I have to wonder what the point is of a comment like this. Do some people just not think before they speak? Even if it was meant to be comforting, what I would hear is, “You’re broken dear. There is something flawed about you as a mother. Let us do what we can to save your baby, and hopefully you’ll improve as a mother later on. If it weren’t for us, you would be totally lost.” Kindly meant or not, what a horrible thing to say.

That may be true, but it doesn’t need to be true for this Mom. How about some ENcouragement rather than DIScouragement!

” Some l&d nurses are really rude to mothers in labor…”

The proper response to this is to shift into computer mode and agree with her. “Oh, yes, and it’s terrible for those moms who can’t fit a baby through there. I’ll remember to keep them in my thoughts during my labor and delivery.”

Then the nurse either has to say, “No, dummy, I meant YOU” or “Um…yeah, that’s very kind of you.”

”Actually, some people just don’t think before they speak!’ It sounds as if this hospital has a high % of c/s!! Why else would the nurse say this? I guess she’s used to ‘failure to progress’ or overrated CPD. I also wonder if OP had her c/s at this hospital w/that same nurse. OP, please tell us what happened!!

sure, “some” mom’s can’t, like my friend who’s pelvis was broken in a car accident and is pinned and braced in 3 places, leaving her a pelvic opening the size of a coke can. But somehow I don’t think this was the OP’s problem.

In the nurse’s defense, I can see how this could definitely be intended to be considerate and thoughtful. I see it as trying to say, “Don’t feel bad. Not everyone can give birth as easily as everyone else, and you’re okay for it! Lots of women have trouble. We will help you have a healthy baby regardless of any limitations.” I can definitely see how it doesn’t really MEAN that, but I really can see how it was supposed to be thoughtful.

When I am labouring down and trying to birth my child afterhaving had one or more extracted abdominally for “failure to progress” or “cephalopelvic disproportion” is NOT when I want to hold your hand and validate YOUR c-section, Nurse…

By the way, any woman who is not a midget with ricketts has a perfectly adequate pelvis for birthing a baby the old fashioned way. You may, however, have to let her stay off her back.

Yeah, and some doctors just can’t seem to properly guide those babies out the right way. Sure babies get stuck and there are sometimes true reasons why the baby just can’t get out the usual way, but why not be open to trying different positions etc and accepting that no two babies (even twins) are going to be the same size or just as difficult to get out.