“Weren’t You Jailbait Back Then?”

“Weren’t you jailbait back then?” – OB to mother when asking about her sexual history.

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There are 13 comments to this post.

Jane had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 10:03 am (Quote)

“How old were you at the time?” There, I fixed that for you. (But really, only if it’s important to know for her medical history.)

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Mama Wrench had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 10:26 am (Quote)

“Weren’t you classy back then?”

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Alyson Miers had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 10:34 am (Quote)

Doc, are you going to help your patient look after her sexual health, or are you going to give her a moral lecture? This may surprise you, but she’ll actually trust you a lot more, and therefore take your advice more seriously, if you abandon the latter and concentrate on the former.

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Stacie had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 10:51 am (Quote)

ummm… wtf? That is all i can think of to say. this dr. has stricken me dumb with their stupidity.

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Sheva had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 11:02 am (Quote)

Why is it that some docs get off on making inappropriate comments? Just because your job allows you to touch/see a woman’s private areas doesn’t mean you get to make middle school jokes about it. Grow up.
And actually,*because* you are in this business, you need to be especially careful not to behave inappropriately.

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nicola sunnyboo had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 11:11 am (Quote)

no i was an empowered confident liberal woman, and for as long as i am a woman i will still be empowered and confident.. And i feel i have the power to change doctors so BYE your fired

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BeckyJ had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 11:12 am (Quote)

I cannot imagine a more obnoxious comment….Just shut up and nod and write down the history, doc.

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Tee had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 1:04 pm (Quote)

I don’t even know what to say about this one.

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Kristin had this to say, Oct 30, 2011 @ 6:46 pm (Quote)

No, but I was prone to violent reactions when asked inappropriate questions….

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Jespren had this to say, Oct 31, 2011 @ 5:43 am (Quote)

This is *very* poorly phrased, but doctors do have an obligation to report rape, including statutory rape. So if doc is talking to an 18 year old mom then the basic question (you were underage when you became pregnant, who was the father) *is* in fact their job. Doctors who *don’t* ask questions about ‘jailbait’ sexual encounters just help perpetuate abuse.
*BUT* this was *not* the way to ask a potential victim of sexual assault how old her sexual ‘partner’ was. And, if the mom was in her mid 20′s (statue of limitations being what they are) or older there isn’t a valid reason to ask this question.

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Details Reply:
October 31st, 2011 at 9:50 am Details(Quote)

While I agree with your theory that no doctor should knowingly ignore a young girl being abused, the fact is that each state has different rules and the use of the term “jailbait” doesn’t exactly indicate that the doctor even understands the current intricacies of modern laws. Back in jailbait days if the girl was 17 years and 50 weeks and the boy was 18 years the boy could go to jail. It doesn’t work that way anymore in most places. If the doctor was even slightly interested in protecting girls from being taken advange of then he would never have used that term. I would say he failed twice. because he doesn’t give a rip that the girl might have been raped, he only want to gossip about it. What the heck would he have said if the girl said, “yes, as a matter of fact I was raped and my parents pressed charges.” And then you can ask yourself if it would have been posted here. My bet would be somebody in her 20′s admitted to having sex for 10 years or more and the doctor decided to try to embarress her. Otherwise why would somebody post it here?

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jaed Reply:
October 31st, 2011 at 11:36 am jaed(Quote)

A doctor who automatically reports to the police a mother who is under eighteen is abusing his position. Period. (And you seem to be saying she should be reported until her mid-twenties?) A doctor who takes advantage of a patient’s honesty about the details of her sexual history to cause trouble for her and her partner, because that doctor disapproves of the relationship, is also abusing his position. It is in no way a doctor’s job to police his patients’ sex lives.

Such doctors (and such laws, because I know this isn’t always discretionary) are a large part of the reason people lie to their doctors. There is no sense in trusting someone with intimate information who is going to use that information to harm you.

And yes to what Details said: if the doctor had had some actual reason to suspect she had been raped, he would never have used a term like “jailbait” to describe her. This isn’t a doctor concerned about the patient’s wellbeing talking here; this is either a clumsy attempt to make a joke, or an attempt to shame the mother for having “inappropriate” sex.

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