Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Aug
8
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…The Longer The Birth Plan, The Shorter Amount Of Time Until The Cesarean.”
“We have a saying around here; The longer the birth plan, the shorter amount of time until the cesarean.” – OB to mother during birth plan discussion at a prenatal.
There are 33 comments to this post.
road2vba2c had this to say,
Aug 8, 2011 @ 10:45 am (Quote)
to that doc.
Thanks! 
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Aug 8, 2011 @ 10:47 am (Quote)
“We have a saying around here: the longer the birth plan, the more eager we are to sabotage her labor.”
FTFY, Dr. Stabby-Hands.
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good thing mine was just one page…. with that theory, then #2 was born before i could get to the c-section part. nevermind that it was probably due to the awesome OB who actually went over the plan at my 36 week appt before that and was luckily on call when i went in to labor.
what i really didnt want to do was confuse the nurses with what was important.
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Admittedly it was 10 years ago, but my 2 page birth plan with ds1 made one of the nurses come into my room and ask if I was a nurse because it impressed them so much. I still ended up with a cesarean, but it was due to idiotic hospital protocols for ROM, not my birth plan.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Aug 8, 2011 @ 6:16 pm (Quote)
And I’m sure you do everything in your power to make that “saying” of yours a self-fulfilling prophecy for each and every mother who has the audacity to present you with a birth plan, don’t you?
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The best birth plan I’d ever heard of was printed on a 3×5 card and said “Don’t F… with me.”
I think it captured the jist of her wishes perfectly.
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Stacie Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 1:30 pm (Quote)
LMAO that is the best birth plan ever!! I love it.
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kelli Reply:
August 11th, 2011 at 12:59 pm (Quote)
You must know Noeliaand her midwife Stephanie! Lol! Aren’t they just awesome! http://www.nurturingheartsbirthservices.com/blog/?p=967
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Nope, he is saying, correctly, that overly picky women with unrealistic shiny happy ideas about the wonders of birth aren’t ACTUALLY prepared for it and end up refusing needed interventions that are medically necessary until the only thing that CAN be done to save the baby’s life is a C-section, because you are all idiots.
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kel Reply:
August 15th, 2011 at 1:45 pm (Quote)
Hey genius, an educated woman with a detailed birth plan is likely well aware of all of the possibilities in birth so instead of a short plan that says “I want (or don’t want) an epi, no pit, I want to hold my baby right away ect.” it likely considers much more “If waters have been ruptured with no ctx, I’d like to limit or avoid vag exams to reduce infection risk, then try nip stim if that doesnt work then cervadil, then pit in that order. I prefer tearing to episiotomy, unless there are signs of heart decelerations. If pushing is not progressing as long as heart tones are still reassuring I’d like to first try these positions(kneeling, squatting, side-lying), then an epidural and/or pit(if not using already), vac instead of forceps, and c-sect as last resort. ect” See the educated woman has realistic expectations and is likely requesting things be done in least invasive order first should labor deviate from normal (and she knows what that actually means!)but this means when doc gets anxious to leave trying to “Pit her baby to distress” so she can section her and get home sooner isnt going to be very easy as she is too educated to be easily manipulated therefore she must be quickly lied to, subdued, and controlled. Do you really still support such reckless and asinine comments being made by a person who holds two lives in their calloused and medically reckless hands?
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Add Your Comment.
Good, then my birth plan reads as follows:
1) Treat me with respect.
2) Let me do what I want. I will labor in peace.
3) You the doctor can show up and feel important at the end if you feel like it.
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Heather Reply:
August 8th, 2011 at 10:48 am Heather(Quote)
Win!
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Bonita Reply:
August 8th, 2011 at 1:07 pm Bonita(Quote)
Number 1 pretty much sums up the other points.
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Mindie Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 5:52 am Mindie(Quote)
Or “Don’t touch me unless I say so”
That would be all inclusive.
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Sheva Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:13 am Sheva(Quote)
My biggest fear is being slipped something via the IV. I guess this birth plan would prevent that because there wouldn’t be an IV, right?
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Mindie Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 6:37 am Mindie(Quote)
Exactly. My OB said that hospital policy is that I have to have IV access. So here is hoping my BP stays cooperating so a hospital birth will be a non issue and I can have another home birth.
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Aron Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 7:27 am Aron(Quote)
Personally, I would be open to a saline lock (not a running IV) during labor if my BP was trending high at the end of my pregnancy. HOWEVER, it is always the patient’s right to refuse treatment – hospital policy or not. Their policy can dictate that a patient have have her head prophylactically shaved and the exposed scalp tatooed with purple polka dots – that policy still doesn’t override your right to accept or refuse the proposed treatment. If the placement of those purple polkas guarantees you protection from all birthing woes, you still have the right decide if you want half your head to look like a beach ball.
Sorry, I am definitely in a mood today. To sum up:
IVs just in case of an eclamptic seizure = probably a good plan.
Hospitals saying “do what we say because we’re The Hospital and we say so” = never a good plan.
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Mindie Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 10:32 am Mindie(Quote)
Yeah, if my BP doesn’t cooperate and I end up risking out of a home birth, I will have to look into that more. I know for me, having an IV would leave the temptation open for IV meds (Which I DON’T want…unless I am in the throes of labor) It also leaves the doctors/nurses tempted to give things that I don’t want either.
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Melissa Reply:
August 9th, 2011 at 3:27 pm Melissa(Quote)
Aron is right. You really can decline…anything and everything. I’d bring a copy of the hospital’s Patient Bill of Rights…with the pertinent bits highlighted, ready to hand out, just in case there’s a problem. You can often find your hospital’s prettied up version on their website. Print it up, make copies, highlight…and give that stack to your husband/support person to hand out anytime anyone seems even a little bit confused about who is in charge.
I’ve got the same dilemma. I might consent to a heplock IF I trust my midwife and husband, etc. to help guard it. (I once had a nurse try to inject meds right into the I.V. port even after the drip had been detached…without asking me. So I’m leery of that, too.)
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