Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
30
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“We Are Concentrating, M’am.”
“We are concentrating, M’am.” – OB to mother during cesarean after baby had been taken away for care without any information being provided to the mother. The mother had asked what was going on and was her baby ok.
There are 26 comments to this post.
My anethsiologist acted as spokesperson for the team probably because he was on my side of the curtain. Sounds like a good policy to me! OP I hope your baby was just fine, but man your people were clueless.
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Lisa in Texas Reply:
September 30th, 2011 at 9:45 am (Quote)
Mine, too. I didn’t even know the gender of the baby or that she had been born because they immediately put her on a vent and I never heard her cry. About 20 seconds after she was born the anesthesiologist told me what was going on and was so kind that I will forever be grateful for him. There should always be *someone* to talk to the mom.
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Ethel Reply:
September 30th, 2011 at 9:48 am (Quote)
I absolutely agree! When the two surgeons got very quiet after the delivery of my first son they were actually very very busy addressing a hemorrhage, I learned later it was 1L of blood that I lost – don’t distract the surgeons when they are quiet because it is major surgery!
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Jane Reply:
September 30th, 2011 at 10:41 am (Quote)
I think most of us are adult enough to understand if they explain afterward, “We were really working hard to save your life. You were bleeding a lot, and we needed to concentrate on that, so we’re sorry we couldn’t talk to you about your baby.”
But the doctor should also be adult enough to explain afterward. You learned later why they were quiet, so your impression is (rightly) that the doctors were attending to a dangerous situation and weren’t able to talk. But if you’d never learned that, you’d have an entirely different understanding of why they were silent and would feel brushed-off.
Politeness *should* go out the window in a life-or-death situation. But later on? Then they need to explain without being defensive, which is what it sounds like your doctors did.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Sep 30, 2011 @ 5:59 am (Quote)
That’s nice. So tell me what’s going on? Or at least ask someone who isn’t “concentrating” to tell me? How hard is it to say, “The baby has been taken to the NICU b/c of this” or “Your baby experienced this so we are doing this”.
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Jespren had this to say,
Sep 30, 2011 @ 8:01 am (Quote)
If you have enough time to say “we are concentrating m’am” you have enough time to say “trouble breathing” or “trying to restore pulse”. If you were actually too busy to comment *at all*, you wouldn’t have had time to say this. And, given how many ppl are in an operating room, I find it impossible that *everyone* is *that* busy.
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Jessica had this to say,
Sep 30, 2011 @ 8:05 am (Quote)
Great, you can concentrate on explaining what’s going on with my baby.
What is it with medical personnel that makes them behave as though the parents have no say or right to know when it comes to their children’s health? We mamas have been looking out for our little ones since finding out we’re pregnant. That doesn’t end once they’re outside our wombs!
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Liz had this to say,
Sep 30, 2011 @ 8:17 am (Quote)
Not me but when I was in the OR I asked the Dr, the anesthesiologist, and the nurse why they were doing a certain procedure. The Dr ignored me and the nurse and anesthesiologist just brushed me off. I was so angry!
If there are any medical professionals reading this PLEASE treat your patients like human beings and answer their questions. It is scary putting your life and your child’s life in the hands of a bunch of strangers. Have the decency to reassure and inform your patients!
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Oh HECK NO!
That’s so wrong.
When my baby was born (can hardly believe it’s been a month already) he had to go to the NICU. The neonatal team had the common decency to say “He’s having some problems, and we need to take him to special care for treatment.” The problems were due to him being in distress, which is why he came via the emergency exit, and meconium.
Reading this makes my heart hurt for the mother who was treated so poorly, and it also makes me grateful for the team I had, they were kind, they answered my questions, and they treated me like a person.
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Ugh…know exactly how this feels. The NICU staff told me why they were leaving, but after no update for 20 minutes I got seriously pissed. There are LOTS of other people besides surgeons in the operating room – someone can take 2 minutes to pick up the darn phone and call the NICU. Nurse anesthetist finally did after I threatened to start screaming so loud they’d be able to hear me in the whole hospital!!
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Mom of One had this to say,
Sep 30, 2011 @ 3:25 pm (Quote)
Not mine, but I was also completely ignored during my C-section while the doctors discussed their vacation plans (they were both leaving for vacation the following weekend). I still haven’t been given a valid reason why my healthy newborn was removed from the room but I do know that the eyedrops I specifically requested be delayed at least 2 hours, were given during that time (while I was still in surgery.)
OP- I am sorry you were treated this way 
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When my sister was born via section, the surgeon and anesthesiologist were so busy concentrating that they were able to carry on a conversation about how the football season was going. If mom’s life was threatened by hemorrhage, that’s the time to say the baby is ok and being taken care of, and now we need to take care of you. Even if the baby might not be ok, the time to tell mom is after she is stable and abdomen is closed.
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Jade Reply:
October 2nd, 2011 at 7:27 am (Quote)
I disagree, mama needs to be told what is going on at the time. Preferably before it happens but if time is that critical that it needs to be done immediately then tell mama (and daddy if he is there) straight away. Do not leave anyone wondering where their baby is or why.
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Hi! I am the mama who went through this. You comments are really making me feel better! I have been carrying this around for 16 months, and while that OB’s comment wasn’t the worst of it, it still really stings.
I have a double cervix and double uterus and my son wanted out already at 25 weeks. I spent a month in the hospital where he was later born and I don’t think they much appreciated my general distrust…My uterine deformity is from a medication called DES that my mother took, so my distrust is deeply ingrained. I wonder if they were somehow ‘making me pay’ for this!
That night my son was at 37 weeks and my water broke 10 days before the scheduled date. I knew because of my cervical problems and the fact my boy was frank breech that a section was needed. I did not expect him to come out when he did, so it was an emergency C-section…we got to the hospital at 9:30 pm and he was out 2 hours later. I was throwing up on the operating table and my boy made only a tiny squeak. I had already told them I would be breastfeeding and that I needed him on me if possible. Instead they took him and explained nothing to me. I finally saw him two hours later in the recovery room. He had been fed and bathed and dressed…and he only weighed 4 1/2 pounds!
They could have told me what was going on.
When we left the hospital 10 days later I found the nurse / midwife who took him and she only said that because he was so small and he was “a bit blue” they took him, but that he pinked up right away and was fine within minutes. When I asked why he was not brought to me sooner, she said she had been “too busy”.
Those two hours really still haunt me!
Thanks again for all your comments!
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Heather Reply:
September 30th, 2011 at 7:42 pm (Quote)
That enrages me.
I know nothing about the double uterus/cervix thing, but frank breech is not a true reason for a cesarean if you can find a properly trained OB (I do know that uterine anomalies like that do tend to result in more incidences of breech birth–hence passing on the info). And have you read your records? I was told mine was an emergency at the time, but the papers say “Non-Emergent.”
I am SO SO sorry they did that to you! That’s just absolutely horrible. Especially that they fed him against your wishes and kept him for two hours That is heartbreaking! I thought it was awful just to have been separated for an hour from my baby after my cesarean. Two… *HUGS*
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first time mommy Reply:
October 1st, 2011 at 8:31 am (Quote)
I am so sorry you went through all that! That’s absolutely terrible and no excuse for how you or your son was treated!
I HATE that “too busy” excuse! When DS was taken away for jaundice and other “necessary” testing, he was gone 4 hours! I asked them how long everything had taken and they said was only about a half hour, but oh they were “busy” , but it was “ok” b/c I “needed my rest”.
It’s sad. If someone takes your child away from you outside a hospital it’s called kidnapping. In the hospital, it’s normal
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Thank you.
I was in France for all of this…a country where they still do vaginal breech deliveries. I discussed this very thoroughly with my doctor who I truly trusted as he is the world’s leading specialist on DES daughters and that particular pathology, and he is not a C-section happy asshat. The pregnancy was so bad, my uterus was literally constantly contracted and did not want to expand to accommodate baby. I spent from 25 to 29 weeks in the hospital on an IV to keep him in and then was on 100 percent bedrest…and all of this alone, no baby daddy, no family! So my doctor and I discussed it and I chose to follow his advice. He was not absolutely against a vaginal breech delivery, but I was just not feeling trying for one in my situation. Unfortunately, when my water broke he was on vacation and I got stuck with a replacement OB from another Parisian hospital.
I was fully intending to get a hold of the records but then life took over and we ended up moving back to Los Angeles before I could…
My son’s father is over there and we will be going to see him at some point, so I am planning to get those records and I will find that OB and give her a piece of my mind…someday!
I went to an osteopath with my boy when he was about 6 months old and he asked me not to come back for treatment until I had done that! He felt how much I was hurting from the birth and he felt it was important to do that before trying to help me with any residual pains and aches from the pregnancy.
I think he was right.
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My baby had this to say,
Oct 1, 2011 @ 4:54 pm (Quote)
I so agree First Time Mommy! If I end up delivering in a hospital next time and they take my child away without my concent I will be calling the cops and reporting them as kidnapped. In the very least it will get them to question their policies even a little than the aggravation would be worth it. I AM the mother immediately, not after some set period of time or after we are discharged.
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Then would someone who is not concentrating mind saying “The baby has been taken to NICU to establish good breathing”?
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