Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Jun
14
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“No, You’re Lying…”
“No you’re lying. Your pain is starting by your ribs and going down, not at your cesarean section scar and going up. This pain has *NOTHING* to do with your pregnancy.” – OB to mother at 16 weeks who was being seen for lower pelvic pain.
There are 34 comments to this post.
WTF? I think the person complaining about the pain would know how it feels. Besides, why would the mother lie? It’s not like she’s able to get a prescription of gnarly pain meds so she’s making something up to get the doctor to write her one. This OB is a total ass and I hope the OP fired him/her immediately after this despicable comment.
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Time for a brand new doctor. Any time the doctor says the patient is lying, there is no more professional rapport.
That’s not even addressing the fact that the doctor wants to tell the mother what she’s feeling.
ANd honestly, why would the mother lie? What does she stand to gain? She’s pregnant — it’s not like she’s going to score painkillers or something like that. And the doctor’s not even denying she’s in pain. S/he’s just saying the pain starts in a different place. Oy!
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Caryn Weber had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 10:12 am (Quote)
Then just what does the pain have to do with? How in the hell would he know which way the pain is radiating in her body. He doesn’t have the c-section scar, he’s not the one that went through it. Gah!!!! I hate uncompassionate, idiotic doctors.
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…because as we all know, scar sites never experience lingering pain. *eye roll*
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Angelica Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 11:00 am (Quote)
I know, right? My son had a cleft lip repair a year and a half ago. HE still sometimes starts crying and saying “Owie! Mouf! Nose!” for what appears to be no reason. His pediatrician said it’s been so long, that’s impossible for it to hurt still. I called his old plastic surgeon and he said it was a definite possibility, and to give him some Tylenol and massage it when it hurt. Scars can tighten and get hard, especially when they’re somewhat new and it pulls on the tissue around it, causing pain. I wish doctors realized that just because they went to the same med school as other doctors doesn’t mean they know everything.
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SculptorAlison Reply:
June 18th, 2011 at 9:29 pm (Quote)
I had brain surgery 13 years ago and my scar still aches sometimes. Not very often, but it’s definitely not my imagination. Massaging it definitely helps.
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Jenny Islander had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 10:42 am (Quote)
To any OBs, medical students, etc., who are reading here: There is no excuse, at all, ever, for saying things like this. I should not have to explain why. If you can’t figure out why on your own, FIND SOME OTHER PROFESSION BEFORE YOU CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE!
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 10:59 am (Quote)
Let’s try this again, Doc!
“You know, I just realized I made a grave error in judgment when I chose OB/GYN as my sub-specialty. I’m going to leave my colleague to consult with you while I go pack up my desk, before I do you any more damage. I think Pathology is more my speed.”
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Thanks doc For letting me know what an @$$ you are and that I should take my body and baby to someone caring and understanding 
….
But why do I get the feeling this is a second pregnancy and that this * wonderful nugget* was said by the same doc that gave the scar, during a previous delievery?
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Christina Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 11:27 am (Quote)
That was my thought too. Sounds like the doc a touch defensive.
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Details Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 12:58 pm (Quote)
Mother at 16 weeks with a previous cesarean. Couldn’t possibly be that the layers are shifting and causing a problem. The sOB would have to acknowledge that his work was less than perfect before he could admit that the pain just might be coming from the scare. Still that sounds more likely than his patient lying to him, and way more reasonable than calling her a lair to her face. Somehow I can’t picture this piece of work being supportive of a VBAC. I hope the OP ran!
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So now docs know the future, the past, *and* they can feel your pain better than you can?
It’s a sick, sick thing to blame the victim for lying.
OP, I’m so sorry.
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Sheva Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 11:38 am (Quote)
Patient, not victim. Sorry, I just finished writing a paper for school and was still on a different topic in my brain.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 1:18 pm (Quote)
Oh, I don’t know. Describing obstetrics in terms of perpetrator and victim seems about right to me, at least, for most of the exchanges I read here.
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Sheva Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 2:05 pm (Quote)
I agree, and I considered leaving it. But I didn’t want to be called out on getting all melodramatic.
But women who are abused by healthcare providers are by definition victims.
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
June 15th, 2011 at 6:01 am (Quote)
Oh, I definitely agree. I wrote this post awhile back – substitute the word patient for ‘victim’ and perpetrator for OB – a recipe for disaster.
http://thederangedhousewifeonline.blogspot.com/2010/05/are-you-in-abusive-relationship-with.html
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Lindsey had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 11:43 am (Quote)
W. T. F?!?!
Was this Doc serious? That is like a patient going in for ear pain being caused by an infection and being told “Nope, you don’t have ear pain, its in your sinuses”… It’s plausible but why not listen to the patient?!?
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Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 3:03 pm (Quote)
And it’s totally okay if you go to the dentist, who say, “No, that’s actually not tooth pain. It’s sinus pain. Watch — I’ll isolate the tooth, and the pain will still be there.”
And then, when the doctor numbs the tooth and nothing happens to the pain, you say, “Thank you. I’ll call my ENT now.”
I’ve had pain radiate to the strangest places, but if the doctor can tell me WHY it’s not what I think, perfectly fine. None of them ever said I was lying, though. They just said, “You’re feeling it HERE, but it’s coming from here. Watch what happens when I do this–” and then they tap or push something and I yelp and they say, “See? Now here’s what I want you to do…” and we go on with our lives.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 1:15 pm (Quote)
Gaslighting is not an approved treatment per the terms of my health coverage. You’ll have to try a more evidence-based approach. I suggest differential diagnosis.
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Okay, 1. I’m assuming mom told him where the pain was starting and going, but that doesn’t excuse anything that came out of his mouth there.
I had a doctor on a trip like that once. I passed a kidney stone–it was absolutely horribly pain, started in my abdomen and radiated to my back (I think it was my kidneys). Well, my EMT-in-training friend took me to the hospital, so she was there to stick up for me when the doctor said I had a bruised tailbone and gave me a pain pill.
Um, after I peed, the pain disappeared and there was the stone in the bedpan (that my friend had to take to the lab, because the nurses didn’t want to do their job–one came in about an hour after she took it down to ask for it). He said that my sample was normal (WTF?) and that since my back hurt (my ABDOMEN HURT, but he, of course, focused on where the pain was radiating TO not where it was from), even though I had not suffered any falls in my memory (Oh, it could be from years ago, he b.s.ed), it had to be a bruised tailbone. No chance it was anything else.
So, sometimes doctors just don’t effing listen. And yeah, he was rude and belligerent to me and hurt me when he palpated me when we argued that it had nothing to do with my back.
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This doctor wasn’t even my primary OB, nor did he care that I was a high risk patient. It was revealed 3 weeks later at the anomaly scan that my daughter was actually stuck head down in my pelvic bone. She remained there until I delivered at 39 weeks even after my primary high risk OB tried to dislodge her.
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Jane Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 4:44 pm (Quote)
Unreal. Did the other OBs in the practice ream out this guy?
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Ashley Reply:
June 14th, 2011 at 4:54 pm (Quote)
Oh yeah, he got in a lot of trouble for the way he handled the whole appointment. Immediately following this gem of a statement he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. He literally left me laying on the full raised table with my shirt up to my bra without saying another word. A nurse came in about 5 minutes later just as confused as I was. Apparently I was supposed to realize that that meant the appointment was over and I could leave.
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Jun 14, 2011 @ 6:40 pm (Quote)
My c-section scar still hurts/has numb spots, 20 months after surgery. I’m TERRIFIED for what it will feel like as this pregnancy goes along, and how much worse it might feel if I end up with another c-section. My abdomen never healed right (one side of my abs is noticeably further protruded from the incision site than the other) and yet two midwives and one OB have all told me everything is healed perfectly, there’s no reason I should still be having problems, it will eventually go away on its own.
Wish I could get in on a bit of that clairvoyance. I’m sure it would come in handy when selecting my next OB.
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details Reply:
June 15th, 2011 at 6:23 am (Quote)
Good luck with your VBAC. If by chance you end up with another c-section, you should know they cut out the old scar tissue and throw it away. My first scar was lopsided: two different people must have started at each side and not exactly met in the middle. My second scar was beautiful, at least in comparison to the one I carried for so many years. The third one was staples. Staples suck. The resulting scar is fine, it was never ugly like the first one, but not seamless like the second one. I never had pain or numb spots with any of them. Maybe somebody can recommend a cure for you.
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Oh my… jaw on floor and can’t even guess. Oh my
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