Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
May
22
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…You’ll Be Able To Park A Mack Truck In There!”
“I prefer an episiotomy. An episiotomy is much better than allowing it to stretch all out. If it gets all stretched out, you’ll be able to park a Mack truck in there and what kind of qualify of sex life will you have if that happens?” – OB
There are 48 comments to this post.
Jerk.
Not to mention, what he says is false.
I’m pretty sure he’s talking about the partner’s sex life, not the mother’s.
The sex life of a woman who stretched and un-stretched is way better than the sex life of a woman who was cut and resewn.
And the possibility of sewing it up wrong is very real.
One more thing – does this man ever, er, get larger? By his logic he should be having to roll it up every morning at this point, since stretched skin doesn’t contract back. Idiot.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 6:34 pm (Quote)
Take the last train to Roissy, and I’ll meet you at the station…
Sorry about butchering the Monkees, there, but I felt it needed to be said.
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Details Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:44 am (Quote)
But the problem is he actually believes this. I don’t think he is lying. I think this is his belief system. To talk him out of it would be like arguing religion. The only thing to do here is say well if that is how you feel I won’t be continuing under your care. And walk out. If you argue with him he will just think you are stupid. Afterall, he has done it how many times. If he actually came to the realization that he has been injuring women for how many years he might have a nervous breakdown. and he has plenty of proof that he is a genius because he made it into and out of medical school so he must be smarter than average. What is the liklihood that you know something that he doesn’t.
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Alyssa had this to say,
May 22, 2011 @ 4:20 pm (Quote)
This is the exact reason why men should NEVER be allowed to have anything to do with women giving birth or womens vaginas period
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Fiona Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 4:56 pm (Quote)
Actually, I’m quite a fan of my husband having something to do with my vagina. 
I’m also quite a fan of tactful, informed health care providers, regardless of sex or gender.
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K Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 8:45 pm (Quote)
Aw 
There are some truly skilled and compassionate male OBs (and CNMs!) out there.
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Details Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 4:58 am (Quote)
Have you noticed how many times the truly disgusting things here are said by female OB’s? Let me let you in on a little secret, women who excel and go into male dominated fields often are very good at copying the good old boys in charge. If her professor or attending told her that an episiotomy will save a woman from years of bad sex because of “Mack truck Syndrome” that female med student or intern is just as likely to accept and believe as her male conterparts. At the same time if the experienced Doc in charge is Dr. Fogelson and he tells his interns that episiotomy and immediate cord clamping are a thing of the past the result will be that they look at the other doctors who still do those outdated things as dinosaurs. It all depends on what their authority figure tells them. Before they become doctors they must be straight A students and not many straight A student question authority. Those are what we call B students. They do all the real inventing and make the significant changes. A students just parot back what they were told with amazing accuracy. But my point was the girls have to hit the 110% mark to equal the boys 100%.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
May 24th, 2011 at 7:25 am (Quote)
“Men are evil, but women are mean.” – Nietzsche We can be really nasty, especially to each other. Also, I think there’s more of a sense of betrayal when a female OB or midwife says something callous, commits malpractice, etc. We’re expecting sisterhood and support. Instead, we get rivalry, incompetence, bullying, roughness, self-serving micromanagement, or plain old nastiness.
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The only one whose opinion matters isn’t complaining. And FYI it has to do with muscle tone, not how ‘stretched out’ things are. Check out the menstrual cup market. The difference between sizes (in the DivaCup at least) is 3 millimeters.
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Jane Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 5:18 pm (Quote)
Oh, wow — that’s good! Because a doctor can believe any fairy tale s/he wants to, but the people who are selling an actual product *must* make sure it works with the population they’re selling to, otherwise no one will buy it.
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Amber Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 12:13 pm (Quote)
That is actually the single most comforting thing I’ve ever heard about stretching after childbirth!
Jane you’re so right, those specs have to correct or the product to be marketable and the difference between the pre-child birth/under 30 model & the after child birth cup are minuscule! It really is in the Dr’s heads!
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Aylene Reply:
May 24th, 2011 at 11:05 am (Quote)
I’m so glad someone finally said this. All the comments where you girls quoted so-called “experts” on how vaginal birth was supposed to “destroy you down there” make me sick. Sick that there’s people out there who will sell that bull*** in an “expert” capacity.
Sexual pleasure for our partners comes from our muscle tone within our vagina, as you say Elizabeth, not from the skin around it.
If any of you are worried, I’d suggest doing some Kegel exercises – they strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which are the ones that allow you to squeeze your vagina tighter … sorry if I’m being graphical here, but my partner will testify to their effectiveness 
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why is it so OK for a man’s skin to expand but not a womans? and we know and expect a certain organ on a man to expand and em… shrink many, many, many times and still think its cool, but if a woman’s expands ONCE creating a miricle, its now broken.
If that was true, then nobody would have more than one kid unless they had a c-section or an episiotomy. because after baby sex wouldnt happen! so all the families who have lots of kids must have 1. lots of c-sections, 2. lots of episiotomies, 3. man parts the size of mack trucks or 4. babies the size of barbies.
and since 3 and 4 arent true for ANYBODY…… either 1 and 2 are or this OB is full of shit.
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liz had this to say,
May 22, 2011 @ 5:28 pm (Quote)
with my last birth I tore so badly internally the Ob said I was mush. they did major reconstructive surgery to put me back together. when I came out of surgery the Ob said ‘things will be MUCH better for you now, I sewed you up tight as a teenager.’ thank you dr. because now I not only have to go through the pain of healing from my surgery but I get to experience the pain of having to be stretched again. the sad thing is that she knew that I had vaginismus at one point due to trauma from the pain of my first bith. What on earth was she thinking!
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Eileen Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 5:53 pm (Quote)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (and again and again, because I’m so glad someone said it to me): there are physical therapists out there who specialize in pelvic floor muscles. Seriously. Life-freaking-changing. So if it’s still an issue, you can ask your OBGYN if she knows of one!
Also, sorry this happened to you, I had many years of painful sex so I get how that absolutely sucks.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 6:32 pm (Quote)
Usually it’s the male OBs that are obsessed with sewing up reconstructed woman parts so that the wearers of those parts will be “as tight as virgins” (notice I did not say the owners, because to the sort of person who thinks a woman’s value to her partner lies in being tight and available, it’s her partner that owns the vagina, the woman in question merely wears it).
To hear this spew coming from a woman is either pathetic or evidence of serious nastiness and vindictiveness. No way of telling which applies without knowing the context. Either way, though, it’s wrong.
And do look for a physical therapist, and/or a gynecologist who specializes in undoing “husband stitches” and similar travesties.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
May 22, 2011 @ 6:27 pm (Quote)
OMFG.
1) Ever heard of Kegels? They’re not exactly new. According to anthropologist Reay Tannahill in her book _Sex In History_, hundreds of years ago, Persian courtesans that were able to get male clients off by doing what we would call Kegels around their members were paid very highly for what they did. Kegels are good for vaginal muscle tone. Which means it is possible to be both tight AND flexible.
2) Episiotomy with “husband stitch” makes the woman tight, sure. It also makes sex very painful. Not that the woman is important, in the eyes of the OB/GYN in question. Don’t you just love being reduced to the stature of a device? “Sex object” doesn’t have quite the same impact it should; Marilyn Monroe has been described as a sex object, and we still see her as human, even iconic. No, the word I think fits best is “device.” Your role, apparently, is to fit your partner tightly enough to get him off. There are special cuffs on the market for about $20 or $30 that do the same thing when the man squeezes a bulb and makes the sleeve tighten and loosen up rhythmically. That’s for the men whose forearms get tired, I guess.
This sOB is disgusting.
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
May 22, 2011 @ 7:07 pm (Quote)
That’s a really interesting use of “prefer” here when talking about someone else’s body.
And hey, we don’t know yet; this might be a female OB who’s birthed one or more kids with episiotomies, so maybe she does prefer cut n’ sew on her own vagina to stretch n’ spring. Either way, though, the patient is someone else, and it’s her body they’re talking about, so unless it’s a matter of the mother’s or baby’s health, what the OB “prefers” shouldn’t even be in the discussion. “Well, it won’t make you any healthier, and it won’t do anything for your baby, but I prefer you to walk out of the hospital with stitches in your vagina.” Yeah, right.
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Hmmmmmm, after 2 vaginal births I still sometimes have trouble accomodating my boyfriend. We work around it. Other than the stretchmarks decorating it, my lady bits seem to be in BETTER shape than before I had kids!
I know people who have had stitches and had real issues with being stitched up badly after unwanted episiotomies. I count myself so lucky that I’ve managed to avoid them and have been able to get busy with the boyfriend 3 or 4 weeks after birth. So doc, if you’re so concerned about your patients sex lives, maybe dont slice up their bits?
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Because as we all know…the best way to make a hole smaller and tighter is to cut it much larger than necessary. I guess if we follow that logic, they better start cutting C sections from the bottom of the chin to the kneecaps to ensure a small, neat scar, right???
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ummm 3 vaginal births ;ater (there was a c-section in there too)and both my husband and i are enjoying each other more than ever, thank you very much! the first 2 months of our marriage was NO fun and it’s only gotten better with each baby so I call bull on this “let’s make you nice and tight” crap!
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Jessica had this to say,
May 23, 2011 @ 12:06 pm (Quote)
Would this happen to be a mack truck manufactured by hotwheels by chance? I think even that would have a difficult time parking inside a vagina. My hubby’s penile circumference is nowhere what my babies’ head circumferences were, but I can still feel it during sex. Gee, could it be that the vaginal tissue shrank back to normal size after birth? It isn’t exactly as it was prior to birth but neither is one which has been surgically modified. Either way, I’m going to ave an altered vagina. I’d rather have one mother nature provided than one a doctor sliced apart and squished back together.
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It wouldn’t surprise me if all the kegels we do to get back in shape make us “tighter” AFTER a birth. (I didn’t tear with my 9lb baby so maybe I was already in the Mack Truck range).
Funny thing, though: After my 2nd birth, everything was very soft down there; “mushy” I guess you could say. Then, lo and behold, slowly over the next several weeks it firmed back up, and now it’s just the way it was! My body actually recovered! How often does that happen?
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1. I am not a truck stop.
2. This is not about you – your “preference” doesn’t count.
3. Unless you’re planning one WHOPPER of an episiotomy……sorry, had to uncross my eyes and toes before I could keep typing that thought…..those tissues are going to stretch regardless. My baby is bigger than a penis. Lacerating my genitals is not going to keep me from stretching, just increase the likelihood of further injury due to even deeper tearing.
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lilmrsmchenry had this to say,
May 24, 2011 @ 7:10 pm (Quote)
The 6 week break from sex after all 5 of my vaginal births accomplished 2 things.
1) I was tighter then ever.
2) Hubby could care less how tight it was as long as he got some.
This is even after all the perineum massages done in the last trimester to loosen me up to prevent tearing.
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Because as we all know, once skin expands, it NEVER goes back to normal. And most newborns are the size of a Mack truck. And it’s good medical practice to initiate a medical procedure on one patient for the comfort of the doctor and the sexual concerns of the patient’s partner.
Bleh.
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