Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Aug
31
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Why Don’t You Pass Me A Beer.”
“Hey, it looks like they are doing a good job. Why don’t you pass me a beer.” – Attending OB arriving in the L&D room and pulling up a chair while the Resident OB delivered the head.
There are 39 comments to this post.
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Aug 31, 2011 @ 11:17 am (Quote)
Unprofessional? Yes, but it’s also sort of refreshing to see a doc with such a relaxed attitude.
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Hah! This is the OB version of the midwife who knits through labor. Because if the midwife is knitting (or the OB is sitting around with a beer, just the mental image) the woman relaxes and senses “all is normal; these people wouldn’t be this calm if anything was wrong.” Plus, the OB was letting the resident do it all on his or her own and gaining experience while the attending was on standby just in case the resident needed help — which leads to a more relaxed resident, too. (My 5th baby was delivered by a junior midwife while the senior midwife sat off to the side, saying, “You do it. I don’t want to get splashed.” **hah**)
I hope the OP wasn’t horrified by the doctor saying this, because I find it to be bizarre but funny.
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Mindie Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:05 pm (Quote)
I must agree with you. This kinda thing would of made me laugh. Infact the nurse I had told my boyfriend that if he said to me one more time “it’s ok if you poop!” she was going to deck him LOL.
I guess it just depends on your personality as well. I would rather have a doctor with a funny personality than one who is screaming at you or cold ….
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Krista Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:10 pm (Quote)
Teehee, knitting midwives FTW! My midwife knitted my son a hat during his very long labor, it’s such a sweet keepsake.
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Jane Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:13 pm (Quote)
You can knock off a baby hat in about three hours. It’s when they finish the hat and the booties and cast on the sweater that you’ve got to begin to worry. 
(And don’t even talk about the matching socks for mom. A pair of socks takes 20 hours to knit.)
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justaperson Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:39 pm (Quote)
Maybe her midwife is a slow knitter. heehee.
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Jane Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:51 pm (Quote)
Or she knit a Fair Isle pattern in laceweight yarn on size 000 needles… 
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justaperson Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:55 pm (Quote)
Or that. The whole idea of someone knitting or crocheting in the corner while waiting to catch my baby sounds awesome to me. So Zen.
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Mandie Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 1:21 pm (Quote)
I had such a great plan to knit during my labor, I find it relaxing, but alas, baby wanted out too fast!
Bummer- I really wanted to finish up my socks. (but a matching pair for baby sounds like my next project!)
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Kat Reply:
September 1st, 2011 at 4:53 pm (Quote)
I brought my knitting to most of my prenatal appointments. One of the midwives admired my socks, and said she took up knitting when she became a midwife, because she would sit and knit while waiting with laboring women. I did find that very sweet.
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I actually really like this. I love the fact the OB says “they,” (referring to both the MOM and the resident). All too often, medical professionals will focus on how the other medical professional is doing, rather than even acknowledging Mom is the one doing the job!
And I love this “hands off” approach. Now, not sure about the beer reference, but it does convey a relaxed, “keep calm and carry on” mental picture.
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I think this is actually a nice comment. I probably would have lost my concentration if one doctor came in and switched places with the current doctor, while I was pushing my kid out.
Obviously, things have gone just fine without him so if their is no problem, there’s no point in him intervening.
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Waiting for the pink link on this one for further clarification on circumstances, but the given context alone sounds pretty good to me!
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mindie Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 12:07 pm (Quote)
Unless this doctor was attending the birth of a still born baby or a baby that would soon pass after delivery. For which, yes this would be highly unprofessional and very inappropriate. But it sounds like he/she may of been trying to lighten the mood as well as convey that all was fine and mom was doing great!
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road2vba2c had this to say,
Aug 31, 2011 @ 12:31 pm (Quote)
I find it light-hearted and relaxing as well, however I can see how it can be viewed as offensive. I’m not there for someone to kick back, relax and watch. That would creep me out!
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I want to know who was supposed to be handing out the beer? Was it Dad? I can see where that would be real distracting when they will only let you have ice chips and all of a sudden Dad and the attending are off in the corner drinking beer. Well if Dad smuggled himself in some beer, he better have hidden a hamburger in there somewhere or at least a can of Sprite!
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Let me see, how do I say this… I guess the OB won’t be billing for his services then? I mean, I want the person *I* picked to deliver the baby, and when I’m in labor that is no time to blow me off by ariving late and then joking about it. Of course I would much prefer this to a screamer or abuser, but still I find it pretty careless and unprofessional.
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This was mine, his comment (which was aimed at the residents not how I was doing) would not have bothered me at all had he intervened when it was needed, he just sat there until the baby was born (which was fine) the problem came in when he just sat there and watched the residents deliver my placenta while using a lot of traction and causing me to hemorrhage a ton and not saying anything to stop them. His “laid” back persona didn’t help when he charted about my hemorrhage either since it said nothing about the amount of blood loss or the real cause of the hemorrhage.
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Tee Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 3:14 pm (Quote)
Jen, thank you for coming and giving us the back story! I’m sorry that idiotic practices led you to hemmorage! Out of curiousity, what reason did he list for your hemmoraging?
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Brittany G. had this to say,
Aug 31, 2011 @ 1:34 pm (Quote)
I know I’m the minority here, but I really find this offensive, so much so that this doctor would never have the pleasure of seeing me again.
This is unprofessional, no matter how you look at it. Unless of course everyone in the room is sitting around having a few, which I doubt happens all that much.
It’s condescending too, in a way. As if the doctor doesn’t take birth, this mom, her baby, or his job seriously.
And the doctor has the audacity to say this after arriving late to the mother’s birth. Really? I mean, why show up at all? Did he expect to have to “save the day” and upon arriving, to his resident actually doing their job, decide to celebrate?
I find the whole thing ridiculous really. It’s offensive because of the attitude it conveys (to me) more so than the actual words. And, most likely, a doctor that says something like this, says things of this nature all the time. Doc probably has a need for a serious attitude adjustment.
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Kristy Reply:
August 31st, 2011 at 1:56 pm (Quote)
I agree… this isn’t a ‘spectator sport’. If you aren’t here to help then leave. To me it almost sounds like he is being sarcastic and complaining about being called late to the party…. but verifying that would come from a tone of voice that we don’t have hear of course. But really… in any case this doesn’t sound ‘relaxed’ to me… he sounds like he thinks attending my child’s birth is just a big joke.
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Lil had this to say,
Aug 31, 2011 @ 2:24 pm (Quote)
I wouldn’t be too offended by this. I’m tee-total due to religion, but aside from that, it wouldn’t be a problem! It might be because we don’t often have OBs ‘catching’ the babies, that is very definitely a midwife’s job, and OBs just tend to complicate things, but surely having a junior OB doing the job and seeing a mum giving birth naturally (or at least vaginally)is a good thing! It also wouldn’t bother me that ‘my’ OB wasn’t aiding the delivery, my town currently has 12 midwives in the team, I met a couple during my last pregnancy and was actually delivered by 2 team members that I’d met before, but that was a mix of fluke that they were the ones that turned up and the fact that it was a home birth and so I actually got members of my team. The previous 3 children I had at that hospital, I didn’t know the midwives I had, and hadn’t met them prior to the delivery room experience. The OB in for my first C-section wasn’t my one either (my one was in clinic 1 floor below the delivery room at the time).
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At my first home birth, my husband nursed the same glass of whiskey for hours while I labored. Could be the home birth thing was making him more nervous than I thought…
This post – it SO depends on the tone of voice.
If he was trying to downplay the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to show up on time, not cool. But if he was conveying that all was well and that this was a calm, beautiful birth, then very cool.
And remember – some of these comments aren’t horrible or mean, they’re just odd or out of the ordinary.
This one definitely falls under the ‘odd’ umbrella.
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I can see the humor and the laid-back benefit, but frankly, if he wants to drink on the job, he can go somewhere else. Not everyone enjoys having people drinking around them or engages in social drinking. My husband is a teetotaler and I’m mostly and frankly, it would have bothered me.
And yes, it’s ONLY that it was alcohol that really bothers me. If he’d asked for a cup of coffee/tea, I’d be fine.
Although obviously from the OP, things WEREN’T just fine. 
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