May 28

“The Floor Is Too Full, This Is Taking Too Long. Let Me Hold Open Your Cervix While You Push.”

“The floor is too full, this is taking too long. Let me hold open your cervix while you push.” – Certified Nurse Midwife to mother in labor.

86 people dislike these words.

There are 23 comments to this post.

Jane had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:13 pm (Quote)

Floor is too full? Not mom’s problem.

You don’t feel like being there? Not mom’s problem.

Do your darned job.

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Kasondra had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:15 pm (Quote)

I am firmly crossing my legs right now.

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Heather P Reply:
May 28th, 2011 at 6:32 pm Heather P(Quote)

I am too, but I didn’t notice until you said so. Even my hubby did after I read him this comment.

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Disgusted had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:20 pm (Quote)

That’s a really good way to give her a swollen cervix. Way to go.

THIS is why I’d rather have my baby in a broom closet than a hospital.

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Serena26 Reply:
May 29th, 2011 at 10:15 am Serena26(Quote)

I actually had a dream that I had to go to the hospital to give birth because my midwife could not come for the homebirth. The hospital was so disturbing and loud, I said to my hubby – let’s find a more private place, so I laboured in the broom closet in the hospital.Then I just squatted and the baby was out

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Heather had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:31 pm (Quote)

WTF? Um, NO! Go bother someone else if there’s so much for you to do!

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Cassaundra had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:32 pm (Quote)

screw you, I’ll go birth in the doctor’s lounge

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Alyson Miers had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:33 pm (Quote)

I actually cringed out loud when I saw this on Twitter, it sounds so painful.

BAD midwife! BAD! *smacks nose with rolled-up newspaper*

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Sada had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:34 pm (Quote)

I don’t even know where to start with what’s wrong with this

OP, I hope you fired her on the spot!! And then reported her to the hospital and state licensing board, and filed a complaint with her malpractice insurer!!

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Jessica had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 6:37 pm (Quote)

No offense, but this is a first come, first served type of business. The other ladies will just have to wait… unless you really want to leave me here alone, and I’ll birth by myself. Seems better for baby and me anyway.

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Megan had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 7:07 pm (Quote)

I have of course heard of pushing through a small “lip” of a cervix left over, but how much cervix was this midwife trying to “hold open”??

I love my CNM. but her and i both talk about the crazy things we see CNM/OB’s doing on those crazy TLC shows. This is one of those moments. . . The last moment was on the show “A baby story” when the CNM said the mom was dilated outside 6 and inside 3-4 and that she needed to do a U/S to determine if she was feeling the inside of her cervix or her babies anus. ANUS. dilated 3-4??? all i could think of was “GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF THAT BABIES BUTT!” but thank god the baby wasn’t breech and mom was indeed dilated.

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xanthina had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 7:43 pm (Quote)

Um… no. Just no. No on SO many levels.

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Jo Ella had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 7:44 pm (Quote)

I am sooooooo glad I birth at home.. not too full here.. jeez..

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Joanna had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 8:29 pm (Quote)

This is when I’d be uttering death threats.

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Josie had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 9:54 pm (Quote)

OMG I cannot even begin to imagine how bad that would hurt. I felt like throwing up when I read it. This person should NOT be a midwife!

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Laura had this to say, May 28, 2011 @ 10:18 pm (Quote)

I’m not sure I can move my legs far enough apart to WALK for the next several hours, they are so firmly pressed together. OMG.

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Dawn had this to say, May 29, 2011 @ 7:25 pm (Quote)

Nurse did do this to me with my 6th baby. I had what she called a “lip” and she kept her fingers in me and stretched me when I was having contractions. I don’t know how many contractions she did this through. It was horrible. I was violated. Turned out baby was OP and when the OB figured that out, he said, “get her moving.” Baby turned 10 minutes after he said this and came out in 2 pushes. I wish medical people would keep hands off unless baby needs to come out NOW!

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Cara had this to say, May 29, 2011 @ 9:02 pm (Quote)

Search “power birth” or “power birthing”. There are a bunch of midwives who do this to women…

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Dawn Reply:
May 30th, 2011 at 8:37 am Dawn(Quote)

There’s a name for it? Ugh.

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Fire Dancer had this to say, May 30, 2011 @ 10:47 am (Quote)

The reason that medical people do not keep their hands off is because they want to feel like they are doing something instead of just standing there twiddling their thumbs. Now, when I was giving birth to my son over 2 years ago, my midwife was stretching my perinium so that I would not tare, but I did not know this until I was told afterward because I could not feel her fingers in there to stretch the opening.that is so much better than appesiotomies which I have never had done. I heard that they are hell to recover from though. Now if she was in a hurry and wanted to hold back the servix, I would have said hell no to that. Thank goodness for “compatent” midwifes who don’t practice painful procedures on the mother and who do not encourage the use of pain killing drugs ,as well as free standing birth centers.

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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say, May 30, 2011 @ 11:44 am (Quote)

She sounds like one of those new “Power Birth” trained midwives. If so, RUN AWAY! Or at least kick her away from your cervix. (If you don’t know what Power Birth is, look it up. Scary.)

At the very least, she sounds callous and manipulative: let’s make Mum guilty about “taking too long” and “monopolizing” bed space and a midwife’s precious time, so that she’ll cave in and let the midwife perform a dangerous and painful intervention to hurry things along and make the birth more convenient for her schedule. Another good excuse for running away, or kicking.

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