May 22

“Only The Anal Ones Make Birth Plans Still.”

“Only the anal ones make birth plans still.” – OB to mother at 35 weeks who had asked if new parents still make birth plans.

64 people dislike these words.

There are 15 comments to this post.

Jane had this to say, May 22, 2011 @ 6:00 pm (Quote)

Oh, good, because I’m a total control freak. :#)

[Reply]

Kristin Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 6:24 pm Kristin(Quote)

Me too!
I mean, does anyone believe EVERYTHING that comes out of a doctor’s mouth (like “recommendations”) these days?

[Reply]

KellyK had this to say, May 22, 2011 @ 6:06 pm (Quote)

Well hello doc nice to meet you I am Mrs. Butthole. My birth plan is to protect my child and if you think I am anal for having one just do something that harms my child and you will see just how anal I am

[Reply]

Kat had this to say, May 22, 2011 @ 6:34 pm (Quote)

Do doctors still “punish” women for having birthplans?

Oh, only the control freak ones with a God complex who do not believe in open and honest communication with their patients still do that.

[Reply]

Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 6:43 pm Sarah Dorrance-Minch(Quote)

That would be five or six out of ten. Another three or four out of ten lack the god complex, but they’re so paranoid that they either don’t want to commit to a birth plan on paper (never mind that it’s not a commitment!) or constantly admonish their “patients” that anything can go wrong at any time, so the birth plan may need to be scrapped.

The other ten or less percent of OBs are wonderful, but hard to find.

[Reply]

Nicci P Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 3:05 am Nicci P(Quote)

They certainly do in the UK

Or at least they do in my local hospital (which was recently named as having one of the worst maternity wards in the country and placed under special measures by the government so I guess it might be better in other UK hospitals)… PTSD is not the nicest way to begin motherhood.

I had an unassisted birth for my 2nd baby. I wasnt brave enough to venture back to that hospital!

[Reply]

Cynthia had this to say, May 22, 2011 @ 6:40 pm (Quote)

And here I thought I was going for a VAGINAL birth!

[Reply]

Heather P Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 6:49 pm Heather P(Quote)

Rootbeer, spewed.

[Reply]

Louisa Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 11:58 pm Louisa(Quote)

ROLF!!! Good one.

[Reply]

Dreamy Reply:
May 23rd, 2011 at 12:24 pm Dreamy(Quote)

I must be an 11-year-old boy, because I had the exact same thought.

[Reply]

Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say, May 22, 2011 @ 6:40 pm (Quote)

No, my birth plan does not involve pushing the baby out through my anus. My vagina will do just fine.

Oh, and it also does not include retaining disrespectful, controlling, patronizing twits, so that leaves you out. I’ll go look for somebody else, now.

[Reply]

JoAnna had this to say, May 23, 2011 @ 7:44 am (Quote)

Both my OB and the hospital I deliver at encourage women to make birth plans. *thumbs up* Take that, Dr. Head-Up-Ass!

[Reply]

jenni had this to say, May 23, 2011 @ 9:27 am (Quote)

logic, pure and simple. you can’t go to a resteraunt pay money and just expect them to give you what you want unless you ASK for it. a birth plan is your request for certain things- some moms want an epidural, they ASK for it, some moms want baby to be put on their belly straight away, some don’t know, its simply putting in a request. of course, some resteraunts have shrimp and some don’t, but you still have to ask for the steak if you want that instead of the chicken.

oh, and my birth preferences was the best thing i ever did for me and my son. it was like instructions for the nurses, they didnt have a problem modifying things to meet my preferences in the instances allowed. If there had been other complications i see how things might have been different, but when possible i wanted certain things, and i had to ask for them to get them.

[Reply]

KellyK had this to say, May 24, 2011 @ 4:42 am (Quote)

and another rant on this. My birth plan is not for “my” birth experience. My birth plan is about what is best for my baby. When you become a parent it isn’t about you anymore especially in the beginning. I am my child’s advocate and the difference between life and death because they can not do one single thing on their own.

[Reply]