Apr 062011

“The reason you had a miscarriage is because you are fat. You will never carry a pregnancy to term unless you stop eating Big Macs.” – Midwife

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 April 6, 2011  Fatness, Midwife, pregnancy loss  Add comments

  34 Responses to “"You Will Never Carry A Pregnancy To Term Unless You Stop Eating Big Macs."”

  1. Wow. That’s just rude. And a completely unfact based opinion. Midwives should know better.

  2. Wow what an ass. I’ve never had a m/c and my heart goes out to those that have had one. I’m heavy. I’ve always been heavy. I’ve had 4 children, with my last being a freebirth and at that point I’m pretty sure I was close to 300lbs. I have never had an actual complication that wasn’t caused directly by the medical community.

    • Fat Fertile Myrtle… love it LOL! I’m right there with you. DH and I have considered two twin beds, riding to church in separate cars, celibacy… He walks past me and I get pregnant! Furthermore, I’m 35 weeks with my third pregnancy in 4 years, and I’m weighing the least I have with all 3 pregnancies, and I’ve NEVER had an OB say a single word about my weight. I just don’t get docs who can’t work that brain-mouth filter!

  3. Are you F***ing kidding me?! Way to kick a mom while she’s down.

    OP–I’m so very sorry for your loss.

  4. wow. way to make a mom feel like crap. maybe nex time you could try: i’m sorry for your loss. unfortunately, we don’t often know alot about why miscarriages happen. many women will go on to have a healthy, problem free pregnancy.

    Sometimes when women are having trouble carrying to term, it can be because of genetic issues, physical characteristics of the mom (like uterine shape or hormonal balances), or environmental issues. Some women will find that they are more fertile and can more easily carry a child when they make changes in their life that affect their hormones and over all health, such as weight loss and dealing with other underlying issues.

    The most important thing to remember is that this isn’t because of something you or your partner did.

  5. This reminds me of a certain weight loss show where a woman was there because drs told her that her multiple miscarriages were because she was fat. No other explanation given. I am afraid that she will have a rude awakening when she tries to conceive again after the show… :-/ I hope she doesn’t, but I am skeptical when weight is the only explanation given for anything…

    • Not OB related, but this reminds me of my best friend. She fell, and had severe knee pain as a result. The doctor said it was due to her weight, and that if she lost weight the pain would go away. She fought and fought, because she knew something else was wrong. Sure enough, in the end if turned out she had a ruptured tendon in her knee, believed to have been caused by the original fall.

      Weight isn’t the cause of all health problems.

      • So many doctors do this. I myself repeatedly sprain my right ankle, and when I asked a doc if there’s anything I could do as physical therapy to strengthen it to avoid injuring it, he insisted that I needed to lose weight and that there was nothing I could do about it ’til I did. I found some exercises on the internet that have helped immensely, without losing a pound. This was also the jerk who made assumptions about my diet based on my weight. Humans come in different sizes and shapes, and weight can’t be shown to definitely cause ANY health problems.

      • I’ve had severe asthma since I was an underweight 8 year old. I went to a “doc in a box” (urgent care center) for bronchitis because I couldn’t get in to my PCP and asked him to refill my Advair and rescue inhaler. He said I didn’t have asthma, I was just fat. I was furious.

    • I’ve not had weight problems, but have experienced loss, and can’t imagine this being said while grieving. I know what show you’re talking about (just discovered it 2 weeks ago). That comment struck me too. And like you, I hope she has other motivations for losing weight because another loss could make her backslide. Skinny people have losses too.

  6. This midwife is insulting this woman very efficiently. She’s blamed the woman for her miscarriages, called her fat (which isn’t always an insult, depending on the woman’s sensibilities, but I feel it was intended as one), and made assumptions about her diet from her appearance. Very not cool!

  7. This is one of those cases where I wish I could slap the person who said it in her smug, self-righteous face. This makes me SO angry.

    OP, I am so, so sorry. From another mom who has experienced loss.

  8. Tell that to the number of morbidly obese mothers out there. (I know a lot of people are upset by the term ‘morbidly obese’, but it’s a medical term, and that’s the only way I intend it; not as insult.) Tell that to MY mother, who was well over 250 lbs when I was born, and over 300 lbs when my younger sister was born. Check your facts, b!tch, and while you’re at it, work on your bedside manner a bit, too – it definitely won’t earn you any referrals the way it is now.

    • I’m like 277 now with less than 7 weeks to go and I’m so glad no Dr. I’ve seen has been as rude as this b!tch! My bp is always normal, no GD and baby is growing fine so this comment from that midwife irks me so!
      It’s actually reading stuff like that,that made me think I was too fat to get pregnant but oh no not so!

  9. Ugh! Makes me want to go get a Big Mac just to spite her. What a horrid midwife. So sorry OP.

  10. “You’ll show me a few peer-reviewed studies to back up that claim, right?”

    And I guess skinny women never ever ever miscarry? Good to know. :-b

  11. Flip side – I have 2 sister in laws who are VERY thin and have trouble getting and staying pregnant, both have miscarried 3+ times that they know about (they are stepsisters, so genetics shouldn’t be an issue). Their heavier sister and I have each conceived twice on the first or second month off the pill. Not that Big Macs are great food nutrition wise, but this is insulting and hurtful, no matter when it was said.

  12. You’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you drank a glass of wine, you didn’t drink a glass of wine, you went outside when the moon was full. They always find a way to blame the mother.

    This just goes to prove you don’t have to have a dick in order to be one. OP, I’m sorry you were treated so cruelly.

  13. *sigh*
    The assumptions are just so frustrating. I have gotten close to 300 lb, and haven’t eaten a Big Mac ever. Fast food is a rarity, a few times a year, if that. Chips and snack food, pretty much nil.

    I eat good, homemade, veggie and protien laden foods. My vice is tea with sugar, and I cut that with stevia.

    I loved my midwives, but I was always teetering on the edge of annoyance when they acted surprised through all three pregnancies that I had *low* blood pressure and was not diabetic. Seriously, it’s not acceptable to assume diagnoses on the basis of weight and body shape. Iam heavy. I also eat better and am more active than the majority of Americans, many of whom are thinner than me.

  14. I think the toxic food additives in the Big Mac would be more hazardous to a woman’s reproductive system than the fat content…

  15. OP, I’m so sorry for your loss. Most miscarriages are not understood. This midwife’s comment was way out of line.
    (Hugs) from another mom with a loss.

  16. That is simply hateful. This midwife should not be in a caring profession, because clearly she doesn’t.

  17. I am “morbidly obese.” I engaged in risky behaviors wrt contraception and didn’t get pregnant. Then I did get pregnant right away when I dropped the contraception altogether on purpose.

    The OB said that this had occurred because I had also dropped a small percentage of my body weight at the same time. Mind you, I was “morbidly obese” before I dropped the weight and still “morbidly obese” afterward. Was there a tiny person squatting in my brain with a clicker, going, “Yay, she’s closer to a socially acceptable shape! It’s now okay for her to reproduce!” or something?

  18. I am 5’5″ and weigh about 130. I have suffered 8 miscarriages. Was it the Bic Mac extravalue meal that did me in, then? Should I lose 50 pounds to make sure I carry to term?

    I THINK NOT! How about this…weight most likely had NOTHING at all to do with the miscarriage. How about not kicking an emotionally fragile woman while she’s down???? Asshat….

  19. Thanks all for the support. It was an extremely low point in my life when she told me this. We found that the baby we were expecting was actually a blighted ovum and I had a D&C at 8 weeks. This was told to me at my follow-up appointment. I was shocked, hurt and disgusted all at the same time. I should also add, I am a vegetarian so there were ZERO Big Macs imbibed before, during, or after this pregnancy. While I did go on to have another miscarriage, I had a successful pregnancy, followed by 2 more losses, then another successful pregnancy.

    I never had a blood pressure reading higher than 120/80, my glucose levels never even hit 90 even with the glucola, and I was even able to have a VBAC with my 2nd child… All things that midwife, I’m sure, would tell me were absolutely impossible.

    Just to add some more closure, this was not my regular midwife. I spoke to my regular midwife, who was also the head of the department about my treatment. They had a staff meeting about it, and promised nothing like that would happen again. While this wasn’t a direct cause, she no longer works for the practice. I pity the women who are patients wherever her new job is…

    • A blighted ovum would have nothing to do with weight or diet, so this doctor was just an ASSHOLE. Even if he were stupid enough to THINK this were true, he said it in such a cruel way.

      I’m sorry that he was such a jerk to you, especially about something as disheartening as ANY kind of pregnancy loss.

  20. I’m so sorry for your loss OP. That was such an aweful thing to hear :( I’m glad to see that action was taken though, and hopefully it put an end to her spitefulness. It might just remind her that brain to mouth filter needs to be used more often.

  21. This comment is so insulting and ignorant on so many levels.

    First, the fact that it is made by a MIDWIFE is just appalling. Of course midwives are not free from fat-phobic bias any more than docs, but it’s still appalling to see it when it happens, not to mention the woman-blaming she does, and the insensitivity to this woman’s loss.

    Second, how in the world could this midwife know what the woman actually eats? It’s so frustrating when people ASSUME they know how someone eats, based on their size alone. As the original poster pointed out, she doesn’t eat Big Macs at all, the midwife just assumed she did, based on size alone. Gah.

    Finally, no one has pointed out the possible role of PCOS here (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome). Larger women do overall have a higher rate of miscarriage, which is why this stupid midwife is blaming this mother (as if skinny women never had miscarriages and as if fat women never carry to term!). However, the higher miscarriage rate in heavier women is usually related to PCOS, which causes hormonal disturbances that leads to more miscarriages. Address that, and many women with PCOS go on to carry to term, even while still fat.

    It’s not unusual that fat women who have a miscarriage are told that it’s “caused” by their fat. Of course it may be completely unrelated, or it may be related to PCOS. Wouldn’t it be better to let women know about the possibility of PCOS and treat THAT instead of blame them for their weight?

    Just another example of the fat-shaming and blaming rampant in our culture.

  22. While I was pregnant with my son I craved big macs almost everyday,not saying I gave into that craving everytime but I had big macs atleast once or twice a week.He’s perfectly fine

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