Nov 272010

Nurse: “Ha ha ha.”
Mother: “What are you laughing at?”
Nurse: “Huh?, Oh, nothing just your birth plan.”

L&D nurse to a mother who was a 33 week home birth transfer in labor with surprise breech twins.

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 November 27, 2010  Birth Plan, breech, Home Birth, L&D Nurse, Twins  Add comments

  21 Responses to “"What Are You Laughing At?…Oh, Nothing, Just Your Birth Plan?"”

  1. Since I doubt Mom wrote a few jokes into her birth plan.. screw you, nurse! Even if you KNOW you can’t do everything she’s asking for, you can at least say “We’ll try our best to help you have the birth you want.” Leave it at that.

  2. While I can totally see how it was upsetting to hear, and it was *incredibly* unprofessional of the nurses, I can also see how the birthplan would wind up being amusing under the circumstances.

  3. While I can’t imagine there is much that can be salvaged with 33 week breech twins from a home birth planned ‘birth plan’ there must be something. And you would think anyone with half a heart would be sad for the mother and the differences there within rather than mocking. What a jerk.

  4. What on earth was she doing having a home birth with 33 week twins anyway? If that doesn’t fall into the “high, high, super high risk” category I don’t know what does. I’m a natural birth advocate, but geez!

  5. Oh, laughter is the most common response to birth plans (read Naomi Wolf and Jennifer Block if you don’t want to take my word for it).

    Most nurses aren’t bold enough to do so right in front of a patient, however.


    How rude.

  6. I transferred after 74 hours of labor to the hospital at 9cms and though no one was able to read my birth plan before my son was delivered, the nurse after was incredibly sensitive to the fact that I had transferred, knowing how moms who have to transfer after planning a HB feel, she went through my entire birth plan after the fact anyway. If only all nurses and doctors would behave this way.

    • Exactly. My first birth ended up being nothing like what I’d hoped for, mostly for legitimate reasons, and the CNM who attended me told me she was sorry it couldn’t be how I’d wanted but they were going to do their best. It’s not hard. All you have to do is not be an asshole.

  7. Birth is intimate and personal and to laugh at a mother’s desires for her birth is just wrong. She’s in a vulnerable state and the nurse should have been compassionate :(

  8. My nurse did that and I kicked her out. I hate doctors and nurses who don’t have an ounce of compassion.

  9. Wow, I see that you are well educated and thought a lot about this birth. I know this is not how you planned it, but I will do my best to make sure the birth of your babies is as close to perfect as you and I can make it.
    Is that so hard? Mom’s not clueless – she knows the birth won’t be like the home birth she planned, and she’ll do whatever it takes to make keep her babies safe. And you know that you can make or break her birth-day. So, which is it going to be?

  10. OP condolences on not making the magic 36 week mark with your twins. I hope that your body and soul made it through birth without lasting damage and that those babies are OK.

  11. I did put a few jokes into my second birth plan, LOL. I was hoping to avoid the depression and let down of “failing” a second time.

  12. Okay, well I don’t think a 33 week surprise birth of breech twins should be called a “home-birth transfer”. That makes it sound like she WAS trying to birth at home under those dangerous circumstances. Just the babies being 33 weeks is reason enough to be in the hospital.

    • As far as I understand it, anyone who plans a home birth but then ends up giving birth in a hospital is a “home birth transfer”. If it’s a home birth transport, you’re heading to the hospital during labor (in an ambulance?)

      • Okay that would make more sense! It still sounded that way to me when I first read it, but I guess I would fall under this category too then! I planned a HB but ended up going natural in the hospital instead because….well there were a lot of reasons I don’t need to discuss here lol. Suffice to say that you should be 100% comfortable with your HB midwife.

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