Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“This Is Just Your Thing, Huh?”
“This is just your thing, huh?” – OB to mother being seen for her second miscarriage in a row.
Yes, OP, you poor thing. What a burden to bear. 2 Cor 12:7-10
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I have had 15 miscarriages and I have had similar things said to me by doctors and just people in general. It’s not helpful and it’s not nice! I am sorry that you had this said to you OP. It’s hurtful and rude.
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Excuse Me! And just exactly what did you mean by that? *Stares and waits*
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Darsy Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 9:57 am (Quote)
I’m a big fan of just saying stuff like ‘how DARE you?’ when people say insensitive or rude things to me in public/professional settings. I think it’s a great reality check, if one can get over their shock or anger and say it, which is hard enough in itself!
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He also had several other comments! That was the first thing he said when he walked in. He followed that up with some comments like, “You have a 2 year old? And you wanted to do this again? Really?” and “You are 29? You are not THAT old yet so don’t worry about it” and “You know, things like this just happen, so we’ll see you later”. If I were not bleeding and in so much pain from cramping I would have jumped off the table and strangled him!!!
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Darsy Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 9:56 am (Quote)
I’m so sorry you had to go through this
I’ve also lost two, and I think what the doctors don’t understand sometimes is that each incident DOESN’T feel isolated to the person it’s happening to! I was just simply terrified that the second pregnancy would be lost, more so since I’d lost the first one! I was the most worried that it would be ‘my thing,’ and hearing it said offhand like that would have just destroyed me. *hugs*
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Jennifer Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 10:09 am (Quote)
I am so sorry you had to go through this with such an insensitive doctor. I had something similar said to me after my miscarriage. I switched practices after that.
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Sodayah Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 10:15 am (Quote)
I’m so sorry for you losses. My partner and I also suffered 2 m/c back to back and the dr. didn’t see a problem with that since I was only 29 and had plenty of time to have kids. It doesn’t make it any easier to have them regardless of age and when I did actually get pregnant again I found that both my husband and I were really paranoid about it and petrified we would loose it again. just after my 30th b-day we got another BFP and we are 25 weeks yesterday. Try to stay positive you have one child already so you know your body can get and stay pregnant, I found just relaxing about it and enjoying the process helped us greatly in fact we decided to give up trying and that’s when we got our BFP. *hugs*
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Jane Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 10:55 am (Quote)
Wow. I’m so sorry your doctor thought insensitive remarks were *his thing*…
Sounds like a doctor suffering from burnout who’d rather blame the patient than admit he couldn’t do a darned thing to help you. I’m so sorry your loss was made worse by this guy.
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Heather Cooper Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 11:15 am (Quote)
I was actually out of town when I started to lose the baby, so this was NOT my regular provider. I would NEVER go to someone who treats a patient like that!
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Jane Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 11:45 am (Quote)
I’m so glad that wasn’t your regular doctor. Too often we find out during crisis that our doctor *is* the kind of person who treats a patient like that. I’m glad your regular doctor was more compassionate.
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Sigrid Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 12:08 pm (Quote)
So sorry, Heather. I just had my second miscarriage last week… it was less than 4 months since the first one. I told a coworker (a nurse) about it and she said “Are you even allowed to get pregnant yet?” with such a judgmental tone that I was entirely shocked. How can people say ANYTHING except “I’m so sorry.” It really stinks to be in the multiple miscarriage club!
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Lisa in Texas Reply:
November 10th, 2011 at 1:09 pm (Quote)
“Allowed”??? I can’t stand that word in relation to anything to do with pregnancy.
I’m so sorry for your miscarriages. My heart breaks for you.
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Oh. My. GOSH.
I would have immediately burst into tears. I’m so sorry.
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