Next time, keep your opinions to yourself until asked for them.

What if this OB’s wife said those same words to him on night? ‘not tonight dear, just keep it in your pants’

My first three all had a 2.5 year gap between them and the Dr. asked me if we didn’t ever watch TV. I didn’t even think I had them that close together.

Ugh. Because babies that close together couldn’t POSSIBLY be planned!

I have been seen for kidney stones twice during this pregnancy, both by family medicine doctors who I will never see again (likely, anyway). The first time I went in, the doctor inquired about how old my other two children are, and when I told him that my next oldest baby and this baby will be about 20 months apart, he said something to the effect of, “So then that begs the question as to whether you’ve considered birth control for after this baby is born?”

I was so shocked by the insinuation of that question that I couldn’t have come up with an appropriately inappropriate response if I’d wanted to (it’s not my style anyway, but still).

But it’s not as much fun that way!
Seriously, though, my decision on how often to procreate is not your business, doc. Your business is to make sure my pregnancy and birth are safe and healthy, not spaced to your satisfaction.

Dear Doctor,

If the mother is unhappy to be pregnant again so soon then it is acceptable to discuss birth control (all forms not just hormonal or Rx required) If she has not expressed disappointment then ZIP IT! And no it is not accpetable to say, “Next time you should swallow.” “Why don’t you put a TV in your room?” or even “You weaned at 5 months didn’t you?” Assume that married couples have sex and assume that she is most likely to be in the mood when she is fertile! Your job is to offer not to order. Watch your manners. Your consent is not required.

Thanks so much,
Husbands and Wives everywhere

Dear Doctor,

If you’re concerned about your health, then you should be saying that you are concerned about her health if she continues spacing babies so close together, and that you are ready to discuss it further if she wishes to.

After that, or other than that, zip it. There is no need to comment on her sex life itself.

And for all you know, she may very well have chosen this spacing deliberately, thanks. Even if she didn’t, and even if she might wish to space the next one more, THIS little gem is NOT helpful or appropriate. Ever.

Thanks, but no thanks,
Pretty Much Everyone

AAAAHHHHHH really? Really?

When my midwife did figured out my possible conception date for Baby 2 she thought it was neat that he was conceived really close to Baby 1′s first birthday…nothing else was said except “That’s neat.”

Argh! What business is it of yours, other than YOUR business is to take care of me and my baby and not my personal life! Shut up and do your job right so I don’t switch care and you end up not paid!

Why is it so unbelievable that some families want their children very close in age?

“Tell who to keep what in his pants?” is what I’d say, all doe-eyed and innocent. I wonder what s/he’d say to that?

I watched a movie where a man was saying to his neighbor that his wife had gone into labor the previous night. “This is your 9th, right?” The neighbor said. “Ha! Tenth!” the father said. “Wow,” said the neighbor, “You must really love your wife!”

“Oh, he should keep his wallet in his pants? You’ll be delivering this baby for free — AWESOME! You’re such a generous doctor, so supportive of your patients! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was almost thinking you were going to say something nasty to me about having a baby so soon, and then it turns out you’re offering prenatal care for free! You rock, doctor!”

‘we’ll keeping it in his pants won’t have much use next time since I’m pregnant anyway…’

“Ohhhhh… I see. In your world, pregnancy is what happens when women are either too stupid to use birth control correctly or to tell their partners ‘No.’ Since a woman couldn’t possibly have chosen to get pregnant– nor could she have been the sexual aggressor who ‘couldn’t keep it in her pants.’ And because it’s a woman’s responsibility to control a man’s raging sexual appetites– I mean, the poor things can’t be expected to control themselves! Funny. I prefer my world, in which my doctor doesn’t make crude comments about his/her patients’ sex lives. Oh, look! You’re fired. Welcome to my world.”

Because YOU’RE the one bearing and raising these children…

RUDE!!!

Besides all the inappropriateness of the comment… Doctor, it takes two to tango.

My personal fav is when people ask me “You know how this happens, right?” Because then I get to smile wickedly and say “oh yeah, and I enjoyed every minute of it!” while moving my eyebrows up and down. Makes people delightfully uncomfortable.

Ha!

You need to worry more about me. I have no problems pulling things out of his pants.

I like being intimate with my husband just as much as he likes being with me.

Fourteen months apart isn’t even that close, though I realize not everyone would agree. My mom and her brother are 11 months apart, and are #6 and 7 in the family. And whenever I hear about babies “too close”, I think of the family who lived in my neighborhood. They had a 17 month old, a 7 month old, and a critically ill micro-preemie. Now that’s close. (But still not worthy of inappropriate comments.)

This comment would be followed by me finding a new doctor or midwife asap, and one who was much more respectful!

Well we tried keeping it in his pants but, gosh darn it doc, I just couldnt get pregnant!

I actually got the “you ever try BC?” statement. I said the same thing, “we tried that but it’s really hard to get pregnant on it”

My favorite iteration on this theme is, “If you think TV is better than sex, you’re doing it wrong!”

JLW, we also have 4 in seven years! I don’t even think a 2.5 year spacing is that short, really.

My husband has a fraternal twin brother and a brother ten months older than him and his twin. I sometimes wonder what people said to my mother-in-law, but I’ve never asked.