Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
6
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…There Are So Many Babies Here That I just Can’t Keep Them Straight…”
“Oh I forgot! I’m sorry, there are so many babies here that I just can’t keep them straight sometimes.” – L&D nurse to mother after she started going over the informed consent form and post-procedure care for circumcision. The mother had already stated that she was not circumcising her son.
There are 68 comments to this post.
Erica Douglas had this to say,
Nov 6, 2011 @ 4:34 am (Quote)
You know, in the nurse’s defense, she DOES see a lot of babies and it makes sense that she wouldn’t remember specifics about each one. That’s why there are notes in the patients’ charts, so nurses and doctors can remember details for everyone. Yes, the nurse should have reviewed the chart, but, like any job, you get into a routine. It’s why McDonald’s puts stickers on my cheeseeburger without onions because the standard routine includes onions! I’m glad the nurse included the words “I’m sorry.”
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 4:43 am (Quote)
If reading the patient’s chart isn’t already part of her routine, I’m scared for her patients. This is how hospital mishaps happen and an “I’m sorry” wouldn’t cut it for me if my son ended up with unnecessary, irreversible and unwanted surgery because she was just “so busy” and “going through her routine.”
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Wendy Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 5:06 am (Quote)
Respectfully, the patient’s chart *IS* that no-onion sticker.
It would get far to complicated for hospital staff to slap a bunch of stickers on each patient’s manilla folder–no circ, no hep b vax, no bottles or pacifiers, prefers twinkle lights…
The very fact that hospitals are using machinery (e.g. routine electronic fetal monitoring) to replace staff, and that they’re overworking existing staff to the extent that they can’t take 10 minutes to peruse a patient charts, is all a sad, sad statement against our health care system.
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Knitted in the Womb Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 8:04 pm (Quote)
To be fair…the chart for a labor & birth can be MANY pages long by the time it is all said and done. Depending on when the conversation about circ was had, it could have been several pages back on the notes, and the nurse really can’t be expected to review the whole chart each time before she goes into the room.
That said…nurses should be ABSOLUTELY certain of the patient wishes before prepping a baby for circ.
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jenni Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 5:11 pm (Quote)
Getting ready for discharge with my son, the nurses panicked at 11 am…. i was leaving at noon when my DH went on lunch at work… because they realized he had not been circ’ed! and when they suddenly showed up with consent forms… i had to calm them all down because we were choosing not to circ. At this hospital they require you to pre-register and fill out a bunch of stuff before you’re ALLOWED to have a baby there, so they already had it in writing, in my chart, that we would not be circ’ing. DUH moment!
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While I’m glad to see the “I’m sorry” part–that would have terrified me, that they couldn’t keep it straight that I didn’t want my son to have an elective surgical procedure O_O I already don’t let my babies out of sight in the hospital, I’d have been doubly concerned!
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I can see this happening, and I don’t see a big problem with it. Verbally saying at some point that you don’t want a circumcision for your son is different than turning down the consent form. It possibly wasn’t in the chart yet since it hadn’t been “officially” declined. When my son was born, a nurse came into our room and actually started to roll his bassinet out of the room to take him for the procedure, when I had not signed a consent form. She dismissed it as “well, he’s on my list.” I also have a friend that works in a NICU at another hospital, and she says they check for consent forms, and if they aren’t there sometimes lazy nurses will have the mother sign them AFTER the procedure is done. I don’t know how they’ve not had a lawsuit yet…
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Jena Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:52 am (Quote)
That’s crazy. My husband and I agreed that if we have a boy, we don’t want him circumcised, and I find it frightening that some nurses assume that all parents will opt for this procedure. But I don’t really have a big problem with what this nurse said, as long as the procedure hadn’t already been done. Everyone has their brain fart moments; my first thought was, “Yeah, if I were a nurse, I could see myself having to say something like that at some point.”
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Amy Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 10:25 am (Quote)
This makes me ill literally I am nauseated right now. Both my boys were born at home, and my daughter was born at a hospital that does not do routine infant circ at all for anyone. It should NEVER be standard procedure to circ, ever. Especially in this day and age where it is no longer the norm overall in the US. This is medical negligence of the first order.
It is also completely culturally insensitive. There are religions that practice circumcision and a routine infant circ in the hospital would NOT be in accordance with these beliefs.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Nov 6, 2011 @ 6:06 am (Quote)
That’s why there should be like BIG BRIGHT stickers on baby boys’ bassinets indicating NO CIRCUMCISION.
While it’s thankful this happened before, next time might not be 
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Jade Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 6:55 am (Quote)
This would be impractical in Australia, our circ rate is so low it would be far far easier to put stickers on the ones who were getting it done, and even then, I don’t know of any baby boys who ahve been circed before they left hospital, all have been done when the babies were at least 6 weeks old.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 7:43 am (Quote)
A lot of people who do it for religious reasons, have it done when baby is 3 days old… but then, it would typically be done by a mohel, not a plastic surgeon or OB.
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Jade S. Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 7:58 am (Quote)
It’s actually on day 8.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 8:50 am (Quote)
I remembered right after I posted — oops, ethnic awareness fail Maybe it’s Seventh Day Adventists? I know I’ve heard of circumcision on the third day before but cannot for the life of me remember where!
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Cleo7027 Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 8:07 am (Quote)
Actually it would be on the 8th day for a mohel 
I had to look into it as my husband is Jewish. I read that some mohels will actually put their mouth on it. I did not feel right doing it so we didn’t. It helped that my husband remembers seeing his youngest brothers done over the dining room table and I think it may have scarred him.
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:48 am (Quote)
“….some mohels will actually put their mouth on it.”
Um, ew!
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Tee Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 12:50 pm (Quote)
What’s the reasoning behind them putting their mouths on it? I understand religious/cultural rituals but that seems pretty disturbing to me.
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 1:46 pm (Quote)
(Reposting) Under strict Jewish law some blood must be “let” during the process (probably originally to ensure that the wound was flushed). MOST do it by hand expression or use a pippett, but a very few Orthodox mohels use their mouths. The practice is known as metzitzah b’peh and it’s banned by most rabbinical courts, from what I understand.
It’s just a matter of holding over ancient practices that no longer have modern significance for the sake of tradition.
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Tee Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 2:40 pm (Quote)
Huh, that’s interesting. I can’t say I approve but I do understand how deeply rooted religious and cultural traditions are. I’m old order Mennonite and the plain community has it’s own fair number of those traditions! Thanks for the information!
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Rebecca Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 8:29 pm (Quote)
Putting their mouth on it is not very common. Only a few communities still do it. I didn’t even know about the custom until a few years ago, and I’m in my thirties. I have never ever seen it done.
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Lisa Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:46 pm (Quote)
It’s also a good way to spread disease. There’ve been a few newborns who died because of the practice just in the last couple years
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cee Reply:
November 24th, 2011 at 5:38 am (Quote)
Actually the mouth thing does not bother me (not that I approve of circ. in general. To me it is like putting your mouth on a cut on your finger. It helps ease the pain and the acidity of the saliva can kill bacteria (not viruses though, I had not heard about the std transmissions!)
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This would have been even better if the OP’s baby was a girl!
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Liss Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 3:37 pm (Quote)
I’m female, and when I was two days old my pediatrician informed my mother that he had just circumcised her “healthy baby boy”. Yikes. This has become one of those “funny family stories” because “of course we don’t circumcise girls!” I wish my family had that attitude about circumcision, period.
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Heidi had this to say,
Nov 6, 2011 @ 8:36 am (Quote)
I had a nurse with the same problem, except she actually brought me somebody else’s BABY to nurse at 3 a.m. He actually looked a bit *like* my baby, but was about 3 pounds lighter and was screaming persistently, which my baby had not done.
Fortunately, the mistake was spotted before I nursed him!
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:46 am (Quote)
Oh my GOD! How heartbreaking! I recently read a story of two young girls who were switched in the hospital and found out as teens. It actually almost broke up a marriage because he thought his wife cheated, as the child looked nothing like him or the mother.
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Jane Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:48 am (Quote)
I remember a story from about ten years back where the couple was divorcing and the husband insisted on a paternity test. It came back as him not the father, and the mother cried foul, but then it turned out she wasn’t the mother either.
I can’t imagine the confusion and heartbreak in circumstances like that.
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 10:31 am (Quote)
They never got divorced after that, did they? You’d think that would be sue-worthy for emotional distress.
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Jane Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 11:12 am (Quote)
No, they were in the process of divorcing because they were divorcing. The husband didn’t want to pay child support and claimed the daughter wasn’t his. When they did DNA testing because he was contesting paternity, that’s when they discovered that the mother wasn’t the mother either.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Nov 6, 2011 @ 10:05 am (Quote)
I read that some mohels will actually put their mouth on it.
WHAT?! Isn’t that sexual abuse?! Ewwww!
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Sandy Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 10:14 am (Quote)
Well so is cutting a child’s genitals….
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first time mommy Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 5:02 pm (Quote)
I agree. That’s why my DS is NOT circ’d despite DH’s pleas – he got circ’d as an adult due to an infection and just remembers as it being “so painful”. Um, yeah. If it’s that painful, why should I do it to NEWBORN who can’t understand the pain?
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BeckyJ Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 10:29 am (Quote)
Yeah. It’s like “hey AWESOME! Not only is my newborn’s genitals being mutilated, but he’s getting molested too!” Ugh *vomit*
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Mama Wrench Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 11:14 am (Quote)
Under strict Jewish law some blood must be “let” during the process (probably originally to ensure that the wound was flushed). MOST do it by hand expression or use a pippett, but a very few Orthodox mohels use their mouths. The practice is known as metzitzah b’peh and it’s banned by most rabbinical courts, from what I understand.
It’s just a matter of holding over ancient practices that no longer have modern significance for the sake of tradition.
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Mandie Reply:
November 7th, 2011 at 8:16 pm (Quote)
I was reading something my midwife gave me to read that said originally circumcision was a slice or “blood letting” not a full removal of the foreskin which is where I thought the mohel putting his mouth on it, to (ugh it sounds so bad to type it!) suck a small amount of blood out of it, came from.
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Rebecca Reply:
November 8th, 2011 at 4:50 am (Quote)
No, it’s always been the full foreskin. If you google “bridegroom of blood” you should find the story of Moses and Zipporah and their experience with a demon because they did not circumcise their son.
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Jessica Reply:
November 8th, 2011 at 7:11 am (Quote)
No it has NOT always been the full foreskin. If they did a surgical procedure as damaging as modern circumcision back then, boys would have been dropping dead left and right. Only a few seconds of research can show you what true biblical circumcision was like. Here’s one link of many you can find: http://www.noharmm.org/choices.htm
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This freaks me out. A week after my son was born at home we were admitted to the Hospital for dehydration (on my part) I was so frantic thinking they would cut him I wouldn’t let them take him out of the room.
Ugh
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Bonita Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 4:37 pm (Quote)
I had my son at home too and my doula (dh was deployed) had strict orders from me to never let my ds out of her sight if we needed to be hospitalized for anything. I would be frightened if we had had to be hospitalized. In fact, I still have that fear even now that he is 1 year old because of the risk of a negligent nurse or dr retracting the foreskin even at a well child visit.
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This situation is scary, to be sure, but I can understand why the nurse might get mixed up. They do have a lot of patients and they are only human. I’m glad that she apologized to the mother! Now, if the circumcision was done without consent, that would be an entirely different story. I’m not sure if that happened or not from the original entry.
Honestly, it’s things like this that make me feel even more convinced that babies should be born at home if at all possible. Far less mistakes happen when baby is at home where he/she belongs!
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This is apparently at a hospital where most babies are circ’ed. It’s just strange that doing surgery is the assumed default and that you have to actively refuse that, rather than doing nothing being the default and parents must request surgery if they want it.
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This is why you do not ask if they want their child cut, you let them tell you they want their child cut, then no confusions!
I was also terrfied of my 2nd son being cut, he was in the Nicu for 2 days and I was just so scared theyd take him and cut him. Thankfully they didnt, and they didnt ask either if I wanted him cut. My 1st son they did, they just came in said ‘Do you want him circumcised?’ I said no, they circled the no on his baby card in his bassinet (had his name, dob, and weight on it too)
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When my son was born, the pediatrician came in on day two, and announced to my husband and I “I just examined your baby girl and she’s doing fine”. We looked at each other and I turned to him and said “Um, we had a BOY?”. The doctor shuffled the stack of papers in his hand, looked back up and said “oh yes, Im sorry. I examined your son, and he’s doing great!”. Freaking moron. That should have been a big clue to us to run fast, but at the time there were only two pediatricians in our town, and frankly he was the lesser of two evils.
This same doctor went on to screw up my son’s circumcision, to the point we have issues with it still, four years later, and refused to refer him to an ENT because “he was too young”, when he’d suffered through ten ear infections from the age of three months to six months. I switched him doctors after that, got the referral, and went to the ENT. First question out of the ENT’s mouth was “why didn’t you bring him sooner? I see babies as young as four months.”.
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Add Your Comment.
I certianly hope this conversation happened *before* the surgery and not *after*!
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Jade S. Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 7:59 am Jade S.(Quote)
My thoughts, exactly. I remember signing the consent form for my cesarean *after* it happened. I can’t imagine this nurse taking the baby for it & then saying “oops, it was already done”
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Jane Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 9:47 am Jane(Quote)
What happens if the mom refuses to sign the consent form for a surgery that’s already taken place?
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Laurel Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 11:46 am Laurel(Quote)
A lawsuit and someone loses a license.
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Jade S. Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 2:31 pm Jade S.(Quote)
Yeah, I wish I would have been that smart lol. I did not want the surgery, but that’s a whole other story. I know a lot more now than I did then.
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Laurel Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 2:37 pm Laurel(Quote)
Well they likely would say you needed it and could justify it somehow.
I’m sure that doesn’t make you feel better though.
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Angie Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 10:18 am Angie(Quote)
The same thing happened to me. They forgot (or there wasn’t time) to have me sign the c-section consent form until after it was over. I wondered if I could have given them a hard time or sued them or something. I wouldn’t, though. Not my style.
)
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Rebecca Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 11:48 am Rebecca(Quote)
I did joke with the attending OB about the blanket consent for vaginal delivery. I asked him what they would do since they weren’t allowed to turn away a woman in labor- he said I’d be sent to a corner in a hallway. (It was clear that we were both kidding.)
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Mandy Reply:
November 6th, 2011 at 12:13 pm Mandy(Quote)
I don’t even remember when I signed the consent for my second C-section. I was brought in by ambulance and put under general, so my husband may have signed it. Everything that happened after we called 911 is kind of a blur. My first C-section was considered emergency, but there was plenty of time for me to sign all the forms beforehand (and be awake!).
I’d be freaking out if that happened to me until I made damn sure they hadn’t cut my child. Then I’d never let him out of my sight again!
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Claire Reply:
November 7th, 2011 at 12:40 pm Claire(Quote)
That’s the difference between an emergency and a crash.
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