Nov 10

Thoughtful Thursday! “Perfect, Perfect, Perfect…”

“Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything looks perfect. You are doing a great job growing this baby.” – Ultrasound tech during second trimester ultrasound.

Dislike these words.

There are 11 comments to this post.

Cat had this to say, Nov 10, 2011 @ 10:36 am (Quote)

I don’t understand why this one made the cut.

When I went in for my 20-week ultrasound, the tech discovered a spot they couldn’t identify and now I need a level 2 ultrasound with a perinatologist. This contribution makes it sound like I am NOT doing a good job growing my baby.

Thanks, MOSW, thanks.

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laurel Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 11:07 am laurel(Quote)

… just because someone heard this comment and had a great ultrasound doesn’t mean you are failing because you didn’t have a “perfect” ultrasound.

It was about this mother and her pregnancy and someone making a positive comment about her baby. It’s not a direct comparison to you.

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Suzanne Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 11:33 am Suzanne(Quote)

Cat, I fully agree with you. These kind of comments drive me nuts.

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Tee Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 12:09 pm Tee(Quote)

Cat, I’m sorry that this entry upset you. I think this one was accepted because the sonogram tech complimented the mother and that doesn’t happen very often in the medical field. I don’t see this as being any different than an entry where the doctor told the mother she was doing a great job pushing.

Please try not to allow this entry to reflect on how you feel about your own pregnancy. It’s two totally separate things. My fear is that the OP will come along now and see your comment and maybe she will feel bad for having submitted her Thoughtful Thursday. I don’t want to see that happen.

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Selia Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 1:13 pm Selia(Quote)

Yes, I think this wasn’t at all suggesting that if things weren’t perfect it would be the mother’s fault. It came across to me as “You are working to have a healthy baby and you have one.” As in the mother isn’t smoking or eating a poor diet which can be reflected in an abnormally sized baby or other ways. But, having an abnormality doesn’t mean the mom did something wrong. We shouldn’t have to avoid compliments about a mother’s efforts because a small percent of moms do everything right and something still goes wrong. I am sorry for your distress and hope everything turns our healthy for you and your baby.

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Karen Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 1:46 pm Karen(Quote)

You know, I thought the same thing and I had a healthy pregnancy so it’s not like I’m taking it personally. It just seems like most of the time, there really is nothing you can do to control the outcome of a pregnancy. Miscarriage isn’t anyone’s fault, nor is preterm labor or a birth defect (FAS and the like excluded, of course).

I hope everything is well with your baby.

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first time mommy had this to say, Nov 10, 2011 @ 1:21 pm (Quote)

It made the mother feel good and that’s what’s important here.
Too often it’s “You’re doing ABC wrong and therefore XYZ will happen!”

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Isella Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 9:32 pm Isella(Quote)

This. It’s much too often we hear of horrible ultrasound techs saying astonishingly rude, idiotic, or insensitive things to mamas out there. It’s refreshing to see something positive like this being said instead!

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Liss had this to say, Nov 11, 2011 @ 5:07 am (Quote)

Okay, this one really is mine, I promise (not like the previous entry which sounded like mine but was really Eliza’s. Whoops & embarassing.) Sometimes the full story gets edited so much that it renders the quote almost unrecognizable, or even hurtful to some people. I am truly sorry for that. The full story is that “everything looks perfect” was in reference to “there is nothing here on the u/s to prevent you from having the home birth you want” and “you are doing a great job” was in reference to a discussion we had about my nutrition, rest, exercise and attitude. I was overweight, uninsured, and planning a home birth with midwives, so to hear these things from someone at a inner-city pregnancy clinic was a delightful surprise, and that’s why I wanted to share my experience on MOBSW. You never know where you are going to find somebody who believes in women and birth.

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