Jul 102011

“Well, you’re a naughty girl. Be careful or I’ll pull down your pants and spank your bum.” – OB to mother at a prenatal, when the mother indicated that she took her iron tablets when she remembered.

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 July 10, 2011  OB, prenatal  Add comments

  58 Responses to “"…You're A Naughty Girl…I'll Pull Down Your Pants & Spank Your Bum."”

  1. What.The.Hell?

    This is so perverted, patronizing, sick, twisted & otherwise wrong.

    I sincerely hope the OP reported the doctor. I am so sorry they spoke to you like that…

    Seriously I can taste vomit after reading this. Ugh!

  2. Can someone say PERVERT! I hope the OP got up after this and walked directly out of the office and started calling other OB’s/Doctor’s/Midwives and fired and reported this a$$.

  3. HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS that is inappropriate!!!!

  4. WHAT?!!! That’s just wrong.

  5. Holy inappropriate, Batman. 100% sure that unless I was involved in some sort of kinky relationship with this OB, I wouldn’t let him or her be looking at the region OBs generally deal with. Time for a new practitioner, and time to report him/her.

  6. Goodness. Some people think anything is okay to say if they’re joking. Nasty. I’m sure I would have laughed in surprise and then never wanted to see that provider again. I hope you were bolder than I, OP!

  7. Holy Hell. I would have walked out and filed a complaint. OP I hope you didn’t have to see this moron after this!

  8. OMFG. Not okay. I’m another hoping this was reported!

  9. ummmmmmmm, no words, sorry

  10. This is, without a doubt, the worst one I have ever seen.

    OP, I am so sorry. :(

  11. Ugh, this reminds me of this: http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/maritaldiscipline.html

    So gross. I’m glad I haven’t showered yet today, ’cause now I’m gonna have to.

    • oh…my…gosh…
      I am equally in shock about “CDD” as I am about this comment!

    • Ack! Ack! Why! Congratulations, you were able to creep me out with this link, even more so than this comment. Lol.

    • When it’s consensual, that doesn’t bother me. They’re adults who know what they’re getting into and agree upon it before hand. It has absolutely NO place in professional medical care!! But especially that bit about ‘pull down your pants,’ Ugh, ew.

      I’ve read stories by those wives–many of them are closet masochists. BDSM is no longer considered a deviant behavior in psychology, especially with the bottom being an erogenous zone. There is sexual gratification in many women from that, so, eh. Which is what makes it even CREEPIER for the OB to have said it!

      • I have no issue with consensual/playful spanking either.

        But it has NO place in a professional relationship, or a relationship that has a societal “power dynamic” like the doctor-patient relationship, where culturally the doctor is assumed to have a certain level of power, and the “patient” is assumed to submit to the doctor’s direction.

      • I don’t have a problem with consensual spanking, either — it’s the dressing it up in religious “history,” claiming that it was normal until very recent history, and the idea that so-called “domestic discipline” can only be about the *man* punishing the *woman* without ever explaining how the man is held accountable for anything.

        I just… I don’t know. A couple who’s open and honest about their sexual desires seems a lot more mentally stable than a couple that needs to dress it up as “Christian” to make it okay instead of just admitting they enjoy the degradation and humiliation of spanking.

        • Oh absolutely, I find that beyond bizarre. And actually, I give my hubby as many playful spanks as he gives me, because we have a generally healthy (but not perfect) marital relationship.

          The only person I know of who actually thought the “spank your wife as punishment” thing was a good idea turned out to be… not very healthy/in need of serious counseling. As one might expect. :-/

        • I can see that, definitely. It’s never healthy to hide what you enjoy behind some sort of facade.

          Of course, this sort of thing also encompasses people who don’t feel ‘safe’ or ‘loved’ unless someone regularly painfully punishes them. Not in a BDSM ‘pet’ fashion (which would be degrading to them), but in a more authority figure fashion.

        • And the women who enjoy being released from the responsibility of their own actions (via CoC nee RLDS/LDS teaching where the man is in charge of the entire family’s souls).

          • I am LDS and in no way do we believe that the man is in charge of the entire family’s souls. I am responsible for my actions and my own salvation and my husband doesn’t rule over me as if I were a child.

          • I’ve been told that from both FLDS and RLDS (now CoC–and my ex-gf was Restoration) who say that they got it from the BoM. So, it’s going around the faith–I’ve not read the BoM and am not interested in doing so, so you’ll have to look it up to see if it’s there yourself. I’m from the CoC “Zion” (I can go outside and see the CoC headquarters) so I get a LOT of exposure.

            Just like not all Christians believe every tiny bit of the bible, not all LDS believe every bit of the BoM, I’m sure.

          • You’re right, just as not all Christians believe all the same things in the bible, not everyone who believes in the BoM has the same beliefs. But please don’t confuse LDS with FLDS/RLDS/CoC, that’s like saying all Protestants/Lutherans/Baptists/etc are Catholic because they broke off from the Catholic church. The FLDS/RLDS/CoC broke away from the LDS church and definitely have some different beliefs.

          • I was pointing out that they got it from the BoM, that’s all. My one regular LDS friend didn’t talk about her religion much and she left the church last year, but I know they didn’t live that way.

            And I was trying to be very careful to separate each term, because I get really tired of hearing that. I’ve had to hear that same thing over and over for 10 years, so I was CAREFUL to separate each part. Still managed to offend. There’s just no winning sometimes. Most people would have just said Mormons.

    • What woman in her right mind would consent to a punishment spanking by her husband? While I don’t completely understand, I could see consensual/sexual and reciprocal spanking, but it is never okay to punish an adult woman physically by spanking.

    • Yes the religious aspect is what gave me the heebie jeebies. This is not presented as playful fun. It is presented as punishment.

    • I’m fairly certain that this is a parody site.

      • I would kind of like to be able to convince myself that it is, but I don’t doubt that there ARE people out there who take this seriously.

        After all, there are people out there who are actually into the teachings of the “patriarchy” movement, as bizarre and often abusive as that movement often is (not all the families, but it shelters far too many abusive/cult-like family situations for my comfort level).

        • You are certainly right about that. I just think that this site is intended to make Christians who believe in biblical submission in marriage (which certainly does not include spanking or any other form of physical discipline) look foolish and crazy.

      • It is not a parody site. And most of the women don’t really agree to. Their husbands are either abusive assholes who justify their abuse with this bs or the woman deeply believes in headship/patriarchal authority, wifely submission and can’t see hom incredibly wrong & unchristian her husband’s behaviour is. They believe they deserve it, however they have even fewer options to leave than secular abused women because not only do they think their husbands are right to hit them, they think their God wants their husband to hit them. And spanking…yeah, it doesn’t only involve spanking, if it did it would be bad, but not as bad as at least one of the stories I’ve heard.

  12. Ewwww. I would be weirded out if my husband said that to me – but a doctor? Ew. Ew. Ew. That just makes my skin crawl.

  13. What the…? o.O You have to be fucking kidding me.

  14. I hope she reported this creepy pervert.

  15. “My apologies, you appear to have mistaken me for a client in your other profession. I’m here for prenatal care, not S&M play. Since you’re having difficulty separating the two, I’ll just find another provider.”

  16. It’s comments like these that make me want to hide a tape recorder on my person or in my purse during appointments. I don’t know how legal that is, though.

    • It all depends on your state. Most states are “one-party” states, meaning it is perfectly legal to secretly record any conversation to which you are a party. A few states require the knowledge and consent of all parties. http://www.rcfp.org/taping/ will tell you what the laws are in your state.

  17. So creepy and sick and perverted. SO not appropriate, no matter how friendly this doc was or how well s/he know the mom.
    I hope mom reported this doc, and if not, I think she still can, right?
    As for the recorder thing – I don’t know if it’s legal, but I have a doula friend who does it at births. I want to buy one, too…

    • hi sheva! ;) i know LOTS of moms AND doulas who audio-record their deliveries. its not technically legal, but if it ever has to be used in court, and there is a question of why it was being recorded, mom’s excuse should always be “i wanted to record the sound of my baby’s first cry.” normally, there is no literature given to mom saying that she CANT do that. ta-da… loophole! :)

  18. Holy shit. I’m not prudish or particularly sensitive but this is just gross, coming from a medical professional in a professional capacity. OP, I hope you RAN from this OB!

  19. Wow. Creepy, just plain CREEPY.

  20. Oh, MOM! I’m a big girl now! If I forget to take my iron, you can just lecture me, I’m a bit too big for spanking. And besides, when did spanking ever work anyways…

    I hope the OP was related to the OB… Even then it would be TOTALLY creepy!!!!!

  21. This is fifty kinds of inappropriate. Sick.

  22. As a person who has been molested by a GYN and her nurse, this just makes me sick. Plain and simple.

    Can someone clue me in as to what “op” stands for?

    • Original poster

    • o.O
      How do you trust doctors after that!?
      I’d never go to the doctor again!

      • Kristin, it’s very hard. I have serious trust issues but as time has gone by, I’ve been forced to deal with them. Since then, I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis that has required years of constant GYN related visits and surgeries. In a way, that has actually helped me because I’ve become familiar with exactly what is “right” and what isn’t when it comes to an appropriate GYN visit. I was a month shy of my 15th birthday when that happened and I just turned 30 last week. Time has not healed the wound at all but it has been dulled. And let’s face it, therapy and appropriate medications have also helped immensily!

        • I hope something was done with the Doctor.
          I mean, how can “professionals” get away with that?
          I was tickled weird by my male pediatrician when I was 14 and we never went back. And he recently quit the practice that he worked at. Of course, my thing was not real serious, and it was 14 years ago.

          • Kristin, I wish I could tell you that something was done. But it wasn’t and it was my fault that it wasn’t. I didn’t tell anyone for the longest time, although my family certainly knew that something was very wrong. By the time I decided to take legal action, the statue of limitations was up in my state. My only option was to go to the media and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I did, however, speak directly with the clinic that this happened at and found out that she no longer worked there. I also found out, in talking to local prosecutors, that many complaints had been filed from patients of that specific clinic. It lead me to believe even more strongly that I was not the first person hurt at this woman’s hands. (Women, really, since it was two of them.) I will always regret not having spoken up at age 14 but I can’t change the past.

            I’m sorry that happened to you. Inappropriate is inappropriate, you know? There is no appropriate “tickling” between a doctor and a 14 year old!

          • Kristin, I wish I could tell you that something was done.But it wasn’t and it was my fault that it wasn’t.

            Please release yourself from all guilt. The fact that there were multiple complaints and nothing was done means that had you complained, most likely more nothing would have been done.

            You are not at fault in any way. One of the chief things an abuser likes to do is make the victim believe it’s her fault, but it is NOT and NEVER could possibly be your fault. Not the original inappropriate action and not the fact that you didn’t come forward right away.

            **Hugs** and I’m sorry you went through that. :-(

          • Thank you for your sweet words! What’s done is done and all I can hope for is that other people find the courage to step forward. I do find it incredibly disturbing to know that so many complaints came from the same clinic and yet it’s still open. Had I been older, I probably would have said something. At that age, I didn’t even know the words to explain what had happened. I think that is a big part of the reason that I didn’t even try. No, none of that was my fault. I just wish it had ended better, that’s all.

  23. EWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!! what a perve

  24. I am a pervert. (Although I prefer the term “pervect.”) This doctor does not deserve to be dignified with such a description. Sexual harassment is not kink, it’s a form of non-penetrative rape. I hope he got in trouble for that.

  25. Nooooo gag nooooo gag

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