Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Dec
6
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…Your Baby Won’t Have A Way To Get Out.”
“If you don’t let me break your water, the baby won’t have a way to get out.” – OB to mother being induced.
There are 38 comments to this post.
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/trimester.png
This is where Dr. Awesome got his degree. I’m serious. OP, I’m sorry that your OB forgot to take his brain pills that day.
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Mama Wrench had this to say,
Dec 6, 2010 @ 4:33 pm (Quote)
Obviously, someone never got to see a dog have puppies. They almost ALWAYS come out still in the sac.
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BeckyMomma had this to say,
Dec 6, 2010 @ 4:43 pm (Quote)
So what you’re saying is, if baby is born in the caul, they will stay that way THEIR ENTIRE LIVES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Funny. I have yet to see a full-grown person walking around in a bag of waters…
I’m guessing a moderately sharp pair of scissors will solve this problem for you.
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lisa Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 6:51 pm (Quote)
Well yes, their entire, short lives. Don’t you know that babies die when the benevolent doctor does not do an amniotomy? And mothers die too, leaving their husbands widowed and their children motherless.
Questioning the accuracy of this will not be tolerated, and guilt trips will ensue should you raise an eyebrow. It’s just best to leave these things to the professionals, you know. That is, unless you WANT to kill your baby.
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I have to admit, I snorted at this. It’s like stoner paranoia, or like the Double Rainbow guy delivering babies.
“Ohhhmygodohmygod! Like, the baby won’t have anywhere to GO, man! Whoooooa, we gotta, like, DO something! Or, like, the baby’s gonna, like, STAY in there FOREVER! So intense! IT’S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A TRIPLE BAG!”
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Sheez, don’t you guys know ANYTHING about anatomy? The membranes are fused to the side of the uterus, standing like a wall to form an impenetrable barrier across the cervix, sealing it shut with a force five hundred times more powerful than superglue and staying locked tight like a portcullis at the gates of a castle.
And just like a knight riding into battle with a mighty lance, Dr. Fabulous must reach inside there with the amniohook to unlock that membrane which unjustly traps Baby Princess inside the enemy castle, thus freeing the princess so the knight can carry her to freedom.
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jaed Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 3:53 am (Quote)
I’m seeing a whole series: “Fairy Tales for Obstetricians”.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 10:34 am (Quote)
The knight riding in with his giant lance to pierce the evil amniotic sac and free the helpless princess… Very phallic. Freud would have loved the semiotics of that one.
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Well, if this were Breaking Dawn.. that would be TRUE! 
But he’d have to be using vampire teeth instead of an amnihook.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 10:37 am (Quote)
Ugh. Don’t even get me started on the millions of reasons why I hate the _Twilight_ books and the writing of Stephanie Meyer. But unrealistic, fearmongering, disempowering, melodramatic, and altogether stupid birth scenes are near the top of the list…
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Rachel Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 12:25 pm (Quote)
I shamelessly love the Twilight series, but I did seriously consider writing a fanfic (I normally HATE fanfic) to rewrite the birth scene. It would have involved an en caul water birth and Edward biting open the sac 
But, I never really got around to it..
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
December 7th, 2010 at 5:51 pm (Quote)
In most parts of eastern Europe, being born en caul makes one either a vampire or a dhampire. But you already knew that, right? =
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Heather Reply:
December 9th, 2010 at 1:29 pm (Quote)
As a fellow Twilight fan, I’d say it’s pretty hard to give birth when your spine has been severed by accident by your fetus just stretching out, lol. My second (my VBAC baby, actually) used to leave bruises on me from how hard she kicked and my husband joked that if she broke any bones, he demanded to meet the vampire that fathered her, LOL.
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This site is just full of toddlers who are walking around in their amniotic sacs, OMG! Not my son though, he miraculously managed to fight his way out when I was 9.5 cm dilated.
My daughter tried to make her escape while I was making the bed and not dilated at all. They were miracles though you know. No amniohook to save them and all.
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Hahahaha! My 3 year old has been walking around in a bubble then for the past 3 years because she was born with a full bag of water intact. This was stated by the nurse and the OB who came in right after her birth was amazed. The family doctor thought it was pretty special that she was born with the bag intact. Gee, I wonder how many people broke the bag with sticks in the past doc before the hook? Ugh.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Dec 7, 2010 @ 10:40 am (Quote)
Wait. Are you saying my amniotic sac is made out of adamantium, thus acting like a barrier after it refuses to break? How quaint. I’m almost afraid to ask what the amniohook is made of.
Look, if you’re impatient and can’t stand to wait around for the birth to happen, you need to find a new profession, Doctor.
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That gets a big \/\/ with the fingers, as in WHATEVER.
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