Totally true. You know that before the invention of gunpowder, armies would have pregnant women on hand before a big battle, just to save their amniotic fluid for its explosive power. That’s actually how Florence Nighthingale helped defeat the Russian Navy during the Crimean War, not to mention the influential power of the ill-fated amniotic fluid attacks during the French-Indian war.

Or….this OB was lying to the mother. Take your pick.

Jane, you’re too much! ROFL!

So what happens when the baby goes into distress for cord prolapse and a c-section is needed, all because they wanted to keep the freakin’ floors clean?

In 5 births, nothing ever exploded. With my last, my midwives even congratulated me on having the cleanest birth they had ever seen- amniotic fluid, blood,everything, was all on one chux pad. The baby was born in the caul,which helped, but still- no explosions.

By the way Jane, you’re brilliant. My first though on reading this was ” OH NOES- what if it gets on the twinkle lights.” But yours was MUCH better.

I must have unknowingly left amniotic fluid all over the stairs of our house and on the passenger seat of my husband’s car. No other explanation for it since my waters broke naturally instead of a doctor breaking them for me. I’ll have to remember that for this time around! pfffffft.

And Jane- loved your comment! lol

I did allow my midwife to break my water (she mentioned it, not coerced or forced…and being suggestable in labor I consented) in my 7th birth. Because baby was so low, her comment was, “huh, not much came out at all. I am still gonna get all wet. Oh well.” She said this joking, I was not offended. She did not get splashed, but I think she’s seen it and it has happened. However, her thinking was that baby might just come out when she broke the water since baby was so low. All that fluid was stuck behind the tilted OP head. Breaking for housekeeping is not a good reason. Also, less intervention for meconium if they don’t know there is meconium!

Am I the only one who’s confused about the barometric pressure part? Doesn’t that refer to air density and like, altitude and weather systems? The “explosive amniotic fluid” thing is obviously a lie, but what is the doc even trying to say? Maybe s/he meant to use a different word? Or maybe just thinking “barometric is a big word, I bet she won’t question that–it sounds medical!”

Or maybe someone could explain what barometric pressure could ever have to do with amniotic fluid, at all? I can see how it might explode *in outer space* like, about the same time your eyeballs explode. But yeah…maybe I’m just confused?

Cedar, I love the eyeballs part. hilarious! :p The doc is using big words to a mother in a vulnerable state. I remember with two/three of my labors telling everyone “I’m tired. I’d like to go home now- let’s do the rest tomorrow” and actually sort of believing it could be done, even though I knew I had to press on. I can imagine this mother feeling powerless and then after the birth reviewing it all in her mind and being fighting mad at that doc. I’m furious and s/he wasn’t even talking to me. Jane- I could just cry that’s so freaking funny. I’d love to see the docs face after hearing you say it in her defense. You should be at every birth that has a post here.

So meteorology is now a part of obstetric training, and pregnant women are natural barometers? Interesting. You know, if you let a labouring mother squat, the amniotic fluid won’t gush out all over you, which during hurricane season is definitely something to think about. I’m sure the housekeeping staff that you call in to mop up the inconvenient mess would be deeply grateful.

Just found this interesting thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=340910

Here’s a thought, Doc…tell housekeeping to invest in a few more damn mops!
And the only times I have seen amniotic fluid come anywhere *close* to “explosion” quality is when the care provider has done AROM…jeez…

My waters “exploded” during pushing at my homebirth, but ya know what? My midwife was prepared for the eventuality and nothing got on my couch where I was pushing. If a midwife can think ahead and prevent a huge mess, then shouldn’t a dr who is “edumacated” enough to throw words like “barometric pressure” around be able to think that way too?

I keep seeing a recurring theme in my responses – NOT. MY. DAMN. PROBLEM.

With my second baby (first home birth), my amniotic fluid pretty much did explode everywhere. My amniotic sac burst so hard that the entire bathroom was splashed, including way up my husband’s pants leg. My mother said it sounded like someone had taken a very large water balloon and thrown it in there.

Amazingly, it didn’t cause any difficulties in my son’s birth and it all wiped up with towels in just a few minutes. Oh, the horror of the splashing fluid!

Sorry doctor, this isn’t the bridge of the starship Enterprise. Throwing out random terminology doesn’t impress me or explain what’s going on. It only makes you look like a pompous idiot.

Now if you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, you might have something there.

My AROM is where the “explosion” happened, but then again, it was on the nurse so I guess that didn’t matter to the doc. When my third was born in the caul, it did make a bit of a mess, but considering *I* cleaned up the mess myself only a couple of hours after his birth, I’m not feeling too bad for anyone at a hospital who might have to clean it up. You know, people who are paid to clean up messes…mine not being the worst!

I’m another “exploding waters” mama. SROM, though. My health teacher back in 9th grade commented once that when her water broke, it hit the wall and soaked a nurse, lol. Mine also just kept gushing during contractions like a freaking water park. My nurses were busy cleaning up after me They didn’t seem to care. They were just surprised in my second birth that I wasn’t kidding when I told them I hold way more fluid than even my giganto belly looked like it was holding and that I gush like old faithful.

My husband, btw, thinks it’s awesome that I never got it on anything in the house XD Broke in the bathtub the first time and on the nurses talking about sending me home the second time.

I had my membranes ruptured to encourage my kid to exit, but I like what my doctor said when she did it – “Be prepared, you’re going to get messy!”

Now if you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow, you might have something there.

I think I love you.

In my home birth, my water DID explode! It was pretty awesome. I was pushing and..well I can’t say how far it went, but I DO know it hit my midwife in the face.

If its not a “housekeeping problem” in my house, then I think the hospital can handle it..

“Honey, go into my purse and get out an extra twenty for the housekeeping staff. Are we good, now? Can you not subject me to unnecessary medical intervention or should I also get them a fruit basket? By the way, do you even know the names of the people who clean up around here, or is your concern for ‘housekeeping’ just a bullsh!t excuse to do whatever you feel like to my body and my baby?”

Further, do people not regularly throw up and pee in hospital halls, not to mention beds and rooms? Bleed all over the place at times? Spill food and drinks? Slosh dirty mop water out of the bucket?

If you take the “housekeeping” issue at face value… really? Is it really that serious?

What cracks me up is that its accepted that a lot of women poop during labor because of the whole pushing aspect of things… but no one can handle amniotic fluid?

Oh noes, not uncontrolled amniotic fluid! Unacceptable!

lol…

Ok… I think this all depends on how much fluid’s in there. I had my membranes ruptured with my first two. The first one was pretty controlled, my second was like a continuous waterfall. She literally had GALLONS of fluid and it went everywhere. LOL

Well, I see an easy solution here. If you let mama labour in the tub, nobody will care about all the fluid!

They could save a BUNDLE on housekeeping costs if they supported homebirth.

Really? Because when my midwife broke my water she had to duck and barely missed it shooting out in her direction. I highly doubt it is any better in a housekeeping standpoint!

With my 4th I was 9cm with a bulging bag. My midwife said to give a little push and I did and BLAMO! my water exploded and everyone jumped back like a firecracker had gone off. My daughter surfed on out two contractions later
After she was born and they were mopping up, literally…they were cleaning fluid up in about a 6 ft radius around the bed
It’ll never forget that image of three people leaping back from me in perfect unison.

This was my contribution. After he said this I asked, couldn’t the baby be born in the caul? (Knowing full well). He said, “That rarely happens. I’ve never seen it” I said, “Well yeah since you’re breaking everyones waters.”

I’m amazed that women who’s membranes rupture when they’re standing up don’t just shoot off into the sky like rockets.