Oct 242010
 

“That’s two 10 pounders. That’s not going anywhere.” – OB to mother while grabbing her belly flesh and jiggling as she lay on the exam table at a 6 week postpartum visit.

Share Button
  
 October 24, 2010  Fatness, OB, postpartum  Add comments

  63 Responses to “"That's Two 10 pounders. That's Not Going Anywhere."”

  1. I hope the mom got up, left the office, and filed a sexual harassment charge and then wrote a letter to the state licensing board AND the hospital where the doctor had privileges, and sent copies of her letters and the police report to the office manager of the practice.

  2. WHAT AN ASS!! I have nothing else to say about that!

  3. That’s gross. Who can actually pick up their belly flab? Ewwww.

    • excuse me? A lot of people can. Please do not disparage the OP’s body or my body because YOU may not be comfortable with it.

    • I can. I’ve had two babies and it’s perfectly normal.

      • You all sound so confident and comfortable with your bodies. I never lost the last couple of pounds and my stomach will never be flat like it was before my babies, since the skin was stretched, and while I know all this in my head, I can’t seem to accept it or be happy with it. I guess this may seem like a silly question, but how can I improve my body image/be proud of who I am, and what can I say to my girls for the future?

        • A lot of women on here are satisfied with their bodies (of all shapes) and a lot are not. I am one of the former but it took work. The first step I took seems minor, but when people complimented me I started simply saying “thank you”. Accepting that others appreciated me went a really long way toward accepting that I’m beautiful…even with my flaws…which include a nice [not so] little belly flap, stretch marks from crotch to boobs, and saggy boobs (which conveniently cover some of the stretch marks lol). Another step is to remember that your perceived imperfections are a roadmap of the journey that brought you to motherhood. Here’s a great website that has helped many women learn to love their post-pregnancy bodies. I think it will also help you figure out how to talk to your daughters. Mine is 11 and still has some body issues, but she mostly accepts who she is and I think it’s a major accomplishment for a girl of that age…especially one who is a little heavier than some of the skinny minnies at her school.

          http://theshapeofamother.com/

        • I guess I separate my “fat” into two categories: what I can easily control (as in, what I have because I eat too much junk, LOL) and what I can’t control (the stretch marks and flabby skin from having carried 3 babies to term, individually, in 4 years).

          I’m not fond of the fat that I have from eating too much. I think that the reason it bothers me is that it’s a reflection of myself on the inside – a lack of self-control. (This is not the case for everyone who is overweight, but I know I can lose weight by cutting out junk food and exercising, so for me, that’s what it is.) Maybe, in comparison, the flab/loose skin is a reflection of what I’ve done by carrying three babies, and that’s why it doesn’t bother me, even if I don’t think it is physically attractive.

          The other day, in the restroom, my 3-year-old asked me, “what’s on your tummy?” meaning my stretch marks. I explained that they came from carrying three babies in my belly, and that they happen to some people. Not all, but some – but that they’re worth it because I have her and her little brother and sister.

          So I guess, for me, it’s about how my physical appearance reflects on my character (which, incidentally, is not something you can judge by looking at someone else, and I would NEVER do so). The overweight part (I am 10 lbs overweight now; I was 27 lbs overweight when I got pg with my 3-month-old) is something I can control by eating healthier and exercising more, while the loose skin is something I can’t control, but that came from carrying 3 babies, which I happen to think is a pretty positive thing. :)

          I hope you can find something that will help you feel better about your appearance. I want to check out that website Krista posted, but my work has it blocked. (Thanks for sharing it, though, I will look when I get home!)

    • You don’t have kids, do you?

    • Any woman who didn’t get a complimentary tummy tuck with her c-section has belly flab a few days after giving birth, and many still have some several weeks after giving birth, regardless of their actual weight.

      Would love to sit up finding creative ways to insult trolls, but I have to help my daughters catch their school bus in the morning.

      • Do they actually give tummy tucks with C-Sections? I was going to mention it when I had mine but forgot. I don’t know if I’d ask for one, but was wanting to say something to lighten the mood a bit but I was so damn scared I couldn’t say anything lol

        • Oh, they have them. They’re called Mommytucks. How do you think Angelia Jolie looked so good after twins? I’ve had three singletons in 3 years and I must say, I have quite a healthy ‘flap’ on my belly now from all the stretching.

          I’m sorry to hear your C-Section was so scary. I can’t even imagine! I do love that you wanted to make a joke or two to lighten the mood. That’s my style too!

    • Sadly, people like you are common. I have belly flab. I will always have belly flab, because the scar tissue from a non-pregnancy-related surgery ensures that even at my trimmest, I will have a flap of skin. I’ve had OBs comment and a midwife comment, and jerks on the street have commented like you. Please remember, OB or no, Midwife or no, person or no, YOU MAY NOT COMMENT ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY WITHOUT PERMISSION UNLESS IT’S AN EMERGENCY OR REQUIRES TREATMENT. Except a general compliment, of course. Manners have downgraded drastically. If you can’t say anything nice, shut your trap.

      • What??? People on the street? Seriously? What makes people think they can comment negatively on someone else’s appearance? What happened to “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Wow.

        And as for the midwife/OBs, unless you are commenting for health-related reasons, keep your mouth shut. Even if you’re suggesting surgery – just don’t. If a woman wants to have the flab surgically removed, guess what? She’ll bring it up on her own. I can guarantee it. So you don’t have to worry about it – trust me, in this day and age, most women know their options when it comes to cosmetic surgery, and for those who don’t, if they’re interested, they’ll ASK.

        Sorry, this irritates me because, if nothing else, what if a woman feels bad about her body, would like to get something done, but doesn’t have the money? A dr/mw bringing it up just makes her feel worse about it.

        Plus, why should we have to think something has to be done about it? It’s natural for your body to change over time. If I can deal with how my body looks, then I think YOU can deal with how my body looks, too.

        Oof. Sorry. Had to rant. So sorry you’ve encountered so many rude people.

    • It’s hard for me to believe that people like you actually exist. Can’t we just collectively delete this?

      Ugh.

      I also second shapeofamother.com

    • Oh no, not fat people!!!!

      F- you, man; I could do it before I had a child.

      Like it’s already been said, Shape of a Mother.

    • Let me guess–you’re, what, 13? 15? Yeah, 15 sounds about right for the kind of sizist, ignorant crap you just spewed. Grow up and do everyone a favor and stay off the internet until you do. Or read something productive–like the comments you’ve received here–and get a real view of the world instead of your little teeny bopper world where skin has perfect elasticity no matter what happens to it.

      Even the thinnest mothers I know can pull out their belly–as in tiny, well-toned, sexy by Hollywood standards women. After all, it just STRETCHED TO A SIZE THAT ACCOMMODATES A TINY HUMAN BEING. And the vast majority of women still have some flab at 6 weeks postpartum–almost none are snapped back into shape by then (though some are, it’s incredibly rare).

      Go troll a video game forum where you belong.

  4. Oh. My. Word. I would’ve slapped the doctor. No excuse for that.

  5. Jerk. Bitch. Pick the gender.
    Mom, NO ONE has a right to talk to you that way. Disgusting.

  6. I’m floored. What a terrible, disgusting, JUVENILE thing to do. I personally would report the doc in some of the afore mentioned ways.
    HOWEVER…the mean side of me would like to think I would grab his “bits”…and say “That feels like a 2 incher. That’s not gonna get any bigger!”
    Sorry if that offended.

  7. I’m sorry to the OP. My nice midwife told me I looked “so skinny” after my 6 week visit though I know I’m overweight. I know that I did loose some with the baby and a little with the waterweight, but she was just plain nice to compliment me. I wish you had the same treatment or at the very least a doc with a mouth SHUT and hands to himself. Geesh!

  8. What, I’m a pair of Guinness Book sized McDonald’s hamburgers?

    And what’s with the jiggling?

    Is this sort of verbal humiliation and bodily assault “medicine?” I find it very hard to believe six years of postgraduate education plus years of additional training teach this.

    Ugh.

  9. There are no words….

    OP…I’m sorry. That must have been emotionally devastating. Because you know all us post partum moms have such a positive body image at our 6 week check, especially considering the fluctuating hormones and lack of sleep. Hugs!!!! I’m sure you are just beautiful!!!

  10. Did OP to the same thing to the OB? Only one of the docs I dealt with was actually slender. Most of them had hit up the McD’s drive thru a few times themselves, no room to talk!

    And as a side note- Not even my HUSBAND has the balls to do something like that to me. God help the idiot who ever does. That’s just demeaning and setting someone up for body image issues. I’m sorry you dealt with that OP.

    • That doesn’t take balls, it takes a lack of them. As in, that was a twisted coward who is abusing people that s/he knows s/he can because s/he is such a loser in his/her daily life.

  11. Yes, yes they are. RIGHT out the door and off to file some complaints and see if the police will actually file charges for that, because “jiggling” is not medically necessary.

  12. WTF? Aside from the fact that 20lbs of belly fat after giving birth is not that much, what exactly is the purpose of dissing this mother’s body? I’m pretty skinny myself, but I had quite a bit of belly fat immeditately postpartum. It went away fairly quickly.

  13. What was the purpose of the jiggling?!? The visual imagery I have in my head from this quote is very disturbing. I’m so sorry you had this happen to you, OP.

    • thats exactly what i was thinking too… i remember what my belly looked like after my first, it was jiggly and wrinkly and gross. and it did get a little better after about 6 months. but i have to say it is a little embarrasing and i would have probably knocked the OB flat on his ass lol

  14. So to go with the motion of the ocean, I’ve always heard that it would be pretty hard to get to england in a row boat…

  15. I don’t get the “two ten pounders” part though. I’m guessing it wasn’t twins (or if it was, mad props for the mom who had 20 lb of babies in her!). was it two 10 pounders in a row? like, this was after the second pregnancy?

  16. How incredibly disrespectful. GAH!

  17. this is when you say “I may be fat (I just had a baby) but you’re ugly and I can diet!”

  18. Up, so I am 17 mos PP and weigh 106 lbs. Even when I was 95 lbs after my FIRST child, I could still “pick up” two fistfuls of saggy skin and chub.

    Some of us just aren’t blessed with elastic skin. I was 40w6d and people thought I was having triplets, my belly got so large, LOL.

    yes, I despise my stomach and breasts but they grew and nourished two beautiful children so oh well!

  19. I think the doctor needs to be checked for drugs and mental illnesses. This statement is so far off the wall that is qualifies as a cry for help. Who would ever do one of those things let alone both? Then again I know a doctor who got his license yanked for pulling a gun on a patient during an office visit.

  20. whaaaaaaaaaa…. wow

    To jiggle someone’s belly? I think my mother stopped doing that to me when it stopped making me giggle… when I was 5.

    This OB needs to be in a psych ward for evaluation.

  21. I’m tired of people telling women to be ashamed of the way their bodies look.

    It was really wonderful when my midwife commented on how my stretch marks made “a beautiful sunburst” on my belly. I had always felt that way about them, I always thought they were beautiful, but felt bad about liking them because I’m not supposed to!

    I also think I look 10 times better with baby weight (an extra 30 pounds).

    So people can just suck it.

  22. For God’s sake, she’s only six weeks postpartum! Should she have been doing crunches in the delivery suite?

    • Actually, it’s quite common for women to have a separation of the abdominal muscles after pregnancy. For some it is mild and resolves itself over time. For others it’s severe and in the most severe cases can require corrective surgery.

      Doing crunches with an unresolved abdominal separation can worsen it, and will make your “belly” stick out more as your internal organs are not adequately supported by the separated abdominal muscle wall.

  23. This is just so mean- do these docs listen to what comes out of their mouths? uuuuuuughghghghg. It takes months and months to lose the baby weight for most people!

    My husband still hasn’t lost the baby weight, lol.

  24. my LC actually asked me if i was eating… i am one of *thoes* women that most others hate that bounces back within a week of having a baby. i was visiting the LC and she looked at me and said “are you eating??” I said yes and she said “are you eating enough?”…. i had to explain to her that i bounce back quickly… that almost offends me as much as this comment

  25. Am I the only one who thinks this more likely came from a female OB? It just sounds plain bitchy and something more like a female OB would think she could get away with simply because she IS female >:( Some women think that having breasts gives them the right to comment on the bodies of any other person with breasts.

  26. How much your stomach stretches has NOTHING to do with the size of the baby.

    Both my babies were within 2oz of each other at birth. And with one no one could tell I was pregnant until 8 months (including my grandmother when I lifted my shirt and asked if I was crazy or did I still not look pregnant) and with my second I was “beach ball out front” huge from 6 months. And I’m only 5’2″ and short bodied so there’s not a lot of space for babies to hide.

    Also with my first I lost 30lbs before 4 months and gained back 15, with my second I lost 15 and gained it back.

    With my first as soon as I gave birth my stomach was as flat as it had been since highschool. With my second it was flabby, loose skin, typical PP.

    And they were only 20 months apart so its not like I was that much older.

    Every one is different, every pregnancy is different, and a bit of excess skin after birth is FINE.

Leave a Reply