a size 4 toddler’s shoe. She was perfectly healthy, just little!
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Amber had this to say,
Nov 12, 2011 @ 11:04 pm (Quote)
Posts like this remind me to thank my lucky stars that, after a few very false starts, we found an amazing pediatrician. Even our WIC office is great; my son is still nursing at two years old, but at the one year mark, they gave us a nursing certificate. On the other hand, our first pediatrician said he would starve if we did not suppliment. ;\
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WIC is CONSTANTLY on us. My four year old is barely 35 pounds and his two year old brother is around 22-23 pounds. They don’t eat McDonalds often (it is an occasional treat and they share a kids meal.. more a snack then a meal for them), they did BLW, the baby is still nursing, they didn’t TOUCH the baby food or the baby cereal WIC gave us. At baby’s one year appt the dr told me I needed to start giving him an 8 oz cup of milk a day because I “probably wasn’t making milk anymore anyway”… I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badly wanted to “whip” one out and squirt him to show him that I was too still making milk! WIC also DEMANDS that I give him whole milk at least once a day for “brain development”… cause of course my breastmilk wouldn’t provide that.. he HAS to have COW milk to get the necessary fats… maybe that’s why the cavemen didn’t advance as far as they could.. they didn’t get cow milk, only breastmilk.. Poor cavemen.. we could be SO much further advanced right now if someone would have just thought to drink cow milk sooner!!! He drinks milk sometimes but not often. He still prefers breastmilk. He has cow milk on his cereal and a cup of it every few days when he sees someone else drinking some. WIC refuses to take him off high risk. We have stopped going to well baby check ups because I am tired of listening to the dr… and we are out of options to change to a new one lol. We have gone through four peds in the four years we have been using peds in this state! Not many peds take our insurance so we are out of ideas TOTALLY SUCKS!
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Well there is a pretty good university nearby so no end date in sight really why do you ask?
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