Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
26
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…What Else Have You Placed In Your Vagina?”
“Don’t ever put your fingers inside yourself. You shouldn’t put anything in there. What else have you placed in your vagina?” – OB to mother who told the OB that she had a tipped uterus, and stated she knew this from having examined herself.
There are 69 comments to this post.
What else have I put in there? Well, my husband’s penis, for one…
[Reply]
So, is this doctor against tampons? Oh, it’s ok to shove cotton up there, but God forbid you might become familiar with your own body by inserting your own fingers…And what the heck are fingers going to hurt anyway? During a pap they spread you open with metal, but FINGERS are going to do major damage???? Here’s a tip, if it hurts, pull them out. Doubt that fingers are going to get further in than a penis, unless the man is very unfortunate, OR the woman is, for some reason, trying to get elbow deep…this post just baffled me, can you tell? lol Sorry to be so graphic.
[Reply]
Don’t ever put your OWN fingers inside your OWN body?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! That’s a good one doc, you really had me going there for a second.
Wait… you were SERIOUS?
Ok, um, well, bye then!
Come on. People put their own fingers inside their own bodies all the dang time.
You floss your teeth with your fingers, generally speaking.
If you’ve ever used a diaphragm or other internal contraceptive device, you have to get used to your own fingers inside there.
Certain brands of tampons, and every menstrual cup ever invented require a certain level of familiarity with one’s own internal plumbing.
It’s just a vagina doc. You stick your hands in them all the time, along with various other medical equipment.
“You shouldn’t put ANYTHING in there?” Really? How the F@#$ do you expect anyone to ever get pregnant if nobody ever sticks ANYTHING in there?
[Reply]
Bonita Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:38 pm (Quote)
Not to mention those of us who use natural family planning who use cervical changes as a fertility cue so we stick our fingers up there every morning!
[Reply]
Kat Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 6:25 am (Quote)
Exactly! Been there, done that. I know most doctors don’t believe it works though, so I was just listing completely ordinary things that any doctor with more than two brain cells to rub together ought to be very well aware of, and believe to be beneficial/necessary.
[Reply]
Well, when I go out and don’t want to take a purse, I put my spare change, lipstick and driver’s license in there.
PS: I once babysat a 2 yo who wanted to put her Teletubbies plastic figurine in her vagina in the bath…her parents had warned me about it….now THAT you don’t want to stick in there
[Reply]
Mary Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:02 pm (Quote)
Now I have to clean the Pepsi off of my computer screen.
Spare change….LMAO!!!
[Reply]
Elissa Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:46 pm (Quote)
It’s good pelvic floor training too! Don’t wanna lose my bus money…
[Reply]
jenni Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 4:26 am (Quote)
monkey wrench, coke bottle, garden hose, deck of cards, banana (these are all from a book titled “Virgins” and a scene where a cross-dressed male student who snuck in to the Catholic girls school as part of a practical joke during their sex ed seminar gets caught and is “confessing” afterwards)
[Reply]
Karolyn Mac Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 6:23 am (Quote)
Very Priscilla, Queen of the Desert scenario. *smile*
[Reply]
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jun 26, 2011 @ 6:50 pm (Quote)
Wow, this here doc is really anxious to have a patient who can figure out her own anatomy (or at least give a solid try) without asking an MD’s permission.
[Reply]
What else have I placed in my vagina? Oh, you know, all kinds of things. My car keys, my wallet, my cell phone, chapstick, a white rabbit, a string of magician’s hankies. I thought it was a catch-all for when I didn’t have enough pockets. WTF do you think I’ve been putting in there?
[Reply]
OMFG the things that have been inside vaginas, have you NOT heard of the porn industry!!! UM… dude vibrators, birth control, tampons, my hubby, and OMG a baby or two!! I am sorry but if this was me I would have really f@#!*ed with this OB and said seriously, is fisting NOT ok?
[Reply]
“Your Mom”
I can’t think of a better use of a “yo mama” joke than this right here.
And yes, I checked my own cervix plenty during pregnancy, that way I wouldn’t have to go in every single one of the 20+ times I had tons of preterm contractions.
[Reply]
Mary Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:10 pm (Quote)
I just cleaned the screen and now I have to do it again!
OMG, that’s hysterical!!!!
[Reply]
Argentina Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:37 pm (Quote)
That was my EXACT thought… damn you beat me to it… hahahah
[Reply]
Brenda Reply:
July 6th, 2011 at 11:02 pm (Quote)
If I hadn’t known how to check my own cervix I wouldn’t have known to go in at all. They were shocked to find me silently dilating at 24 weeks… I doubt my twins would be here now if I hadn’t gone in and insisted, yet they still gave me a hard time about knowing my own body.
[Reply]
Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jun 26, 2011 @ 7:33 pm (Quote)
“What else have I placed in my vagina? Well, it’s certainly a handy place to carry a roll of $100 bills or a few balloons of coke.”
[Reply]
first time mommy Reply:
June 26th, 2011 at 7:50 pm (Quote)
*snorts* that comment reminded me of this chick
http://perezhilton.com/2011-03-18-woman-hides-drugs-cash-in-vagina-arrested-scranton
[Reply]
Well, you know, Doc, it wasn’t *my* vagina, but a friend of mine told me about the night a drunken lady friend of his lubed up his Glock and stuck it up hers. He was quite impressed, actually. But I’m not really into guns, so I don’t plan on doing *that* anytime soon.
[Reply]
While this thread is hilarious, the fact is that the OB was trying to shame the mother about her own body and acting as if she had some kind of unnatural fetish.
If a doctor has a problem with vaginas, I would suggest a different specialty, like podiatry.
[Reply]
Tara Rose Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 6:43 am (Quote)
No, not podiatry. Can you imagine the lecture that would come from just clipping one’s own toenails? Or a foot massage? No, S/he would need to choose a medical specialty where patients can’t touch his “special working area.” Maybe a cardiologist? Or a doctor of that terrible spot in the middle of your back that you can never itch properly? Yeah, make him/her a doctor of that!
[Reply]
Jane Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 6:54 am (Quote)
I don’t know. I mean, imagine if the patient came in with high cholesterol? “Don’t ever put McDonalds food inside yourself! What else have you placed in your blood stream!?” I figured with podiatry, at least, his or her patients couldn’t put anything *in* their feet. Other than flip-flops, most people don’t put things between their toes. 
[Reply]
Charity had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 4:46 am (Quote)
I can’t help but giggle a little at this post. Does this OB honestly think women shouldn’t know their own bodies well enough and shouldn’t check themselves? Well, I guess so… Most OBs like to have patients who follow blindly. *sigh*
And I gotta ask… Did he/she expect an answer of “Nothing, I swear!”? Why would this patient be seeing an OB if *something* foreign hadn’t entered? LOL
[Reply]
Charity Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 4:49 am (Quote)
That being said, I had to laugh at my family practitioner when I went in for my annual last year. I told her that I checked myself during my unassisted homebirth and she looked at me wide-eyed. “You know how to check yourself? I can’t even do that!” Um… How can I trust her to give me a proper PAP if she doesn’t even know her own body well enough? While I realize a lot of women aren’t flexible enough to do that, don’t admit that to a patient!
[Reply]
Kat Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 6:23 am (Quote)
Yeah, my fingers aren’t long enough to check myself once I get to a certain point of labor.
However, once I’d had 2 babies (first one unnecessarily induced and medicated, second completely unmedicated) every labor after that I’ve been fairly accurately able to determine how close I am by how I’m feeling, without checking. Just watch this next kid shock me by changing the game completely… 
[Reply]
Jessica Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am (Quote)
In your doctor’s defense, she may have meant she can’t feel deep enough to check herself. I have that problem and it really ticks me off because I would love to know how my cervix is doing. It does seem strange, though, that she’s surprised women can actually examine their own bodies.
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 10:16 am (Quote)
Me, too. I once posted on a message board I frequent wondering if I was the only one who couldn’t feel my cervix when I was pregnant and got electronically spanked, saying I shouldn’t be trying that since I didn’t know what I was doing and could cause all sorts of problems.
[Reply]
Sheva Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 1:09 pm (Quote)
What kind of problems? Self-knowledge?
[Reply]
Lisa Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 2:48 pm (Quote)
Oh, I’d get germs up there (because I don’t know how to wash my hands), I could hurt something (because I wouldn’t know to stop doing something if it hurt), or I could accidentally break my water (because I have crochet hooks instead of fingernails. Did I mention I had asked if anyone else COULDN’T reach their cervix? How the hell would I accidentally break my water if I couldn’t even reach it?).
[Reply]
juliewashere88 had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 7:13 am (Quote)
WTF?! Seriously, WTF?!
That’s about all that I can articulate right now. Wow, some Drs really do think that they own women.
[Reply]
Twinkle lights, vacuums, unicorns, time bombs, doulas…you know, all those things I want to bring into the hospital with me.
[Reply]
Aron Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 8:39 am (Quote)
According to an earlier post, the hospital already comes equipped with twinkle lights. It’s the “seance drums” that you’ll need to bring on your own.
[Reply]
awww, no glitter? 
[Reply]
Samantha Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 1:57 pm (Quote)
I was listening to the radio one morning YEARS ago, when a woman told a story about going to see her GYN, and when he was leaving the room made a comment how no one had ever decorated themselves for him. She had no idea what he meant, until her daughter asked what happened to the wash clothes she had used to clean up some glitter, the same wash cloth the woman had used before her appointment to freshen up with. She was horrible embarrassed.
[Reply]
lilmrsmchenry had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 3:15 pm (Quote)
Does this tirade continue with, “If you do you will get hairy palms and go blind!!!”?
[Reply]
Mama Wrench had this to say,
Jun 27, 2011 @ 4:41 pm (Quote)
I have to say, in terms of pure batshit crazy, this is probably my favorite one so far. Kinda makes me wish this OB could see my sex toy collection. =-D
[Reply]
“Oh, I dunno…” (NSFW)
[Reply]
Jespren had this to say,
Jun 28, 2011 @ 5:54 pm (Quote)
I am (perhaps inapropriately but not bizarely) reminded of a famous European prostitute from the 1700 (or early 1800)s, who, having become very ‘loose’ due to standard type prostitute diseases made money (quite a lot in fact) by reclining on her shoulders, head down and tail up, and letting rich men toss money into her or pay to poor champaign (only the expensive stuff apparently) into her. Read about it in one of those ‘well behaved women rarely make history’ books…which is really just wrong on so many levels but hey, funny in comparision to this moron!
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jun 29, 2011 @ 2:10 pm (Quote)
Translation:
“It’s MY sterile field, now! MINE! MINE! From now until you go into labour, most likely with the aid of Pitocin, or until I cut you open and DELIVER your baby abdominally, that vagina belongs to ME! ME ME ME ME ME!”
All your parts are belong to us!
You are PWNED.
Oh, and I’d like you to ask my permission before you have any kind of sexual activity, too, and I’d like you to be specific when you ask. Purely professional reasons, of course.
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
What a dummy. If I can’t put my own fingers in there, which are all covered in bacteria that my body is already familiar with, I’m sure as hell not letting YOU put yours in there, doc.
[Reply]
Kali Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 8:45 pm Kali(Quote)
really!!
[Reply]