Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
25
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Don’t You Wish We Scheduled This Earlier…”
“See what I meant, don’t you just wish we scheduled this earlier? It could have been so much easier.” – OB to mother who had a unplanned cesarean after she was not able to push her baby out.
There are 19 comments to this post.
They all think they’re heroes swooping in to save a life THEY endangered to begin with. The villain can not be the hero.
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Jane Reply:
September 25th, 2011 at 6:54 pm (Quote)
Speaking as an author, the villain must believe he’s the hero of his own story, otherwise he’s not a believable villain.
Many of these doctors do seem to get off on thinking of themselves as the heroes who save the women their own actions endangered, but I’m pretty sure they don’t realize it. They were brainwashed in medical school to believe whatever they were taught and whatever standard of care they learned during the sleep-deprived years of residency, and in order to maintain their understanding of themselves as the heroes of their own stories, they need to believe everything they’ve done was good and necessary and continues being good and necessary.
The “I told you so” is just a doctor’s attempt to reinforce his or her own belief system.
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I’m so sorry this happened to you….and that your ob was jerk enough to make this comment. I ended up having my daughter Monday Sept 19, 2 1/2 weeks early (not bad I know). I also ended up with interventions that I did not want. Luckily though, my ob was very nice to me about it, although the nurses all gave me a hard time about my birth plan….
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Sep 25, 2011 @ 7:17 pm (Quote)
No, Dr. Stabby-Hands, I do NOT think Mama would’ve preferred to have her baby forced out earlier. She probably would’ve had a c-section anyway, because inductions are no substitute for spontaneous labor and she still would’ve had YOU as her doctor, and on top of that, the baby would’ve been premature. She just went through Bad and you’re telling her she should’ve chosen Worse.
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Brittany G. had this to say,
Sep 26, 2011 @ 5:56 am (Quote)
As horrible as this comment is, I applaud this mama for not giving in sooner. This OB definitely sounds like he had pressured for an earlier induction/cesarean, and was just upset because mama said no.
And to the OP, I hope you are/were able to heal after this experience. I know how difficult it can be to lose the birth experience you hoped and prepared for, even when having the “healthy baby, healthy mama” outcome.
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Having attempted VBAC twice and failed. I will speak here. No I don’t wish I had just scheduled. Those hours of labor prepared my sons to switch from underwater to breathing air. Going into labor naturally meant they were both ready (even though one was a couple weeks earlier than expected.) It meant that I gave it the best shot I could at the best birth possible. But then I didn’t have an a$$hat for a doctor pushing me to do anything other than what was best for my babies and myself. This doctor quoted isn’t even good enough to wipe the brow of the jerk who caused my first cesarean. This one is truly a POS. Mama, you need to work on the way you think about this birth. Something tells me “after she was not able to push her baby out” should read “after the medical staff was no help in supporting a vaginal birth.” I really doubt it was you or your body that failed. Failure to wait. Failure to get mom in a more effective position. Failure to understand how natural chidbirth works. Lay the blame where it belongs. Your doctor was a POS who feels the need to deflect blame as quickly as possible so everybody will sit around with their mouths open and he/she will be gone before you figure out what hit you.
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CNicole Reply:
September 26th, 2011 at 11:09 am (Quote)
As a fellow CBAC mom, I too do not wish I had just scheduled a cesarean. Yes, I was disappointed that I ended up with another cesarean (due to sabotage by the on-call resident), but do not regret one second that I had a TOL (of course there are things I would have done differently, given what I know now, but I would still go for VBAC – and will again if I eve have a third baby)
I am sorry that you, and the OP, had the birth experiences you did, and didn’t have the supportive care provider you needed and deserved.
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I was planning a homebirth with my son but ended up in the hospital for a (medically necessary) c-section, 4 weeks ago today. I can guarantee I would rather have NOT had a c-section under any circumstances. Why CHOOSE to have surgery? The recovery has been so very much harder than with my home waterbirth I had with my second baby.
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maybe she wishes you’d let her up off her back instead…
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