Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
28
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Your Baby Won’t Even Recognize You When It Comes Out.”
“Why? Your baby won’t even recognize you when it comes out.” – OB to mother who stated she wanted her baby on her chest skin to skin immediately after birth.
There are 40 comments to this post.
Point One: Actually, they do. They recognize mom’s voice and mom’s body smells like mom’s amniotic fluid.
Point Two: If the baby won’t recognize me, she sure as heck won’t recognize anyone else in the room.
Point Three: The warmer doesn’t need to bond with the baby. But MOM DOES so give her the baby she worked so hard to birth!
For pity’s sake, it’s not like the mom said she wanted a Mariachi band to enter the room playing Hooked On A Feeling. She asked to hold her baby — why is that so difficult to accommodate?
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Jane Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 5:00 am (Quote)
I’ve mentioned before that my second baby was a full-term anencephalic, meaning her brain hadn’t formed beyond the brain stem and some rudimentary tissue in the cerebrum. I got a tiny skid-mark from her birth and the midwife asked to make the one stitch without anesthesia because one jab is one jab, and I was cool with that. When she did the stitch, I went, “Ow!” and the baby **turned to me and looked up.**
This is a baby with no higher brain activity because of not having a higher brain, but she turned to the sound of my voice. Why then would anyone believe a healthy, whole baby couldn’t do the same?
And later, among other conversation, when I said something I’d said to her a LOT during the pregnancy, she turned toward me again and stretched out her feet.
But yeah, she didn’t *recognize* me. **eyeroll**
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Louisa Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 6:13 am (Quote)
I actually don’t know how to respond to this. It is the saddest & sweetest thing I have heard. Can I give you a cyber hug?
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road2vba2c Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 6:51 am (Quote)
Jane, I feel the need to express my love for your comments again. I’m thankful my mouth was empty or else I would be cleaning my monitor right now! You crack me up. Mariachi band…
BTW, your story about your little girl was heart warming. So bittersweet. May I ask how long she was with you on this earth?
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Jane Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 9:06 am (Quote)
She lived after birth for about two hours. Her full story is at http://www.janelebak.com/ctt/emilyrose.html
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Kara Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 11:23 am (Quote)
Thank you for sharing your precious daughter’s story.
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Krista Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 2:31 pm (Quote)
What a beautiful story, Emily was so beautiful. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to share a story I found years ago when my sister found out her daughter had Potter’s Syndrome.
This blog is the story of Faith Hope:
http://babyfaithhope.blogspot.com/
She was born with anencephaly and was able to stay with her mom for a little over three months. Her experience is just so sweet to me, and I’m sure that it was sweet to be with Emily.
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And then she was big enough that she didn’t need to use it. Her mom’s story was so incredible.
Rachel K Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 3:39 pm (Quote)
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful story. Emily was beautiful and precious, and you’re so blessed to have had her even if it was only for a little while.
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Really?! Even after my cesarean my son was screaming while my DH was holding him and then brought to my face. I barely whispered to him and he immediately stopped crying and locked eyes with me. Yeah he recognized me sure enough.
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Kara Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 7:32 am (Quote)
The same thing happened after my first was born by c/s. He was screaming when they brought him over to me and as soon as I started talking he calmed right down and looked at me. And my third who was born by emergency c/s under general didn’t see me for 4 hrs after the birth but couldn’t stop looking at me once I finally got to hold him.
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Jun 28, 2011 @ 5:57 am (Quote)
For God’s sake, regardless of how fruity you think her request is, just honor it already – what would the harm be in that?! I am so sick of these idiots acting like mom is a frakkin’ moron just because she wants to hold HER baby. 
Grrrr….. (too much coffee today, I think)
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Lauren Reply:
July 1st, 2011 at 8:34 pm (Quote)
its really sad. When he told me that he definitely got an earful from me! He tread really carefully around me from that point on.. it didnt matter because in the end after 36 hours of labor I wound up with another c section. at least i was awake this time. baby came out, i kissed him then they sedated me..fun fun..
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Well aside from the fact you are totally wrong doctor, I WILL RECOGNIZE MY BABY. I have waited 40+ weeks to hold this baby in my arms, and to see that perfect little face, so hand over the baby!!!
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Jane Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 6:16 am (Quote)
The second or third tenet of modern obstetrics is that the mother doesn’t matter. She’s a package to hold the baby, nothing else. You don’t care about the feelings of the Ziploc baggie that holds your lunch, right? And to some doctors (and the one in the OP) the concept that the mother might have legitimate feelings and desires is beyond comprehension, and the idea of honoring those feelings even moreso.
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Samantha Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 9:13 am (Quote)
I learned this very quickly when my GYN learned I was using a midwife and sent me a certified letter dropping me from her service.
But it is not just OBs, most people feel the same way when it comes to birth. So many people have said upon learning my planned homebirth ended in c-section ‘well at least the baby was fine, that is ALL that matters.” Well actually my feelings on his birth mattered a lot to me. It makes me want to scream when people say that to me, or any mother. Birth is important and the WAY our babies are born is very important.
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Aside from TOTALLY recognizing me – my second son recognized his older brother! As soon as his big brother started talking, my 2 day old newborn (who had, up until that point ignored every other sound in the room), stopped breastfeeding and turned to look in the direction of his brother and even reached his arm out towards him. He is 14 months now and the two are BEST friends.
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If my babies can recognize theme songs from shows I watched while pg then I’m pretty sure they recognize mommy! With #1 I watched The Nanny a lot during my pregnancy and with #2 I watched Friends. After they were born any time they heard those songs, even as newborns, they would completely stop whatever they were doing, turn towards the TV, and start wiggling to the music.
I was actually watching a National Geographic show called The Science of Babies yesterday and they were talking about how newborn babies recognize their mother’s voices after birth and how nursing helped bonding by putting their mother’s face at the perfect distance for them to see.
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Rachel Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 8:42 am (Quote)
My son has a similar thing. We watched the “Babies” trailer about eight thousand times while I was pregnant, and because we’re also huge fans of Sufjan Stevens (the artist who did the song on the trailer), we have the CD with that song on it. That song will get my son to stop crying when almost nothing else will.
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Jenny Islander Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 1:50 pm (Quote)
I knew a mom who hated housework, so to motivate herself she would put on “Brown Sugar” by the Rolling Stones and turn it way up.
Guess which song had to be playing for her colicky son to finally get to sleep? LOUD. With extra bass.
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Well, thanks for confirming that far from being in the habit of using evidence-based practice, you don’t even KNOW what current evidence-based practice is.
I think I’ll find someone who is able to view birth as something more than just a medical procedure. It occasionally involves some medical assistance, but even so, EVERY birth is a life changing event for at least two people, usually more (the baby, both parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, close family friends).
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So my mom told me this story about the day I was born. My mom used to sing to me in the womb, as many moms do.
Shortly after my birth, she left me with my dad so she could go to the bathroom. I was crying because I was hungry. My dad tried everything, but I just wanted food.
My mom heard me and shouted through the bathroom door, ‘It’s okay, Jessica. Mommy will be there soon.’
I stopped crying instantly.
Still baffles my dad to this day.
But yeah, that wasn’t because I recognized her *eye roll*
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Jenny Islander had this to say,
Jun 28, 2011 @ 1:58 pm (Quote)
Baby no. 1: “Who are you? Where am I? For that matter, who am I and where are we?”
Baby no. 2: “I WAS ASLEEP UNTIL AN HOUR AGO AND YOU DUMPED ME OUT HERE IN THE COLD AND WIPED MY BUTT AND THIS BREAST HAS BEEN NURSED ON RECENTLY AAAAAAGH!!!” All directed straight at me, by a baby less than an hour old. She knew where the buck stopped. She could also tell that hindmilk wasn’t what she needed. I switched her to the full breast and she settled right down, grumbling with her mouth full.
Baby no: 3: “Oh, gosh, Mommy, that was SCARY! You had to push and push and I came shooting out like a watermelon seed and it was SCARY! Cuddle me, Mommy! That was SCARY!” He kept reaching for me when he had to be picked up off my chest briefly for an exam. He didn’t know how to use his arms yet, so he leaned with his whole body. (He had decels the last 15 minutes before birth because his cord was wrapped around his shoulders, so I had to push like hell. And he told me all about it.)
All three of them alerted to the sound of their father’s voice. When one of them was a few days old, the midwife came for a visit; he was sleeping at the breast, but cranked his eyes open–tiny forehead wrinkling with effort–at the sound of her voice. “Oh, it’s you! I know you.!” He smiled, blew a bubble, and went back to sleep.
But, you know, just the eyes and brain of a plain simple human being here, not a mighty godlike OB with his/her Charts That Define Reality.
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Its a shame this OB has no passion for his work and wants to read around his work, he might have come across this little gem that would explain all.
I love this man.
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/firsthour.asp
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Because vision is the ONLY sense we use for recognition…
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