Mar 26

“Let Her Know, I Reserve The Right To Throw Her Out If She Gets In My Way!”

Let her know, I reserve the right to throw her out if she gets in my way!” – OB to mother who told the OB that she had hired a doula to help during her labor and birth.

73 people dislike these words.

There are 24 comments to this post.

tara had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 5:09 am (Quote)

that’s just what I told her about you!

[Reply]

road2vba2c had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 5:15 am (Quote)

I’m so thankful my OB is looking forward to working with my doula.

[Reply]

Nikki H had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 5:31 am (Quote)

I am appreciative that my OB had worked with my doula before.

and to the OB in the OP, if you are in my way, you can be asked to leave. You are not necessary for a birth to happen .

[Reply]

laura grace had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 5:42 am (Quote)

Ooh, do we get to throw people out if they get in our way? Brace yourself, then, doc!

[Reply]

Jessica Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 5:45 am Jessica(Quote)

I know right! The sky is the limit with this one! I’d kick everyone out and lock the door! HAHA!

[Reply]

KDB had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 7:01 am (Quote)

“Oh, I’m sorry for the confusion, Doc. You seem to be reading my cue card instead of yours.”

[Reply]

molly had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 7:13 am (Quote)

That’s such a sad attitude I birthed 3 days ago with an OB and a doula. My OB literallly stood silently against the wall in the shadows (lights were off) and let me and my doula do our thing. She spoke softly and only when I wasn’t contracting. She didn’t even touch me until I was leaning against the bed and pushing and said that he’s coming. My OB respected my birth space and my birth partner. I wish there were more like her out there

[Reply]

Maddy Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 11:31 am Maddy(Quote)

It sounds like you had a really beautiful birth! Congrats, mama, and I hope you and your baby are enjoying your first days together!

[Reply]

mom of 5 Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 12:30 pm mom of 5(Quote)

With Maddy I say this sounds like an amazing birth. Good for you.

[Reply]

Sheva Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 6:54 pm Sheva(Quote)

Congratulations! How beautiful! I got chills…
I worked with ONE doc like this, but the nurse ruined the effect by harping on everything .

[Reply]

Ann S had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 7:39 am (Quote)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this as a doula. Of course, I’ve also heard “I don’t allow doulas”. What happened to the concept that it is the woman’s birth?

[Reply]

genniemom Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 4:44 pm genniemom(Quote)

“Doula” is just a title. My doula (DONA certified) is actually my sister, so I think I’m covered. That is, if I somehow have to transfer to a hospital. My midwife was actually the first DONA certified doula in the area, but she got herself banned from one of the local hospitals in her doula capacity. Luckily, that fence was mended, and she has the ability to accompany me in the case of a transfer.

[Reply]

Jane had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 7:41 am (Quote)

Is that even legal? I didn’t think the OB could randomly have the mother’s support person ejected from the room. I would strongly suggest anyone hiring a doula look up the hospital’s regulations regarding who may be in the labor room and for how long, and have a copy of those printed regulations on hand. That and a copy of the patient’s bill of rights, if that addresses having visitors.

I also would suggest that with an antagonistic OB, if firing the doctor isn’t possible, the mom shouldn’t refer to the person as her doula, but rather as her friend. I hate lying but honestly, what can you do? “She’s my sister” might also work if you consider we’re all in a human sisterhood of sorts. :-b

Why should we have to protect ourselves from the people we’re paying to look out for our health?

[Reply]

Mharry Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 7:51 am Mharry(Quote)

I think they should do this, and then enlarge it, highlight it, and attach it to the door, the bed, the hand sanitizer and one of the stirrups, just so there’s no way anyone can say they didn’t see it.

[Reply]

mom of 5 Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 12:32 pm mom of 5(Quote)

But is that truly lying by saying she’s a friend, Jane? Relationships are built with people like doulas. Sure you prolly wouldn’t go get a Starbucks together, but there are many levels of friendship.

Just a thought

[Reply]

Louisa Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 9:41 pm Louisa(Quote)

True, my “sister” started out as my doula, progressed to being my friend and we now consider ourselves “sisters”. No blood relation but your emotional connection is amazing.

[Reply]

himom Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 3:40 pm himom(Quote)

Unfortunately, it is very legal. I have been ejected from the delivery room when the OB objected to my giving the birthing mama information necessary for “informed consent”, something he neglected to do, since he clearly had an agenda which included getting her into the OR. For no good reason.

[Reply]

Jane Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 4:09 pm Jane(Quote)

They might do it, but is it LEGAL? As we’ve seen here, doctors do many things that aren’t legal and they’re never called on it. I still would recommend getting the hospital’s labor partner regulations in writing and seeing what the actual wording is. It might well be that the doctors can’t use hospital security as their own personal means of ensuring a c-section.

[Reply]

himom Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 10:06 am himom(Quote)

But doctors can have security remove someone if they are “causing a disturbance” or “creating a situation dangerous to the patient”. Who is going to have the power – the doctor on staff or some doula who has no official capacity?

[Reply]

Jessica had this to say, Mar 26, 2011 @ 9:32 am (Quote)

Well if you’re going to kicking out my hired labor support be prepared to refund me for her fees. They weren’t covered by my insurance and I’ll be damned if I let you rip me off!

[Reply]

Bonita Reply:
March 26th, 2011 at 2:37 pm Bonita(Quote)

Bingo! You hired her, you are the only one who should be able to tell her to do anything.

[Reply]

Becky had this to say, Mar 27, 2011 @ 1:07 pm (Quote)

My response would be something along the lines of, “Well doc, I reserve the right to throw you out, which I’m doing right now, and the right to find another OB.”
I know it’s not always possible to find another OB, so I’m sorry if the OP couldn’t do that.

[Reply]

Patrice London had this to say, Mar 27, 2011 @ 7:05 pm (Quote)

I’m the doula that the OB in this post was talking about. He came to me after the birth and shook my hand vigorously saying how wonderful it was to work “with” me, lol. All this after he haughtily told my client that he’d throw me out and then belittled her when we arrived at the hospital. She used hypnobirthing and was doing beautifully and he swore he’d be sending her home because she was too calm.

He checked her, found her to be just shy of 8cm and of course she had the baby soon after.

[Reply]