Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
3
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Then How Will We Care For You?!”
“Then how will we care for you?!” – L&D Nurse to mother who arrived at the hospital 30 minutes before giving birth, in transition and declined to get in the bed and have a cervical exam.
There are 56 comments to this post.
Imogen had this to say,
Sep 3, 2011 @ 3:14 pm (Quote)
with all due respect if they are REALLY trained in child birth the nurses/OB/etc would be able to know by emotional sign posts where in labor the women are and they would know “how” to “care” for the women without molesting them… just a thought.
[Reply]
Because it’s all or nothing. Either you submit to the everything without question, or you might as well give birth on the sidewalk outside.
[Reply]
…allow me to put my labour on hold and explain all the ways?
“You can check my blood pressure and baby’s heart rate while I stand, rock and squat next to the bed – then you can hurry and prepare a birth stool, birth ball and mat on the ground because i’m not birthing up, I’m birthing down – then you can quietly tell me i’m awesome in between my contractions, speak quietly and respectfully to my birth support team…and then read my one page, succinct birth plan…oh, and you can have a surgical clamp on hand just in case of cord rupture..but you will read in my birth plan that if you clamp and amputate the functioning organ that is the placenta/cord before the placenta is born, I will charge you with assault.”
Lets have a baby!
[Reply]
Natalie Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 12:47 pm (Quote)
I told her “I’m not arguing with you during labor!” Handed her my birth plan…she left, came back and said “Ok, let’s start over”. Once she realized what kind of patient I was (you know, the kind that believe in their bodies), she had some understanding.
[Reply]
Easy.
1. Page Doctor/Midwife
2. Ask the mother (or her partner if the mother is busy) the basics like allergies, GBS status, how far apart have the contractions been and blood type. You can over the entire medical history after the baby is out. Reminder: Keep your damn mouth shut during the contractions.
3. Wash your hands, put on gloves
4. Ask the mom if you can check her blood pressure, temperature, and listen to the baby’s FHR with a doppler/fetoscope.
5. Ask if there is anything you can do to make mom more comfortable. (Run a bath, get her a birth ball, bring her an ice pack 
).
[Reply]
By catching the baby, or calling someone who can. That’s all I came for, anyway.
Thank you!
[Reply]
Natalie Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 12:50 pm (Quote)
My midwife missed the birth, when my SIL ran out in the hall to tell them I was pushing, the nurse said “And what do you want me to do about it?” LOL. After I pushed the head out and she ran out again to tell them the head was out, THEN they sent in a doctor.
[Reply]
first time mommy had this to say,
Sep 3, 2011 @ 10:34 pm (Quote)
=( OP, I’m so sorry. And I HOPE you were able to stand your ground and say NO.
I know how that is. I arrived at the hospital and Nurse Wonderful ASKED if I wanted one. Curious to know how far dilated I was, I said yes. She performed the check and I made clear the pain it caused. She apologized up and down and promised it wouldn’t happen again unless upon my request. Even noted it in my file. Then she left to go check on another patient. DH had gone outside to call our parents to let them know we were at the hospital since we got terrible cell reception in the room. So I was alone laboring which was fine until a male L&D nurse arrived. I figured nothing of it until he DEMANDED that he perform a cervical exam. I protested and told him Nurse Wonderful had said I was not to have them done unless upon my request. He ignored that, “performed” one, ignored me when I protested in pain and told me to shut up b/c he was doing his job.
Nurse Wonderful happened to walk in on that. She yelled at him, kicked him out and filed a report on him on the spot. Didn’t see him again, but I did file a report on him a few days. Never found out what happened to him though. Oh well.
[Reply]
Tee Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 12:43 pm (Quote)
Wow, what an awesome nurse! Would you consider submitting this story for Thoughtful Thursdays? (If you have’t done so already.) It’s stories like this one that reaffirm my belief that some people in the medical field still actually care about and respect their patients.
[Reply]
SculptorAlison Reply:
September 8th, 2011 at 5:20 pm (Quote)
WTH was a male L&D nurse doing performing a cervical check on you without a chaperone anyway? Or at least asking you if you were OK if he did it without one (and you obviously weren’t). I still don’t get males being in the business of labor and delivery anyway…
[Reply]
Jade Reply:
September 8th, 2011 at 5:49 pm (Quote)
Are VE’s usually performed with a chaperone in the US? I have never had anyone else in the room when getting a VE/pap/breast check/any of those type of things.
I still don’t get why people think men shouldn’t be in maternity. This is not sarcastic or nasty, I just genuinely don’t understand why men shouldn’t work in maternity care as midwives and the like. If anyone who has this opinion would like to explain it to me, I probably still won’t understand but at least I will begin to understand why it bothers other people.
[Reply]
jaed Reply:
September 8th, 2011 at 7:01 pm (Quote)
It’s usual for there to be another person in the room during a VE. (Occasionally this is not done of the person doing the exam is a woman.) It would be usual in this kind of case. This is mostly to protect doctors in case the patient makes an allegation of something improper.
This story almost makes me wonder whether the nurse was in fact L&D and was supposed to be there in the first place. It sounds very much more like a sexual assault than a legitimate exam, and men in OB, gyn and related fields are usually very sensitive to this sort of nuance (again, largely for self-protection, but still.)
I don’t have problem with men working L&D, but I do know some people who are very bothered by men doing pelvic exams, and I can see their not wanting men (other than their support team) present while actually birthing. On the other hand, men could not possibly be worse than some of the female medical staff we hear about around here…
[Reply]
Renai Reply:
September 11th, 2011 at 9:44 am (Quote)
As a sexual assault victim, no male practitioner of this specialty is allowed near me. No male comes near my privates except my husband, and it took me a long time to get used to him! I have no problem with men in this specialty, as long as they are nowhere near me.
[Reply]
Wow, what an awesome nurse! Would you consider submitting this story for Thoughtful Thursdays? (If you have’t done so already.) It’s stories like this one that reaffirm my belief that some people in the medical field still actually care about and respect their patients.
[Reply]
Crittersmom had this to say,
Sep 3, 2011 @ 11:40 pm (Quote)
Sounds like the birth of my 3rd. I told them I labor fast throughout the pregnancy, it was written down. When I made the call, I reminded them again and reminded them that I was GBS +. The hospital was five minutes from where I lived and I arrived with baby trying to crown. They still made me go to triage for a BP, contraction monitor and heartbeat check asking if I thought my waters had broken. I told them in between contractions, yes and the baby’s crowning! Luckily the nurse heard that and checked first and quickly rolled me through to a room asking me not to push yet, as if I could stop! The Drs arrived flapping thier mouths about me being GBS + and the nurse finally leaned over and told me to go ahead and push. My baby was born while the Drs were still gowning up and freaking out 7 minutes after arrival.
I decided I would never have another hospital birth if I was healthy enough. I had a wonderful UC for my fourth. 
[Reply]
How do they know she’s REALLY in transition if she won’t get in bed and let them put on the monitor!?!?!
Transition is usually told by the mother’s tone. If she sounds unreasonable in any way by the way she’s talking, she’s most likely in transition. Here’s an example: if a mom is laboring at home and was sure about it up until RIGHT then and nothing is wrong and all of a sudden she’s putting on clothes to get an epidural, she in transition. Or if she says, I CAN’T push! I’m going to be pregnant FOREVER! She’s in transition.
[Reply]
Billie Jo Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 3:50 pm (Quote)
The comment you quoted was meant to be sarcastic.
[Reply]
Holly Reply:
September 9th, 2011 at 8:54 pm (Quote)
ROFL at your ways to tell if mom is in transition! Hubs swears that with both boys I said I wasn’t gonna, couldn’t, wouldn’t have the baby. It hurt, I was done. I was going home. Not gonna do it. LOL!! I remember NONE of these conversations but he swears! He says “next time” he is video taping transition to prove it to me LOL
[Reply]
BeckyJ Reply:
September 10th, 2011 at 7:22 am (Quote)
LOL when I was in transition with my daughter, she was starting to crown and I was in TOTAL denial that she was crowning. 2 pushes later and she was laid on my chest. I’m video taping my birth this time and can’t wait to have that to look back on.
[Reply]
Something similar to this happened to me with my third birth. I thought I went through transition at home, so when I arrived at the hospital, I just wanted to know my doctor was on his way before I did anything else.
Nurse: “Okay, well, just lay down and we’ll check you and then we’ll call your doctor.”
Me: “No, call him now.”
Nurse: “Let’s just check you and then we’ll call him really, really quick.”
We went back and forth like this a few times. Finally, I pointed my finger in her face and said, “Unless YOU want to catch this baby, you have to call my doctor NOW!” She left.
When they checked me it turned out I was only 5 cm. I was heartwrenchingly disappointed, but the other nurse (not the pushy one) said, “You can get to 10 really, really quick!” My doula agreed. I sort of believed them.
15 horrendous minutes of contractions followed. My doctor walked in, put on one glove, checked me, said, “You’re at 10!” My water broke, the baby’s head came out, quickly followed by her body. I honestly don’t think I pushed her at all! (I was talking when her body came out.)
So, the moral of the story is, if they hadn’t listened to my wishes and recognized the emotional signpost, they would have checked first, told the doctor I was at 5, and he would have missed the birth.
(Even that would have been okay with me. I know nurses sometimes catch babies because things just go so quickly.)
[Reply]
Tee Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 12:16 am (Quote)
Heidi, that is such a neat story! Thank you for sharing it with us. Just goes to show that childbirth is not one size fits all, ain’t so?
[Reply]
April Reply:
September 6th, 2011 at 3:22 pm (Quote)
That is such a neat story! Good for you for standing up to them and insisting they call your doctor!
The birth of my twins was similar in that the first water broke as the doctor was walking in to check me, but I was only at 4 cm. I spent the next 30 minutes telling my husband “I can’t do this! Maybe I want an epidural after all!” and blubbering (clearly in Transition, acting the same as I did during Transition with my first birth), and just as the nurse came back in to check on me I said, “I think my body is pushing!” I was at a 10, they wheeled my bed to the OR (due to it being twins) and as soon as we got there my daughter was out. Two pushes. I joke that my twins “fell out” because it happened so fast.
[Reply]
Imogen had this to say,
Sep 5, 2011 @ 3:26 am (Quote)
Wrong, Alice. What about cord prolapse? And surprise breech or face first presentation is common. For the record, I only consented to one VE during my last birth but it’s important to know WHY you’re consenting to them. Calling a VE “molestation”, as is suggested here, is childish and ludicrous.
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 6:32 am (Quote)
Did you read “FirstTimeMommy”‘s post? If that’s not molestation, what is?
[Reply]
Details Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 11:41 am (Quote)
I believe the attitude here is that the first VE might well give important information. Once and houre every hour and twice at shift change isn’t actually necessary, and Anybody who won’t take NO for an answer should be arrested. (First time mommy story)
[Reply]
Amber Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 12:54 pm (Quote)
Several VEs while in labor with my third failed to clue in any of the nurses or Dr.s that my son was breech presentation. No one caught it until I was at ten and his butt was engaging. So, so much for them doing VEs to determine presentation.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 1:38 pm (Quote)
When the mother is declining and made to believe she has no ability to refuse, it damned well is. I’ve been sexually assaulted and I’ve been checked against my will. Guess which caused more trauma?
[Reply]
alice Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 4:13 pm (Quote)
If a babys heart rate is normal there is no indication for a VE to exclude cord prolapse.
A woman arriving in hospital in transition with an undiagnosed breech is highly likely to have an uneventful vaginal birth (multip breech births are no riskier than cephalic birth, in the UK anyway).
Brow presentation isn’t common and isn’t always undeliverable. If there’s a delay when pushing and there appears to be no progression would become an indication for VE.
Of course VE’s have their place and can give lots information, but for that to be the *only* way of assessing a woman and implementing care shows this nurse lack of knowledge of normal birth.
There are so many other ways of assessing whats going on than a VE- abdominal palpation, the womans behaviour, body posture, the ‘purple line’, rhomboid of Michaelis to mention just a few.
Oh. and I’m not ignorant. I’ve been a practicing NHS midwife at a free standing birth centre for more than 13 years.
[Reply]
Imogen had this to say,
Sep 5, 2011 @ 11:51 am (Quote)
I didn’t read it, I have now and it’s awful what she went through! I’m not disputing that. What I am disputing is the general attitude of most people here which is that all doctors are nasty scalpel-wielding woman hating jerks who just want to play golf and molest their patients. C. Pratt, I am using my phone. I am a mother of two and an advocate for gentle natural birth, believe it or not. I am not an advocate for ignorance, however.
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
Previous Post
« “Do We Have A Specimen Tray For This?” Next Post
“How Are We Supposed To Know If Your Baby Is Alive…?” »
« “Do We Have A Specimen Tray For This?” Next Post
“How Are We Supposed To Know If Your Baby Is Alive…?” »
Well…you could try supporting the mom’s labor rather than checking items off a list…just a thought.
BTW, if the mom acts like she’s in transition, you know how dilated she is. No need to stick your fingers in there.
[Reply]
Kasondra Reply:
September 3rd, 2011 at 5:20 pm Kasondra(Quote)
How do they know she’s REALLY in transition if she won’t get in bed and let them put on the monitor!?!?!
[Reply]
Christina Reply:
September 3rd, 2011 at 7:50 pm Christina(Quote)
She can’t really be in labor…She didn’t have pitocin. **eye roll** Just let this woman birth her baby!
[Reply]
Natalie Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 12:45 pm Natalie(Quote)
It didn’t matter if I was in transition or not, if I decline to get checked that’s my right. This was my story btw…and it was my third natural birth, I KNEW I was in transition!
[Reply]
Jade Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 7:54 pm Jade(Quote)
I think Kasondra was being sarcastic lol.
[Reply]
BeckyJ Reply:
September 4th, 2011 at 11:56 am BeckyJ(Quote)
L&D nurses don’t know what transition IS! If they did, they wouldn’t up the pitocin once contractions stall when a woman has a transition rest. Doctors and nurses panic when that happens, but it’s NATURAL.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 1:36 pm Heather(Quote)
I was in transition when I went in with my VBAC. They checked–I was at a 2. It was completely devastating. It happens. It sucks like you wouldn’t believe, but it happens. Most likely as a result of my previous birth trauma.
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 1:41 pm Jane(Quote)
Yikes! I’m so sorry.
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
September 5th, 2011 at 2:08 pm Heather(Quote)
I couldn’t believe it. I was SO sure I was going in to just have my baby! I’d been in labor for 9 hours with 7 the day before and figured that I was just about there and trying to talk to a friend on the phone (to tell her that I was going in), she pretty much confirmed it.
[Reply]
Kali Reply:
September 8th, 2011 at 2:27 pm Kali(Quote)
I saw his happen once as a doula. The mom had cervical scarring. She was at 1cm for like 10 hours but she was in full-blown transition. I felt awful for her, but after 30 hours and a lot of work, she delivered vaginally!
[Reply]
Heather Reply:
September 8th, 2011 at 4:37 pm Heather(Quote)
I regret not having a doula with that labor
I was in transition for 8 hours, then given Nubain. It was like a curtain lifted from my brain and I could breathe again. I went from a 2 to a 4 within the hour and the epidural I’d asked for hours before (I had been honestly hoping for a UBAC, I certainly never wanted any pain meds, but I knew I wasn’t tolerating labor and the baby wasn’t tolerating MY not tolerating it–which is the reason they gave me the Nubain… they just planned to let me suffer, but the baby had been in distress for too long, apparently) was administered.
I had my baby just a few hours later (after some sleep, too). The pushing phase was only 20 minutes and she came out into my hands so fast! It was incredibly healing, for that part of me that felt broken from my first labor.
I’m pretty sure it was birth trauma that led to what happened. I’m really hoping that I’ve worked through my issues enough from that birth not to end up screwing up this one (because that labor was horribly traumatic). At the very least, I have a doula and a supportive midwife and for the first time will NOT be in a hospital, so I’ve set myself up to succeed the best that I can in those respects.
[Reply]