Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
May
11
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…When You’re Looking At A Lot Of Women’s Cervices…There Are Some Really Ugly Ones!”
“You have a beautiful cervix. When you’re looking at a lot of women’s cervices all day there are some really ugly ones!” – Nurse Practitioner to mother during a pap smear.
There are 25 comments to this post.
Do proctologists also tell their patients, “You have a really handsome butt-hole?”
Beautiful cervix… I suppose you meant it as a compliment, but keep your opinions about my physical characteristics o yourself….
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Beautiful Cervix Mama! had this to say,
May 11, 2011 @ 1:45 pm (Quote)
This was my post. I’m currently pregnant with baby #4 and seeing a High Risk group because of a previous c-section.
Anyway I actually said back to her, “Um…I don’t know what to say to that…thanks I guess…I’ll put that in my list of favorite features along with my legs and eyes!”
She then tried to “explain” herself and that’s when she said the 2nd sentence that when you look at women’s cervices all day there are some ugly ones”
So the comment is split up between what I said back to her. What’s funny is that right after it happened I thought about this website and thought, “I have a submission!!” LOL
I figure she’s with a High Risk group and probably does see some “ugly” ones meaning that some of their patients don’t “function” correctly?? She’s super nice, but it was a weird comment.
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road2vba2c had this to say,
May 11, 2011 @ 1:46 pm (Quote)
I’d rather hear this than, “Oh my word, your cervix is hideous! Hey, Nancy, check out this lady’s cervix, it’s horrible!”
I had an experience like the above before in a medical (non-gynecological) setting. I had an allergic reaction to a spider bite and went to the ER. When the doctor came in she said, “Oh my GOD! I’ve never seen anything like this before!” She opens the door and says, “Joe, get in here and check this out! It’s freaky!” My mother and I were horrified and frustrated that I was being treated more like a circus sideshow than a patient.
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Um yeah- I don’t need to hear any judgments about my body or its parts from you, or any comparisons in anything but a medical way.
For future reference:
Your iron levels are lower than average and you would benefit from supplements or a change in diet= OK.
You have a pretty cervix compared to some of the other ones I see= Not OK.
See the difference? No? Well crap, I tried.
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Lindsey had this to say,
May 11, 2011 @ 10:08 pm (Quote)
Being in the middle of my third trimester with my 8th pregnancy (having only birthed 2 full term babes) I am sure my cervix is not a medical texbooks definition of beautiful (or perfect), neither is my stretchmarked belly, my boggy breasts or my wide hips… Too bad I don’t rely on textbooks (or others opinions) to define my beauty. I am a mother, every mark on my body is a gift from my children, those who are with me and those who aren’t. I appreciate my less than ‘beautiful’ body, thankyouverymuch!
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to be a devil’s advocate (and only because i’ve caught myself saying – or almost saying – similar things in the past…), from the OP’s explanation it sounds like the NP was just making conversation. from the point-of-view of a SNM — that end of a speculum can be an awkward place to be, especially when you are first getting to know your client. *blush* do you talk about the weather? do you talk about her kids/menstrual flow/health? do you not talk? sometimes, dumb things come out… or silly things, like, “you have a beautiful cervix”, or “what a lovely uterus you have!”. strange to some people, maybe, but — is awkward banter better than awkward silence?? (really, that’s what i’m wondering here!! i’m just afraid of ending up as a MOSW shame-story one day!).
(Now, the fact that OP found it odd enough to immediately think of MOSW, rather than just giggling and thinking, “that was a silly thing for her to say!”, means something in itself… but…) and, of course — while i have been guilty of saying, “what a beautiful ____” (cervix, uterus, fetal heart rate, etc, etc), i have never (i hope?) implied that i am comparing them to others.
i am going to shut up now. *blush*
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OP Reply:
May 12th, 2011 at 5:51 am (Quote)
I think I thought of MOSW because I’d been reading these things on and off…not because I’m heartless…not sure exactly what you meant by “means something in itself”
I think also by reading these I was able to say something back to her instead of just sitting there in slience wondering why the heck she would say something like that.
Plus when I submitted, I said I wasn’t sure if it would be a Thoughtful Thursday or a regular submission…I mean it was a “compliment” I guess, and I didn’t take any offense to it…it was just a strange thing to say.
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hebamme Reply:
May 12th, 2011 at 7:40 am (Quote)
oops, i’m sorry!! i was not at all meaning that you were heartless, etc… 
by that, i just meant that the way the NP said it (tone, your rapport/relationship, etc) maybe made it a little ‘weirder’ than it might strike some people… i know if my D.O. said this to me, i might find it a little silly, but like you said, take it as an offbeat compliment in the same way.
(i really shouldn’t comment on these posts – i think it’s hard sometimes to get the right ‘vibe’ across. i think i was coming off a “high” from work — catching a baby that the doc was too slow to meander her way down the hall to catch, yay for mama and babe, for their beautiful, simple birth (at least before the doc made it in and took over for third stage, sigh) — and pondering that every body part, on every woman, is beautiful… whether it is stretched, pink, pocked, dimply, worn, cushy, boney, etc. they all have their purposes, and signs of wear are only testaments to their work. i can see that depending on the relationship/trust/rapport between caregiver and client, though (and word choice/timing), things can come out wrong even when meant in the best possible way.
and some caregivers are just plain asses.
again OP, i’m sorry!! i’m glad you have a lovely cervix, and am sorry that the NP tried to bumble her way through an explanation of comparing it to “ugly cervices” rather than just go on and expand that it’s beautiful because it’s so healthy. 
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OP Reply:
May 12th, 2011 at 8:44 am (Quote)
No problem.
Like I said explaining it, I wasn’t offended. It was just a foot in mouth comment.
I think before reading some of these I would have kept my mouth shut, but I actually had the nerve to say something back “um…I’ll put that on my list of favoriate features!”
I just wasn’t looking for a post or anything but it was funny to me that after it happened I kind of had to laugh and think to myself hey I have a submission 
)
I think if you have a great relationship with your Midwife/nurse/NP then they know what they can say and not say around you and what would be offensive. I’m not offended by much anymore!
I also would have to agree with you that what kind of conversation do you make when you’re doing an exam! LOL I would actually think the best thing to say/do is just be as medical as possible and say basically what you’re doing, not be subjective about beauty )
BTW – AWESOME about catching the baby! I love nurses like you ) (my sister’s nurses held her legs together for 1/2 an hour to not let the baby come until the Dr. got there…my neice fell out onto the bed finally…Dr. was still 10 minutes away)
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How the heck could anyone think this comment would be good or edifying for the woman? No, seriously? Do women really parade around town, thinking, “I’m a beautiful woman. I have a beautiful cervix”?
I’m all for feminine pride, but having it at the expense of thinking many other women out there are “ugly” in a place no one’s ever going to see–that’s not cool.
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Jessers Reply:
May 11th, 2011 at 10:39 am Jessers(Quote)
Exactly! I guess it’s okay to compliment if it means more feminine empowerment, but the comparison is really, really unnecessary and inappropriate.
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