Oct 16

“…That’s When Babies Die.”

“Because that’s when babies die.” – OB to mother when the mother asked why she couldn’t wait until the day after her 42 week date to be induced.

78 people dislike these words.

There are 41 comments to this post.

silverhawkwarrior had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 2:49 pm (Quote)

OP, your 42 week date wasn’t by any chance Thursday the 12th, was it?

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Blue had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 3:25 pm (Quote)

Please. Tell that to my friend who recently birthed her perfect baby at 43+3.

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Molly Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 4:52 pm Molly(Quote)

I recently birthed a 43+3 weeker too

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Molly Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 4:55 pm Molly(Quote)

Oh, and my OB said we didn’t need to talk induction until 44 weeks. Win!

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Jade Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 3:48 pm Jade(Quote)

OMG, your OB was a winner!!

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Molly Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 4:31 pm Molly(Quote)

Yup! And I birthed standing up in the dark, with my OB on the floor to catch! No IV, no Hep Lock, no checks. Totally natural, in my own time, with listening to my body, and in a hospital.

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Jade Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 6:43 pm Jade(Quote)

Ok, now you are just making me jealous lol.

But seriously, if more women had hospital births like that thehn maybe we wouldn’t be in this terrible predicament of birth being an emergency/illness that needs dealing with and treating.

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Jane had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 3:28 pm (Quote)

Tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-DING!

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Samantha had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 3:38 pm (Quote)

Really? A friend has a 43 weeks gestated zombie baby then. I will be sure to keep an eye on her at the next ICAN meeting to make sure she doesnt attack my son for his bbrrrrrrrraaaaiiiiiinnnnss.

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Kristin had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 3:39 pm (Quote)

Oh please! There is no magic number at which babies just die. Listen to yourself speaking and you will realize how stupid you sound.

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Vicki Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 3:48 pm Vicki(Quote)

Exactly. I have photographed many babies who all died around 37-38 weeks…. none past that… just saying!

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genniemom Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 6:47 am genniemom(Quote)

Are you being serious? Are you a birth photographer? I’m just surprised because later gestation stillbirth is relatively rare.

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Vicki Beauchamp Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 8:27 am Vicki Beauchamp(Quote)

Yes, I am a birth photographer, but also a a photographer for http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org .

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amanda Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 9:13 am amanda(Quote)

vicki, i love nilmdts. thank you, thank you, thank you for the work you do for bereaved families. there was no nilmdts photographers in my area when my son was born, but i was able to hire a private photographer (who was pretty wierded out to start but ok with it once we got going) and those pictures mean the world to me.

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Vicki Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 11:11 am Vicki(Quote)

((hugs)) I’m sorry you experienced the loss of a child, but am thankful you found someone to take photos of your son before saying goodbye (or “see you later” as some would say).

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Jade Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 3:51 pm Jade(Quote)

I was so hoping that you said you worked with Now I lay me down to sleep. There are none in my area either but for those families who c access it, WOW, how special for them to be able to do that. Thankyou very much for your work.

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Becky Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 10:04 pm Becky(Quote)

I’m so glad you work with NILMDTS. My sister-in-law had someone from that group work with her when my niece with anencephaly was born. I know she appreciates every single photo she has.

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Lindsay had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 3:52 pm (Quote)

Right, and there is no way that the calculated EDD could have been off by a day – or five, because women ALWAYS ovulated on the 14 day of their cycle. Stupid OB… how about ordering a NST and an ultrasound to check things out instead?

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Jane had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 4:27 pm (Quote)

If a doctor is willing to lie about an easily disproven fact while the mother is NOT in an emergency and is able to go home and look it up, what is this doctor willing to do when the mother is in the hospital and cut off from her sources of information?

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Dreamy Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 5:20 pm Dreamy(Quote)

Ding ding ding!

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Heidi had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 4:36 pm (Quote)

Hmmm… I was a 44 week baby. Granted, I was 11 pounds and a C-section, but I was NOT dead!

This is a weird dead-baby card, IMHO, because it so flippant and patronizing, that it sort of takes away from the seriousness of the threat that her BABY will DIE, doesn’t it?

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Toni Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 7:01 pm Toni(Quote)

“…it so flippant and patronizing, that it sort of takes away from the seriousness of the threat that her BABY will DIE, doesn’t it?”

This! It’s like the ‘The Doctor Who Cried Dead Baby’. And they wonder why people don’t trust them….. My four year old knows the story and grasps it. Why can’t they?

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Jane Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 8:17 am Jane(Quote)

Because it so often works to coerce women into something they wouldn’t otherwise consent to. The doctor raises the stakes and they don’t have the necessary backup to tell the doctor s/he is wrong.

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first time mommy had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 5:20 pm (Quote)

What about the +/- 2 week ratio?!
BTW, DH’s EDD was 2/14. Born 3/5. About 43 weeks give or take. Natural birth.
Maybe I’m married to a zombie and we created a zombie baby!

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Tee had this to say, Oct 16, 2011 @ 10:21 pm (Quote)

Yup, that’s right. 42 weeks and BANG!!! Uterus explodes, baby dies.

::rolls eyes::

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Details had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 4:55 am (Quote)

Then why did they invent the Non stress test. I mean if babies automatically know how to tell the time is up when sometimes mom doesn’t even know exactly when she concieved, then how do doctors know that one day is safe, but add a day and you are one day too late.

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genniemom Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 6:50 am genniemom(Quote)

The non-stress test was obviously invented to coerce VBAC hopefuls into having scheduled c/s before their due dates. /sarcasm

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Selia had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 5:40 am (Quote)

My mom carried me till 44 weeks 3 days. Never once discussed induction or section. (I was a necessary section in the end, but it had nothing to do with gestating that long.)

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BeckyJ had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 6:13 am (Quote)

How about if you come near me with an IV drip bag of pitocin is when YOU die? Does that sound fair?

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Jessica S had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 7:50 am (Quote)

genniemom, I’m guessing that Vicki is a photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep or a similar organization. They provide amazing, tasteful pictures of infants that are stillborn.

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Heather had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 11:17 am (Quote)

*looks over at my own 42 weeker, 43 by LMP*

Um, no.

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Eve had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 11:28 am (Quote)

My now three and a half year old must be a zombie. A 44.4 week zombie. Scoff. He was born on his own time, into my hands. Ten pounds. I get so mad hearing the “overdue” and “big baby” excuses.

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Another K had this to say, Oct 17, 2011 @ 8:53 pm (Quote)

Always the Mom’s choice – but I don’t understand taking an increased risk with good dating?

Perinatal mortality at 42 weeks of gestation is twice that at 40 weeks (4-7 vs 2-3 per 1,000 deliveries, respectively) and increases 4-fold at 43 weeks and 5- to 7-fold at 44 weeks. These data also demonstrate that, when calculated per 1000 ongoing pregnancies, fetal and neonatal mortality rates increase sharply after 40 weeks.

Approximately 20% of postterm fetuses have fetal dysmaturity (postmaturity) syndrome, which describes infants with characteristics of chronic intrauterine growth restriction from uteroplacental insufficiency.

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Aron Reply:
October 18th, 2011 at 5:34 am Aron(Quote)

The numbers still add up to a quite small risk and the actual incidence is generally not without some warning. In the absence of decreased fetal movement or signs of an aging/calcifying placenta, why push for early birth? 42 completed weeks is full-term. The mother in this instance wasn’t asking to be “allowed” to wait until her child walked out, she wanted to wait one extra day – barring any complications.

What never ceases to amaze me is how alarmist people can be over a baby being born beyond 40 weeks, but how nonchalant (even cavalier) they can be over one born before that magic date. A baby is far more likely to suffer complications postnatally from being immature, but how often do doctors tremble at the increased risk of being born too soon? Not nearly as often as at the lower risk of being born too late. This tells me the real issue is not about the baby or mother being safer so much as the about the doctor being in control of the process (or thinking s/he is).

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Jane Reply:
October 18th, 2011 at 5:06 pm Jane(Quote)

You realize that the risk levels you just cited are not as high as the risk of a baby dying due to complications of an amniocentesis, no?

Unless these doctors routinely urge all their moms to skip the amnio, they have no right to urge induction at 42 weeks.

And if you reply with, “They only offer the amnio when previous testing says it’s warranted,” then that’s a good thing, and my reply would be, “Then they should only offer the induction when previous testing says it’s warranted.” That would be nonstress tests and other monitoring of the baby.

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Jade Reply:
October 19th, 2011 at 4:13 pm Jade(Quote)

Ok, so the only way to reduce stillbirth is to have the baby, after all, only people who are pregnant are at risk of intra uterine death. Therefore we should induce everyone and the earlier the better?

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Margaret had this to say, Oct 18, 2011 @ 9:16 am (Quote)

That’s right folks. At 42+1, your baby automatically diiiiiieees, if it’s not rescued from your killer womb.

This means I’m raising one kid, and two zombies.

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Lil had this to say, Oct 18, 2011 @ 3:51 pm (Quote)

I had the same rubbish fed to me, when I moved back to the UK. I did point out that my third baby was born 29 days late, and she was fine…but was told my dates were probably wrong or else I was the exception to the rule, that in some backwards countries they didn’t realise that babies die after 41+6(baby was born in a fully equipt British Military Hospital in Germany…not darkest Peru with Paddington’s Aunt as midwife!)and then the OB said that I’d probably find out a few years ‘down the line’ that my daughter was retarded in some way and then I would wish she had died!!! First off – how dare he make such a comment to try and prove he was right! Secondly, my eldest daughter is mentally retarded, and I love her (although she can wind me up on her bad days!) and she is who she is and we all accept that. And thirdly…the child that was late? Well she’s at Cambridge uni now so :p to you OB!

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Tee Reply:
October 18th, 2011 at 4:30 pm Tee(Quote)

My youngest niece was born at 46 weeks. (Yes, they are certain of date of conception!) You’re right, it’s not the norm. But obviously it doesn’t always end with the dead baby card the doctors like to throw around. I’m sorry you had to hear such nasty comments. So unnecessary!

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Lindsay Helberg had this to say, Oct 18, 2011 @ 6:55 pm (Quote)

Wow. I must be a walking zombie then, and so must my friends niece. Mind you I was 6 weeks and 1 day late, and my friends niece was 7 weeks late. Yes dates of conception are confirmed. I didn’t think zombies had pulses, but apparently I was wrong. Surprise, everyone, the walking dead are among you!!!

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Delanea had this to say, Oct 20, 2011 @ 11:46 am (Quote)

Yes because don’t you know there’s an expiration date on birth at 42+1. *eyeroll* Apparently my 7-week-old didn’t get the memo. 43+6 and born at home in water.

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