Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
13
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…You Are 41 Weeks And Therefore Your Negotiating Powers Have Gone Away…”
“Absolutely not. You are 41 weeks, and therefore your negotiating powers have gone away. If I don’t induce you right now, the baby will die.” -OB to mother when the mother asked if she could wait a few more days before being induced.
There are 46 comments to this post.
road2vba2c had this to say,
Dec 13, 2010 @ 4:21 am (Quote)
WHAT?!?! That is ludicrous! It’s not a treaty someone just backed out of. I mean… Ugh. Mondays. I’m going back to bed and when I wake up (or rather my kids wake me up) I’m going to read some happy postdate birth stories!
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Yeah, I think I’d conveniently “forget” to show up for that induction…
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Jayn Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 6:09 am (Quote)
Tell them you got caught up in a World of Warcraft raid (Yes, once raided with a couple who were late for their own induction. I’ve heard of another who was playing during labour.)
You get to skip the induction, and maybe get some good gear out of it 
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Sherry J Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 6:25 am (Quote)
That sounds like something I would do. FTW!
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Robyn Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 7:56 am (Quote)
Unfortunately, not enough women realize that being past their “expiration date” is not a valid reason to be induced. I see it all the time. “I *had* to be induced because I was this far past my due date. I just don’t go into labor on my own.”
Also unfortunately, women have to do research on their own. Whether she did any actual research or not, this mom knows that induction is not the way to go simply because she went past her due date. And if she were to just ask what the risk to her and the baby are of induction, the chances that she’d get a truthful answer are minimal. There are few OBs who would outright say “Well, there’s the increased chance of winding up with a C-section. Add to that there’s an increased chance your baby will wind up in distress because of the strength of the pit contractions. And to top it off, there’s always the chance that we misjudged your due date and your baby could have respitory problems because it just isn’t ready and wind up with a bit of a NICU stay.” Instead women are typically told “minimal” or “none”.
Also, of the moms who do take time to research and don’t just take doc’s word for it (many first-time moms look up everything they possibly can), I don’t think a lot of them look outside of your mainstream baby sites. BabyCenter, one of the most popular baby sites, has this to say when you’re at 41 weeks gestation:
A bit over 20 inches long, your baby has continued to grow and may now weigh almost 8 pounds. As cozy as he is, your baby can’t stay inside you forever. For your baby’s safety, your practitioner will talk with you about inducing labor if your baby isn’t born in the next week — earlier if there are any problems. Most practitioners won’t let you wait more than two weeks past your due date to give birth because it puts you and your baby at increased risk for complications. About 5 to 6 percent of women have prolonged pregnancies that extend three or more weeks beyond their estimated due dates. Babies born at 42 weeks and beyond can have dry parchment-like skin and are often overweight. Waiting that long to deliver also increases your chance of developing an infection in your uterus that could be dangerous for your baby or of having a stillbirth. What’s more, your labor is more likely to be prolonged or stalled, both you and your baby have an increased risk of injury during a vaginal delivery, and you double your chances of needing a c-section.
With all of society telling us that we need to have our baby on or before that date they give us otherwise it become dangerous and/or deadly, who would refuse to show up for induction? In my opinion, there should be cooperation between our care providers and the mothers to make sure that baby is ok until it’s ready to come out.
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“I never needed to negotiate to begin with. In medicine, either the patient needs something and she should have it, or she does not need something and should not have it. If you have medical indications for induction, things a reasonable and sane person would agree are risk factors, tell me. If you have none, that’s the only reason to resort to bullying. So let’s start over. You can give me your wish-list and I can tell you what I may or may not allow you to do.”
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Dec 13, 2010 @ 5:34 am (Quote)
This is why some (smart) women lie about their last period. I used to think that was borderline reckless; now I think it’s freaking genius. 
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Jane Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 5:59 am (Quote)
Lie about your last period AND refuse an early dating ultrasound. :-b
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JulietsButterfly Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 7:19 am (Quote)
I inadvertently did that with my first. I mistook spotting for a small period and had some again a month later, so I was 16 weeks or so along before I finally got a BFP on a HPT. By then it was “I think I had a period here….” EDD was April 13 and DD came March 27, so my guess was off and I think she was impatient.
DS I knew the week we conceived since he was planned. Next time I’ll probably see what my cycle looks like and when I ovulate and then figure out when I want to be due. And MIL wonders why I chart even though we’re not actively TTC!
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Robyn Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 8:05 am (Quote)
I love charting! I started as a means of birth control. Breastfeeding kind of cuts off most conventional forms of birth control and of the choices that were left to me there was only one I was comfortable using; an IUD which my body rejected. My inital thought of charting was that it was just too much work; now it’s a part of life for me.
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teapot Reply:
December 14th, 2010 at 4:46 pm (Quote)
rather OT, but I charted all the way through menopause, so that I could tinker with my preventive migraine meds after I ovulated. It *does* become a part of your life. (And I’d had a BTL in 1987, and an endometrial ablation in 1991, so there was no way I was going to conceive!.)
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Louisa Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 3:55 pm (Quote)
That is what we are doing this time around. I can tell you the implant date ’cause my body went crazy but I just can’t remember my last period. And since they never ask when you think the baby implanted I won’t be telling any lies. and since I don’t plan on seeing a midwife until 16-20 wks anyway, no chance of an early ultrasound (which can be off anyway I found out with DS)
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Caryn Weber had this to say,
Dec 13, 2010 @ 6:37 am (Quote)
This just kills me. The entire medical profession goes on and on about how the typical pregnancy is 40 to 42 weeks long. However, once you cross 37 weeks it’s nothing but pressure to induce if you haven’t gone into labor on your own. I don’t understand it!!! Why can’t these people just learn to let nature takes it’s course!!! It’s infuriating!!!
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devil is in the details had this to say,
Dec 13, 2010 @ 9:22 am (Quote)
Excuse me Doctor math wiz. There is a huge difference between a slight increase in interuterine demise past 42 weeks or a signifcant increase past 43 weeks, and your baby will absolutely 100% chance die. If it has been so long since you took statistics that all those all nighters as an intern have wiped this little fact from your head then let me refresh your memory. Also known as STFU and WTH are they teaching in medical school!
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Tell this to my unborn baby who was *due* last Wednesday. I didn’t think 5th babies were likely to be *late* but I guess mine is showing his true personality early. LOL
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Brie B. Reply:
December 13th, 2010 at 12:37 pm (Quote)
My little brother, my mom’s sixth baby, was born at 42 weeks exactly (and I had come at 39+1, so it’s not like my mom just cooks ‘em forever, lol), on the absolute most inconvenient day possible for everyone. He had been due April 1st, and they said that was his first April Fool’s joke.
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My OB tried to get his panties in a twist when I refused an induction at 38 weeks. At 41 weeks I delivered my 6lb 12 oz girl AT HOME. Glad I waited, or she would have been tiny and sick in the NICU.
I had negotiating powers then…not so much now that’s she 15.
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So many women get told this, that most think it is true. And of course when a woman is told that her baby *WILL* die unless she does xyz, by someone she trusts to keep her and baby healthy, she will do xyz, even if it goes against what she wants. And if she still wants to fight, these comments often are said to get the woman’s partner on the doctor’s side, and it is harder to fight for what you think is right when the doctor says something like this.
A friend of mine was told this with her first (before I knew her), and not knowing better at the time, she got induced, which failed and she had a cesarean. She has since had two VBACs 
Both “post dates”, she just gestages her babies longer
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Alyson Miers had this to say,
Dec 13, 2010 @ 10:55 am (Quote)
“If I don’t induce you right now, I might have to let another doctor handle your delivery and then I won’t collect on the billable procedures.”
There. Fixed it for ya, Dr. Stabby-Hands.
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No, no, no, Doc. The rules state you can’t use the “past your expiration date” AND the “dead baby” cards in the same turn. I’m sorry but you’ll have to go back 3 spaces and find me a new physician. And a massage therapist while you’re at it because my legs are going to just throb from how fast I’m planning on walking out of your office.
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when did “estimated” due date turn into “the baby will explode into fragments from the inside out and then you’ll melt into a puddle of goo going OH WHAT A WORLD unless you have the baby before this date. No really. I’ve seen studies. Also,… the moon is made of cheese, and Darth Vader is your father.”
I kind of thought EDD meant…”we might, maybe, have a general idea of when about you conceived, so you ought to go into lobor somewhere around here. maybe. Really, the kid’ll let you know when it needs a change of scenery.”
Silly me..
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I have a friend whose baby died at 9 days overdue, and she had to be induced to deliver her stillborn child at 10 days overdue. These things happen- EXTREMELY RARELY. Tragic stories like these, however, do not make every woman a timebomb. It infuriates me to read that OBs will paint with such a broad brush. My friend DID NOT put her baby at risk- she was simply, tragically, the one in a million people for which nature goes very, very wrong. And who knows- perhaps her child would not have been able to endure induction, anyway? And then she would have lived with guilt from that experience. Tragic no matter what.
I think what OBs and midwives need to better communicate is that the risks of induction equal, or exceed, the risks of labor occurring on its own, up until 42 weeks. After that 42 week mark, the tide turns, and the mom and baby are at slightly higher risk from waiting it out than the are from the process of induction.
Personally, I had one baby early, and one baby late. The early baby showed distinct signs of being post-due, according to his assessments. The late baby showed signs of near-prematurity. Nature is amazing in its variation. 41 weeks means NOTHING.
Really? Was
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Kim Reply:
December 14th, 2010 at 9:10 pm (Quote)
Jennifer,
I absolutely respect what you are saying and am very sorry for your friend’s loss. However, from an OB’s perspective, what if your friend found some reason to sue that OB for a silly reason just so she could make a profit? That OB would dish out thousands of dollars of attorney fees even if he is innocent, and his malpractice premium would increase as well, perhaps putting his financial stability in jeopardy. Of course, no OB wants this, so that is why inductions/c-sections/etc happen so often. But you have to understand the OB’s point of view as well.
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Hey everyone,
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one outraged by this. What makes it even worse is that this mom was a teenager, and so throughout the entire pregnancy the OB would be making remarks like this, and threatening that her kid would get taken away if she didn’t follow all of the doctor’s orders. As the doula, I tried to inform mom of her choices, but insurance, location and the fact that mom just didn’t want to switch all came into play. So, the mom did agree to be induced, and thankfully her labor was short and her baby was healthy. But this OB still outrages me to this day.
Thanks for your comments.
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Repeat after me: It is unethical and illegal to perform any test, treatment, or procedure without first obtaining informed consent. I do not consent. Please work with me to create an alternate treatment plan or refer me to someone else who is better able to meet my needs while respecting my rights.
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So I guess I’m feeling the phantom kicks of a dead baby right now??? I am currently 41+4 and still waiting… but theres no way the kicking baby inside me is alive right??? I AM dreading getting to 42 weeks when my HB midwife “legally” has to consult with my OB… I have no idea what he’s gonna say….
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Dec 14, 2010 @ 2:14 pm (Quote)
I learned the hard way that a “patient” of an obstetrician has no negotiating powers anyway.
If you have to hurry up to get to the doctor’s office on time, then wait an hour because s/he is busy, then submit your bodily fluids for examination, then take off your clothes and sit in a hospital gown under a paper sheet for a hand up your vagina, only to ask nicely for certain conditions or preferences in birth to be met, in full or in part… you have no negotiating power.
You shouldn’t need it, anyway. You are the client. You should not “negotiate.” You should inform. Unless there is a dire emergency, you are the one in charge, unless you give that power up.
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No, it’s MY body and MY baby- your argument is invalid. You are the one with no “negotiating powers” here, jackass. Oh, and stop it with the dead baby card already- it only makes you look like a bigger fool than you obviously are.
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