Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Oct
1
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Are You Just Scared Of The Needle?”
“Oh, don’t say you don’t want an epidural. Are you just scared of the needle?” – OB while discussing birth plans with a mother.
There are 44 comments to this post.
It was fear of the epidural – not of the needle, but of the concept of something in my back, by all those precious nerves – that first got me wanting a natural birth. Then I started doing research, and became entrenched. 
Seriously, how rude! I bet this doc doesn’t say, “oh, you say you want an epidural. Are you just afraid of the pain?”
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I had an epidural headache with my 2nd, because the anesthesiologist hit a nerve and made me twitch and it made my blood pressure high for almost a week post partum. So NO, I don’t want the damn epidural and suffer like that again!
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Carrie C Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 11:28 am (Quote)
C’mon now, headaches, nerve damage, scarring, anaphalaxis, hypertension, etc. are all reasonable side effects of a necessary procedure. Enduring a natural physical process like childbirth without medical interventions? Crazy!
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Verbal technique: minimization.
Response: Sigh, shake your head, and say, “I’ve been doing research” and offer no other explanation.
I understand trying to figure out why a mother has made her specific choices. There might be a problem the doctor can reassure her about. “Oh, I understand you don’t want your baby mixed up with another baby. Let me tell you about the bracelet system we use for identifying the babies.”
But as Well Begun said, does the doctor enquire as to the reasoning behind EVERY preference? If the mom says, “I would prefer not to eat and drink during labor,” does the doctor say, “Oh, are you just afraid of a little puke?”
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BeckyJ Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 11:05 am (Quote)
The thing I hate about telling people “I’ve done my research” is their response. “Oh! You’ve just been looking stuff up on the internet and now you know all about it.” Like there is nothing reliable on the internet. It irks me to no end.
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Jane Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 11:14 am (Quote)
But the nice thing is, you don’t need to tell them what you’ve researched or where you researched it. You just need to sit there, quietly looking the person in the eye, and if pushed, you only need to say, “Are you telling me I don’t have the right to choose to birth without an epidural?” No, they will tell you, of course you have that right. And then you nod.
When they go for an emotional ploy like that, go logical and they will usually back down.
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Katie Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 11:17 am (Quote)
most people forget that before youtube and facebook, the internet was not for porn, it was for nerds and universities (and the military).
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jaed Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 1:12 pm (Quote)
(As someone who has been on the Internet since the mid-80s – really, before there was an Internet as such – I can tell you that porn on the net didn’t start with YouTube. I still have a very naughty picture here somewhere made out of typed characters – “ASCII art” – such as can be displayed on an old-school text-only computer terminal [think glowing green letters on a black screen].)
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BeckyJ Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 4:27 pm (Quote)
EXACTLY!!! Mothers researching birth are READING INFORMATION. Don’t doctors read too? I honestly think we end up reading half as much as a doctor in med school does, just in our 9 months of being pregnant and in the first couple years after their birth! If not more than half.
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 11:16 am (Quote)
So glad I’m not the only “crazy” person who likes to avoid needles and tubes and medications in and around my SPINE.
geez. Not like anything could *possibly* go wrong there. No way.
‘Course there are all the other reasons I don’t want an epidural. But yeah, I’m kind of “scared of the needle”.
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maggie had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 12:05 pm (Quote)
When I had my now 15 month old daughter, I had a plan for as natural a birth as possible. I ended up with gestational diabetes and was told by the Neonatologist that if they didn’t induce ASAP there was a good chance she would die ( though my thrice weekly NST showed an extremely fit little one). When I asked to delay until Saturday they said oh no! The Dr’s don’t do inductions on the weekend. Well 31 hours into my induction and after a minimum of 20 suggestions to get an epidural by the staff I got one to help me calm my breathing. It calmed it alright! I ended up on oxygen, flat on my back because if I moved to another position the baby ended up going into distress. After 35 hours I ended up with a c-section and complications from the epidural which included a three week migraine from hell that I am 100% convinced in part ended up fueling my terrible post partum depression. So no next time, its not because I’m scared of needles thank you. Next time I try harder to find a midwife who will work with slightly high risk pregnancies.
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Kate, Ren's Mama had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 1:47 pm (Quote)
No, I am not scared of the needle.
I am scared of being numb from the waist down.
I am scared of being immobile, tied to a bed.
I am scared of my blood pressure plummeting.
I am scared of my labor stalling out.
I am scared of developing a fever which is indistinguishable from an infection and therefore puts me on a tight clock.
I am scared that my baby’s heart rate might go all kerflooey.
I am scared that my baby might be in a less than optimal position and I won’t be able to do anything to help her turn.
I am scared that I won’t be able to turn onto hands and knees if we need to resolve shoulder dystocia.
I am scared that I won’t be able to push effectively with my contractions because I won’t be able to feel them.
I am scared that I’ll be more likely to need an “assisted” delivery since I will be pushing flat on my back (the least optimal position for pushing, other than hanging upside down).
Not to mention, I’m kind of busy right now and don’t want to be distracted by the 6 (count ‘em: SIX) tubes/wires that will be coming out of me once you’re done.
I have a high tolerance for pain, I know my body, and honestly right now pain is the least of my worries.
Any other questions?
Good. Just let me move and breathe my baby down and leave me the hell alone.
Thanks.
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Jane Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 2:35 pm (Quote)
I would take all that right out of the realm of “scared” because then it becomes an emotional thing, and doctors can manipulate that. I would go straight for the science-speak.
“I have significant concerns about immobility during labor.”
“I am opposed to the risks associated with narcotics.”
And so on. THen the doctor is put on the spot of having to minimize actual individual concerns rather than just poo-poohing nebulous “fears” and “scares.”
Ultimately it’s coming down to the doctor wanting the epidural rather than the mother, and I’d just be tempted to ask, “Why are YOU so insistent that I birth with an epidural? Because you’re obviously not concerned about me. So how do you benefit? And why are you starting a medical procedure on ME for your benefit?”
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Kate, Ren's Mama Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 9:10 pm (Quote)
“Scared” wouldn’t be my word of choice for actually talking to a doc; I was using their own language rhetorically to make the point that there are 101 valid reasons to be “scared” (or concerned, or opposed, or skeptical) about getting an epidural, and that fear of needles is NO WHERE NEAR the top of my list.
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Kate, Ren's Mama Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 9:30 pm (Quote)
ETA: though for women who ARE scared of needles, that should be reason enough. Her body, her choice. No need for the condescension, doc.
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Wendy Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 3:45 pm (Quote)
To take Jane’s response to another level, I like to replace the word “fear” with “skepticism.” Addressing the latter actually requires some solid and scientifically sound arguments. Addressing fears just involves, “There, there, honey. (Pat, pat, pat).”
“I’m skeptical about it being best for my baby, as there is evidence that it can drastically alter the heart rate.”
“I’m skeptical about it’s safety, since it could cause a fever that can’t be distinguished from the fevers of other infections.”
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Sam had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 2:20 pm (Quote)
besides the fact i hate needles i will never consider one! look at all the other side effects plus you have to stay in bed on constant monitoring. i know someone who works in a care home near me. one time she was telling me about this young woman living there, 40 or not even. she got an epidural and has to spend her life in a care home away from her little kids because of that damn epidural!!
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Another thought: I’ve noticed that a paternalistic–and perhaps subconsciously sexist–tendency among some doctors is to label skepticism and reasonable (i.e. science-based) concerns as “fear.”
To bring in a parallel and super controversial issue, how many pharmaceutical apologetics pieces (disguised as “news” articles) have you read with the following spin: “Parents WORRIED about vaccines, but doctors put those FEARS to rest.” (We selectively vax, btw).
The word “fear” is loaded. It implies that you, O lowly Patient and/or Parent, are an irrational and emotional being. Your Internet “research” is from celebrity gossip sites, and your decisions are based on your mushy-gushy personal feelings. Just let big ‘ol Papa Doctor assuage your fears and do the thinking for you….
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no, I’m scared of the epidural itself.
Epidurals seem to not work well in my family. The only time my mom had an epidural was for a hystrectomy and “it wouldn’t work”. My dad’s cousin got an epidural when she had her youngest child, she went into a comma for 3 months and then passed.
I’m mostly afraid of being numb and not being able to walk and having to have a catheter.
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ashley bean Reply:
October 6th, 2011 at 7:51 pm (Quote)
She DIED from having an epidural??? Wow, I’ve heard of women becoming paralyzed from them, but death? How awful for her children and family to lose their loved one from such a “simple” pain management. And so many of my family and friends wondered why I avoided any form of pain management, especially the epidural, like the plague. I don’t see how sticking a needle in your spine to numb you is appealing. It sounds stupidly dangerous to me. I’m so sorry for your loss. =[
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Kay Reply:
October 7th, 2011 at 12:09 am (Quote)
I’m not entirely sure what they determined her cause of death to be but it all stemmed from the epidural putting her in a comma. Either the anesthesiologist messed up or it just didn’t react with her body well.
I fear epidurals because I fear not being about to walk around or get up to pee. I had to have a spinal tap as a teenager, from what I remember it was way more scary than painful. I’ve never had any back problems from it either. But all my mom remembers is her fear of me breaking her hand because I was squeezing it so hard.
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Hell yes I’m scared of the needle. With my first birth, I wanted the epidural, and the second year resident who placed it took forever, and it was traumatic. I have a needle phobia, but somehow, I convinced myself to deal with it to have the epidural, rather than understand I was strong enough to handle a natural birth.
With my second birth, I’d done my research, went for a natural VBAC (which failed but I tried). And you know what? For all of my understanding of the benefits of natural birth, the medicalization of birth, etc, the main reason I went for a natural childbirth is because I didn’t want to deal with the trauma of the epidural again. The most traumatic part of my VBAC was when I did get the epidural (after 20+ hours of labor, walking around, etc, still stalled at 2CM and my OB suggested that sometimes the epidural relaxes people and they dilate–he is pro-natural birth, so I knew he was just trying to come up with something), I FREAKED and got hysterical during the epidural placement.
So yeah, you could say I am scared of the needle.
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lilmrsmchenry had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 8:24 pm (Quote)
As I see it. A woman saying before labour that she wishes to avoid an epidural during labour is much less likely to be making this choice based on fear (a small percentage may be) than a woman who says, before she even experiences one contraction, she will definitely want an epidural (because they are scared of labour). Women deciding against the epidural are making this choice based on many things including knowing the risks, and wanting to avoid them, knowing that they are able to labour and birth without one, and others. In most cases, fear is not one of the reasons.
Besides, a true phobia of needles is a very good choice to want to avoid one. It is no reason to belittle a woman. It is not like my (slight) fear of heights, I can deal with heights if I have to without a lot of distress, but if it were a true phobia there would be a lot more distress, possibly to the point of a panic attack. This distress would definitely not be good for baby.
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Funny enough, this is the EXACT reason I said “no epidural”. Fear of birth was FAR less than fear of needles. Now, I’m glad I had that fear since I’ve since become educated on the risks of epidural. Not that there was time anyways, within an hour at the hospital I was pushing but I’m so glad I didn’t end up doing that to my poor daughter.
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One of my friends attended an in-hospital Obedience Training (“Childbirth Ed”) class, and the nurse just couldn’t stop singing praises to the epidural. My smart friend not only challenged her on her facts, but also asked, “In the interests of informed consent, would you mind showing everybody the epidural needle?” The nurse did, and the audience went dead silent.
The moral: At least the needle can serve as a gateway to questioning the intervention.
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Add Your Comment.
You’re damn right I’m scared of a needle going so close to my SPINE and possibly (even if highly unlikely) doing permanent damage such as paralyzing me! That’s not to mention the potential impact the drugs going through said needle will have on my child. I might be crazy, but I’d rather have general in the case of a crash c/s. Yeah, probably crazy…
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Jess Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 10:14 am Jess(Quote)
Damn NAK. My name’s Jess, not “Jessy”. Grr…
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