Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Mar
21
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…I Don’t Do Doulas.”
“I don’t believe in doulas. I don’t do doulas.” – OB to doula at a birth.
There are 50 comments to this post.
road2vba2c had this to say,
Mar 21, 2011 @ 12:58 pm (Quote)
I didn’t ask about your beliefs. Nor did I ask about your personal life. Also, neither did I ask your permission to be here.
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Caryn Weber had this to say,
Mar 21, 2011 @ 12:58 pm (Quote)
Yea, but I do! See ya! – When I was pregnant with my first child, I told the OB I was planning to have a doula present. I thought she was going to start peeing in all the corners of the exam room to mark her territory. Needless to say, I left that practice and went on to have a home birth.
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Robyn Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 2:40 pm (Quote)
Good for you! The day I fired my OB was one of the most empowering days of my life.
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Sheva Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 3:58 pm (Quote)
You’re awesome!! I love your story, thanks for sharing it!
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Texas Mama Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 4:35 pm (Quote)
I hope you told the OB exactly WHY you left the practice and WHY you will never recommend her to your friends. Congrats on your homebirth!!!
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I would prefer this reaction than to the one I get quite often: the OB completely ignores me, doesn’t speak to me, and tries to act like I’m not in the room!
Really though, why do they feel the need to act this way? Are they threatened?
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Jessica Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 1:04 pm (Quote)
I’ve gotten that. god forbid we give the laboring woman autonomy!
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devil is in the details Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 5:02 am (Quote)
Correction, god forbid they respect a laboring woman’s autonomy. (When it is yours nobody has to give it to you. It just is.)
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Amber Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 1:10 pm (Quote)
Yes, they are threatened. They don’t want their patients to know that there is another way of doing things that contradicts their way of doing things!
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Kali Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 6:42 pm (Quote)
I’ve gotten that too, but it’s such a blessing when the nurse, the OB/midwife says how helpful you were!
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Elysiarenee Reply:
March 22nd, 2011 at 12:44 am (Quote)
I agree that they are definitely threatened and don’t think it is unreasonable for them to feel that way. The need/desire for a doula suggests that the woman giving birth feels that her care would be inadequate without said doula.
It would be nice if it changed the way they provided care instead of just making them grouchy but that’s a bit much to hope for.
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I do believe in doulas! I do believe in doulas! I do believe in doulas! *claps hands*
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Nikki Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 1:08 pm (Quote)
LOL! So I’m not the only one who thought about Tinkerbelle when I read this post? 
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Aww, so you personally sit with the laboring woman, provide emotional support for her and for her partner, and offer complete respect of her wishes for her birth? You’ve studied comfort measures during labor, and offer those instead of pressuring for epidurals and narcotics?
Wow Doc, that’s completely awesome!
Oh, wait, you didn’t mean that? Well then I guess the doulas will still have to provide those services since you refuse to.
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Plumpish Older Woman had this to say,
Mar 21, 2011 @ 1:31 pm (Quote)
Ummmm, I don’t think anyone wants you to “do” her. Your job is to WORK with her.
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Charity had this to say,
Mar 21, 2011 @ 3:11 pm (Quote)
My ex didn’t “do doulas” either. He promised to assert my wishes so there was no need for one. He didn’t and I had the worst care. No one was helping me and I was completely alone, even though my husband was there… He was watching TV and kinda mumbling answers when the nurses asked him. My midwife finally arrived and stood up for me in the end and I was able to salvage the rest of my birth experience. Thankfully the next two experiences were much better.
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mom of 5 Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 3:19 pm (Quote)
So sorry you had a bad experience; it sort of broke my heart. Thank God for great midwives.
Can I say as tactfully as possible…I see why he’s your ex. I would have KILLED my husband.
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Charity Reply:
March 21st, 2011 at 5:28 pm (Quote)
The downfall of our relationship started the day I had my son. From not going to the nursery with him, to telling the nurses not to listen to me, to having my son circumcised without my consent, and telling me “You have a healthy baby, just get over it” and making fun of my body at 6 weeks PP… I was sooooo done with him! The current hubby is a lot more supportive, although we’re having a rift about circumcision this time around because he’s sure it’s a boy. He’s usually just gone with the flow and followed my lead when it comes to birth. He was the only one with me when I gave birth the last time. It was the most wonderful experience and so healing!
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Yeah, thankfully. You’re not my type.
Tell you what. I don’t believe in IVs, cervical checks, Pitocin, AROM, and unnecesareans. I won’t bring my imaginary labor assistance if you don’t bring yours.
Wait. Yours IS imaginary. Mine’s real.
Never mind, I’ll go birth in a field with unicorns. And doulas.
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So what you’re saying, Doc, is that doulas have God-like power to help Moms, babies, even *gasp* Dads have a better chance at a better experience and better outcomes–even/ESPECIALLY if things don’t go as planned–but you’re a Doulatheist?
I’ll pray to the unicorns for you.
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devil is in the details had this to say,
Mar 22, 2011 @ 5:10 am (Quote)
I think we should all start introduing our doulas as our aunts and cousins. Heck I have 35 cousins, prove this isn’t one of them.
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Well, doctor, a lot of doulas don’t like how you do your job either, but, lucky for moms everywhere, we will work with you anyway because we’re adults and it’s about what MOM needs during labor, not us or you.
Jiminy, what is it about having graduated med school that makes so many OBs revert to the emotional level of a freaking 12 year old?!
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lilmrsmchenry had this to say,
Mar 22, 2011 @ 11:35 am (Quote)
Doesn’t matter if you do because the doula was hired by the mother. Last time I checked, the OB did not really come into the arrangement at all.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Mar 24, 2011 @ 4:30 pm (Quote)
The doula probably has no interest in doing you, either, Doctor, so don’t flatter yourself.
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I’m a little late to this, but this one was one my first experiences as a doula, and I was incredulous at the open hostility she showed me. I have never worked with such a negative, dehumanizing ob. At one point, the nurse called her in because she thought the mom was complete, the ob came to check her, never even said a thing to the mom, just muttered to the nurse “She’s not even close. Call me when she’s pushing.” She practically punshed the mom for refusing an episiotomy, telling her how much longer it was going to take for her to finish pushing.
And as a sidenote, I joked for a long time about calling my doula practice “Tooth fairy doula services.”
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shannon Reply:
March 24th, 2011 at 7:24 pm (Quote)
Poor mom! It’s a really good thing she DID have you as a doula. Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been anyone there to treat her like a human being. How terribly rude this OB sounds! (And no wonder she doesn’t “do doulas”. Then there’s a witness to her awful bedside manner.)
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HAHAHahahahahah dumb OB… it doesn’t matter if YOU don’t “believe” in doulas, she’s going to be here, and if she’s not here, then YOU’RE not here.
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