Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Oct
12
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“Don’t Bother. She’s Been Like This Since She Came In.”
“Don’t bother. She’s been like this since she came in.” -Anesthesiologist to nurse trying to comfort a distraught mother just prior to an urgent cesarean.
There are 32 comments to this post.
Sarah Dorrance-Minch had this to say,
Oct 12, 2010 @ 4:46 am (Quote)
Isn’t that precisely why the nurse is trying to comfort her? Why else would the nurse try to offer comfort?
And isn’t it hard to do your job around a distraught patient’s misery? I know I have a hard time doing anything when one of my children is upset or having a meltdown. If you can’t be compasionate, try being pragmatic.
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Jane Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 5:16 am (Quote)
Well, according to the anesthesiologist, you only comfort the people who are calm.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 9:51 am (Quote)
That still doesn’t address the impractical/inconvenient aspect of emotional distress. Wouldn’t the anaesthesiologist want to quiet the mother down to minimize distractions to the doctors and nurses?
Or is s/he just really quick to whip out the knock-out gas?
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Oh, I feel sick!!!!!
OP, where ever you are at the moment, I am sending big hugs to you. My heart is breaking for you. Please tell us that everything turned out OK and if you needed help dealing with this asswipe’s comments, you found it in wonderful family and friends or at least a councilor.
PS – join ICAN
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Lisa in Texas had this to say,
Oct 12, 2010 @ 5:11 am (Quote)
How horrible! After 4 homebirths I had to have an emergency c-section at 31 weeks with my 5th child. The nurses and the anesthesiologists couldn’t have been nicer or more comforting right when I needed them. Yes — even the anesthesiologist was comforting! Why go into the medical profession if you can’t offer comfort and compassion????
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Anesthesiologist: “I’m afraid there’s a tiny fragment of compassion lodged in your heart, nurse. It will have to come out.”
Ditto. Even if he/she feels that the nurse is wasting their time, its the nurse’s time, not the anesthesiologist. Smile, nod, walk away. I think the nurse was doing a good thing. A little compassion can go a long way to making a situation be a little less traumatic.
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That is horrible. When I had my section, the only medical professional who was compassionate to me in my fear was actually the anesthesiologist! The nurses and OB were evil.
Ugh, I am sorry OP. So sorry you went through this. I hope you can have a lovely VBAC! I had one a year ago! 
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Heather Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 10:01 am (Quote)
Not a single one was compassionate to me. One nurse grabbed my face and shouted, “Shut up! You’re scaring the other patients!” at me. They then refused to let my husband hold my hand during the administration of the spinal, so I had to hold onto the nurse who yelled at me for crying while my body finished transition and moved to get ready to push and my contractions piggybacked while I desperately tried to hold still while the anesthesiologist broke the equipment he was using to stab a needle into my spine and I thought he was cussing at me even though I was doing my best not to move, had stopped crying and was making peace with the thought that I was possibly going to die.
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The Deranged Housewife had this to say,
Oct 12, 2010 @ 7:00 am (Quote)
The “don’t bother” part is very sad. For both of my c-sections my anesthesiologist was wonderful – the first one held my hand (checking to make sure I was still alive, maybe? LOL) and the second had to show my husband how to turn the camera on during the birth. LOL But both were nice and *did* comfort me, I do remember. But then I wasn’t crying or anything, just was slightly pissed off. LOL 
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I wish medical staff would always realize how words can stick in your head in a scary/traumatic/uncertain life event. The anesthesiologist got mad when the spinal wouldn’t go in…he crunched and crunched, swore at me–strapped me down and said to “get over it” when I started to cry he just held the mask down more until I knocked out…and I got a lot of “Hhut up at least your baby is fine-why are you crying?” and slaps on the face when I woke up from GA. To this day I can hear thier voices in my head and my stomach knots up…when something is scary-especially to a woman worrying over her baby-that’s not the time to act like an ass!
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Alison Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 9:14 am (Quote)
They slapped you in the face? That’s horrible. I hope you were able to file some sort of complaint.
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Diamond C Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 1:19 pm (Quote)
they could care less, the medical system here in germany is quite scary…no one to “check and balance” these facilities since they are government run. it’s one of the biggest reason i had my daughter at home next instead of going into one of those german hospitals again! they even assualted my one year old (the baby i had in the hospital here) then i DID go crazy and raised hell because it’s one thing to hurt me and another to hurt an innocent little one!
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 1:58 pm (Quote)
There aren’t exactly checks and balances on American hospitals, either. Not in practice. Privatization is no guarantee of consumer power when facilities are essentially run by private cartels. (Which is how I would classify both insurance companies and medical guilds such as ACOG.) Cartels and monopolies do not create or embody market freedom, they just vampirize it.
It sounds like the hospital culture in Germany is really hostile to patients, though. That sucks. I’m sorry you went through it. (Note to self: if sick in Europe, don’t be sick in Germany if I can help it.)
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sarah Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 5:41 pm (Quote)
That is completely disgusting. I work in a maternity hospital and just felt really sick and upset, not only with the main post but the idea someone would slap a patient- especially one who was distressed. And to tell a patient to ‘get over it’…absolutely disgusting, why did they go into health anyway?
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Heather Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 10:03 am (Quote)
*hugs* I’m so, so sorry. So very sorry.
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Diamond C Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 1:29 pm (Quote)
Well it was fuel I’ll tell you that! I’m not sorry anymore-and I sure as hell got angry. Then I dived headfirst into everything birth and became a birthing doula and aspiring midwife. Because I want things to be different for someone who may be in a similar situation-I know words can hurt and scare as well as scar. I just wish that again, medical staff needs to realize just how deeply words can effect a memory and be the difference between fear/sadness and acceptance/comfort.
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So, the anaesthetists attempt at consoling her failed, or at least she didn’t respond how he would like (I wonder what he tried) So, if he failed, then everyone else will too. And if the mother didn’t respond to his attempt in the correct manner, then she deserves to suffer anyway and no one else should offer her any comfort whatsoever. Bad patient. Let her wallow in her own distress. Nice.
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This is mine. My third child — my first two were homebirths because I am deathly terrified of hospitals/doctors/surgery etc. Prior to having children I was diagnosed with PTSD after surgery on my wrist while I was awake. So yes, when I had to transfer to the hospital because my baby was transverse I was in quite a state — crying, wailing, carrying on… The anesthesiologist was a jerk from the minute he walked into my room. And not to just to me, either — he was an ass to pretty much everyone. My surgical nurse even tried to find a different anesthesiologist, but Dr. Jerk was the only one available. He was cruel and mean. I can only imagine what he said about me as soon as I was put under.
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Cmat Reply:
October 12th, 2010 at 3:09 pm (Quote)
I’m sorry you had to deal with him. Sometimes I don’t see why people really stay in a job like that. Obviously they’re unhappy in some respect, so find another job! Hopefully someone turned him in for you when it was all said and done. When a nurse is even trying to replace him I think that says something.
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Heather Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 10:05 am (Quote)
*hugs* I was terrified of mine, too. I’m so sorry you went through that.
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Sarah Dorrance-Minch Reply:
October 13th, 2010 at 12:21 pm (Quote)
It really sucks when the person who has the power to either keep you from feeling pain or to “accidentally” allow you to feel agony is a bully. I suppose, given my personal habits, I am not the best person to criticize, but I have read too many reports of “natural” c-sections and other surgeries, and I can’t help but wonder if anaesthesiology by its very nature attracts frustrated sadists.
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Add Your Comment.
I was just sick in my mouth with this statement!!!
I am speechless I really am….
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