Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
27
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…I’m Not Going To Have You Birthing That Baby Into The Toilet!”
“You can’t just sit there, I’m not going to have you birthing that baby into the toilet!” – L&D Nurse to mother who felt that sitting on the toilet helped her labor pain.
There are 33 comments to this post.
I’m assuming this was in a hospital setting, don’t they have those freestanding toilets with the removable buckets? Why can’t the mother be accommodated just a tad and one of these be provided to her if sitting in that position is the most effective? Oh, wait! I forgot about that oh-so-wonderful and expensive epidural that would be much easier to provide than some simple labor support.
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Chara Watson had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 3:03 pm (Quote)
Then bring me a birthing stool.
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Heather Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 3:52 pm (Quote)
Exactly what I was thinking. Also, I found out from a nurse friend that the beds in most rooms have a birthing chair option that they break down into! I was really mad to find out that the hospital that I birthed at had those beds and no one once offered me the option when I’d said I wanted options like that!
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Lil had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 3:24 pm (Quote)
Years ago, in a military hospital, I had a friend who came close to delivering her first baby on the toilet…the midwives refused to believe she was in ‘real’ labour (having been given gel to induce her a few hours before, they insisted it was ‘gel contractions’)-should have seen them panic when I ran/waddled up the corridor to say she was pushing whilst on the toilet. Baby was born minutes after they forcibly yanked her off the toilet and onto a bed!
At the end of last year, another friend of mine came even closer to giving birth on the toilet-I believe the baby was crowning by the time she managed to get off! She couldn’t resist adding ‘louie’(As in Loo, colloquial term for toilet)as baby’s middle name!
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abba12 Reply:
June 29th, 2011 at 3:44 pm (Quote)
This almost happened to me! I was induced at 38 weeks with the gel for (actually legitimate) medical reasons, but they insisted that because it was my first baby, I would not begin labour on the gel and it was simply to prepare my body for the oxytocin (that I had informed them I had every intention of refusing.) I delivered 3 hours after they finally believed me, we think I was about 7 or 8 cm by the time I actually got taken down to the birthing suites.
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Since it was an L&D nurse saying this rather than a midwife or the OB, I’m wondering at what point in the labor this was said. Because if the mom is laboring on the toilet just fine at 5cm, then there’s no reason to freak out about where she’s laboring at all.
(Er…okay, so I was at 0cm when my water broke on the toilet, and about half an hour later I had a baby, but that’s really rare. I was on the warm-up dose of pitocin and my body was reeeeealllly ready to have that baby.)
But in a normal labor, if the mom is doing great sitting on the toilet, then up until she’s ready to push, what’s the harm? Aren’t these the same professionals who *know* there’s no reason for the doctor to be in the hospital, since women don’t labor and give birth that quickly and without pitocin, AROM, forceps, episiotomies and coached/screamed-at pushing?
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Details Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 4:34 pm (Quote)
Exactly if mom is at 6 cm, leave her alone! If you haven’t called the doctor yet, leave her alone! If she isn’t pushing, leave her alone! Now somebody can tell me about their 20 minute labor on the toilet…
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Louisa Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 8:22 pm (Quote)
actually, was talking to a woman this morning who had her 2nd HBAC on the toilet, was having mild contractions, felt like she needed to go to the toilet, did her business, reached down to wipe and felt the head crowning. Her whole “labour” was 1 hour.
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I spent the majority of my last labor (3 weeks ago) on the toilet. Even got to the point where I was pushing while I was on the toilet. My husband told me I wasn’t allowed to give the baby a swirly right off. I chuckled at that. However, I was really frustrated because they moved me from the toilet to the bed, though I repeatedly said that I wasn’t going anywhere. I REALLY didn’t want to move!
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This is mine. I was 34 w 5 d admitted with contractions 2 min. apart and dilated to 2. Since I hadn’t had my GBS test yet I was put on the routine antibiotics. Being pumped with fluids made me have to use the restroom, over and over. I was hooked up to a gazillion monitors and had to call the nurse in every time I needed to go. I had to have been between…. 2-4 cm when this occurred. Laying in bed was killing me with the back labor I was experiencing and it didn’t help that I kept holding my bladder because I didn’t want to wet the bed. I was far more comfortable sitting on the toilet with my bladder relaxed, it made a huge difference in the labor pain. However, I was obviously inconveniencing this oh so friendly nurse and she made this statement before ushering me back into the hospital bed. If I’d had the mind to talk back I would have told her that this wasn’t my first baby and I wasn’t going to just “accidentally” have the baby in the toilet! This wasn’t the end of things, I’ve got another submission coming and will tell more of the story then.
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Jane Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 4:51 am (Quote)
At 4cm she said this!? This nurse just didn’t feel like having you off the monitor and having to pay attention to you, and used this as the excuse because “I don’t want to do my job” doesn’t sound as poetic.
I’m sorry this wasn’t the worst thing said to you during that labor.
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Teresa Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 5:24 am (Quote)
Hmmmmm….. next submission isn’t mine…. so maybe they decided not to post the second part of this? It was in the same e-mail so….. anyway….. to continue the story…..
Later on when this nurse was helping me back into bed for the umpteenth time immediately following my using the restroom, she got me in and I had to tell her I needed to go again. Her response? “I’m not taking you again, you can have a bed pan if you want.” =O I didn’t stand up for myself…. just said yes to the bed pan, which from then on is what she brought to me instead of allowing me to use the restroom. I felt helpless. This whole experience was a nightmare for me. I was yelled at if I so much as moved because I was “messing up the monitors” so I laid flat on my back trying not to move a muscle and screaming in agony. I’d intentioned to go drug free as I had with my first, but with everyone who entered the room pushing the epidural I caved. First I took IV drugs which seemed entirely useless, I ultimately accepted the epidural. I hate myself for caving like that! My son was born 6 lb. despite them telling me how little he’d be at only about 4 lb. Perfect initial APGAR scores leave me wondering if the issues he ended up having may have been tied to side effects of the epidural, IV drugs, or Vit. K shot. He was immediately rushed away for antibiotics because at this time they’d found that I was GBS positive, I wasn’t allowed to hold him, I think they let me give him a quick kiss before he was gone. I was placed in the PP room furthest from the nursery. Thanks to a lovely epiosiotomy I took a wheel chair down to see my son, it was just too painful to walk. On my way back after going to see him my first time a nurse told me I needed to walk and banned me from the wheelchair. I unfortunately lost all desire to see my son after that point. He had a lung partially collapse within the first 24 hours and was transferred to a higher level NICU (although it corrected itself right before the transfer ended up happening). I got to see him in his little cubicle right before they took him away. Thankfully we were able to immediately follow. The new NICU had separate rooms for each baby and I was allowed to room in. We spent 2 lonely weeks there with almost no visitors, and my Mom only brought my older son to see me once, and for a very short time. Between the way I was treated during my birth experience and that long two weeks in that dark little NICU room I fell into very deep PPD that I didn’t even fully dig myself out of for almost 2 years, I’ve just recently started truly working through this experience.
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Jane Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 5:30 am (Quote)
I’m so sorry. 
That’s so awful, Teresa. I’m just without words for how badly you were treated.
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Louisa Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 6:19 am (Quote)
Oh darlin, big hugs and just a point, you might not have PPD but PTSD as well. Be sure to check it out.
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Teresa Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 8:40 am (Quote)
You’re not the first person to mention PTSD…. it’s very possible…. I never got an official diagnosis of PPD although I figured it out on my own. I wish I would have pursued professional help but I never did =(
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jaed Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 10:35 am (Quote)
It’s not too late to do just that, Teresa. (And it sounds as though it would be helpful to you in continuing to process the whole experience.) I’m so sorry that you were put through this.
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Sheva Reply:
June 28th, 2011 at 12:35 pm (Quote)
I’m so sorry and horrified that you went through that. Can I just say that you’re not alone? I also had PPD and PTSD from my first, but I denied it and didn’t get therapy until way, way later. A subsequent birth with home-birth midwives was also healing. I wish you the best of luck, and some hope – you can heal.
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first time mommy had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 7:17 pm (Quote)
excuse me? that’s where i felt most comfortable! i labored on the toilet at home and at the hospital. my l&d nurse i had was the sweetest! would help me every time i wanted to get up, would gently ask me questions and go to the br and she even held cool wash cloths to my head/neck =) this l&d nurse could learn a thing or two from mine!
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I finished my latest labor on the toilet. Went in there for a change of position and less than 5 minutes later DS2 was crowning. I stood up, propped one leg on the toilet and 3 pushes later out he popped. I sat back down and relaxed.
BTW, it was a very small bathroom and there was me, my midwife, my husband, my doula, and DS1 all in there. I’m still amazed we all fit!
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Wow, this one isn’t mine but it totally could have been. Overall my labor staff was great, but if I’d had a doula, they probably would have been present of mind enough to request a labor stool. I spent literally from centimeters 3 to 7-8 moving on and off the toilet, and it went fast. After I got checked at that point, they told me to lie down on the bed so I wouldn’t deliver the baby in the toilet. The last few centimeters were miserable, and took longer than going from 3 to 8. A birth stool would probably have meant a few hours less labor, and definitely less than an hour of pushing!
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I had one like this. I was in triage waiting for a room (in labor with my first). At home sitting on the toilet was a good spot, so hubby and I walked down the the triage bathroom so I could sit on the toilet. The nurse at the desk asked what we were doing and then said, “Make sure you don’t push while you’re in there.”
One… ummm, duh. Two, do you really think I’m going to start pushing at 6 cm? Hubby and I just started at each other in utter amazement of the stupidity.
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my first home birth experience (turned unassisted) with our 4th ended on our toilet with my husband catching! i kept telling him i didn’t want to move but didn’t want the baby to fall in… not sure what my positioning on the toilet was but he told me there was no way the baby was going to fall in… baby came out, husband caught, placenta promptly followed… then came my midwives LOL
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I (tried) to give birth in a birthing centre, not a hospital and thus, the midwife suggested all kinds of things like sitting on a birthing ball in the shower with the handheld shower head on (I directed it at my back with HOT water, heaven!) A sling doohickey, birthing pool, leaning on the kitchen counters, walking up and down stairs, walking around the block. There were times I elected to rest in bed…that caused the worst pain of all and I don’t know why.
Sadly, I failed to progress, had to transfer and the Doctor at the hospital did try to get him out vaginally but no dice. C section.
At least I know the midwife and I did everything possible to have a natural/non medical delivery. Poor midwife was crying along with me when I had to transfer.
I’m dreading having to go the hospital route (different hospital next time) with #2
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I had 2 very bad and disappointing hossy births, but at my last birth (planned HB turned hossy induction at 42 weeks) my AMAZING nurse sat with me while I was laboring on the toilet and when I couldn’t get up because it was the only thing that was comfortable, she said, “I think you might be meeting that baby soon! This is a sign you are in transition, and I would like to check you so we can call the Dr. Can I help you to the bed? I promise to help you back after I check you if thats what you want, or we can try some squating postitions on the bed.” She was kind, and gentle, and empathetic…. WHY OH WHY ARE SOME NURSES SO IGNORANT AND BITCHY????
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That certainly was not a kind way to word it, no doubt. That nurse should have been gentle & supportive if she needed mom to change positions. However, I’ve learned that there’s some validity to not delivering in/on toilet or at least moving to edge of toilet. While lots of moms do wonderfully laboring and early pushing phase on the toilet, if they want to deliver while sitting on the toilet, it’s crucial that they have the presence of mind to scoot their rears to the edge of the toilet so that the baby is delivered *out* of the toilet instead of into the bowl. My homebirth CNM said she knows a midwife who caught a baby who was born when mom was on the toilet & the force of baby’s emergence broke the midwife’s arm immediately (trapped in the toilet). Barbara Harper’s “Gentle Birth Choices” DVD shows a beautiful birth center birth w/ momma delivering off the edge of the toilet (does anyone remember, that might have been a VBAC as well).
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