Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Nov
26
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“You Chose To Have A 3rd Degree Tear.”
“You chose to have a 3rd degree tear.” – OB to mother at a postpartum
There are 11 comments to this post.
This is a weird comment to me because it seems like context is everything. Clearly this is a stupid thing to say but, I can’t decide if it’s just a *facepalm* stupid doctor or an attempt to punish the woman and/or make the doctor’s incompetance the woman’s fault.
[Reply]
In addition to the comments above, if this remark was in response to the OP’s refusal of an episiotomy, it occurs to me to wonder how much FURTHER she would have torn WITH one. Most third and fourth degree tears are the direct result of episiotomies extending under pressure. In response to whatever was going on this birth (pushing position, valsalva pushing, excess massage, whatever), her body responded by tearing ONLY as far as actually needed. Something more care providers should think about.
[Reply]
Response: “And now I’m CHOOSING to punch you in the nose.”
Seriously, I don’t know how the women who have had these comments made to them restrain themselves from getting violent. If I had half of this stuff said to me, I’d probably be arrested.
Violent tendencies aside, I’m assuming that this comment was made because the mom refused an episiotomy, which frustrates me because the other side of things is that tons of women get unnecessary episiotomies, which to me is no less severe then tearing naturally. In the end, it’s your flesh being ripped. I’d rather let my body decide whether or not it ‘needs’ to rip then to let a doctor make a random guess at it.
[Reply]
Sheva Reply:
November 26th, 2010 at 10:06 am (Quote)
Right!
An episiotomy is a guaranteed tear. If you decide to let nature take its course, it’s only a gamble if you’ll tear.
Why take a certain injury (and cuts are more injurious than tears) to a small possibility of one?
That’s the question docs can’t seem to answer.
(And docs, don’t say that ‘episiotomies heal better than tears’ because we, who have been on the wrong side of your scissors, all know that’s untrue.)
[Reply]
I’d love to get some context here.
No mother chooses to tear. They choose a tear OVER an episiotomy. Big difference, doc.
It’s just the better of the two evils.
If we actually got to choose, we would all choose to stretch smoothly and naturally without tearing at all, pushing at our own pace in our own bodies, in an ideally physiological birth position.
But, we only get to choose possible tear or certain cut. I choose tear, to any degree, over a cut.
Good call, OP!
[Reply]
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Nov 26, 2010 @ 3:07 pm (Quote)
My next choice will be to switch to a competent care provider, one who has no problem with my pushing in a supported squat or some other SENSIBLE position, in tune with my body’s urges rather than somebody’s overenthusiastic coaching.
Choice.
Such a wonderful word.
[Reply]
Thanks all for your replies. Very affirming after a very humiliating postpartum visit. The context of my primary OB’s statement was not in response to whether or not I should have agreed to an episiotomy. (That was never actually discussed during labor. The delivering OB was not actually in the room as my baby made her appearance. Had she been, things may have turned out differently.) My primary OB made the comment at a postpartum visit as he was “educating” me as to the female anatomy and what a 3rd degree tear entails. I believe his comment came from the bias that I should have opted for a repeat cesarean in the first place rather than a VBAC.
The whole postpartum visit was quite stunning starting off with my OB walking in and sternly asking what I was doing there in the first place. No kidding. In his opinion, I should have come in 6 weeks postpartum, not 4 weeks (although the discharging doc said 4, he made it clear that he disagreed with this). I could go on and on with the offensive comments made by the OB including that “Natural birth is traumatic. There are women in 3rd world countries walking around with separated pubic bones.” Instead, I’ll simply say that I transferred my care from that point forward to my family doc who was fantastic.
I can’t help but add that I believe this experience speaks to the way labor and delivery in a large obstetrical practice has become big business. Individualized care, bedside manner, and good practice has fallen by the wayside. Instead, minimal care (really, wait 6 weeks to check a 3rd degree tear??) and not having the delivering OB even present while I was pushing are 2 signs that it’s not women’s health care that is of concern, but rather how many women an OB can care for during a shift.
[Reply]
Aron Reply:
November 29th, 2010 at 10:24 am (Quote)
I completely agree with that last paragraph and am so sorry you had such a rotten experience with that “care” provider. Isn’t it interesting how he assumed a 3rd degree tear was somehow worse than a 6-inch cut through your entire abdomen? I’m sorry you tore at all, but HUGE congratulations on your VBAC and the birth of your beloved little one!
[Reply]
Add Your Comment.
And there’s nothing wrong with a mom choosing a tear over an episiotomy.
Did the doctor also let the mom choose when to push, what position to push in, whom to have in the room, and whether to labor without pitocin?
I wonder if after a delivery over an intact perinium, the doctor says, “You chose not to get sliced open.”
[Reply]