Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
30
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Thoughtful Thursday! “That Is The Best Six Week Postpartum Kegel I’ve Seen In Years…”
“That is the best six week postpartum kegel I’ve seen in YEARS. You are clearly doing your exercises!” -Midwife to a mom who had significant tearing and repair during the birth.
There are 18 comments to this post.
Charity had this to say,
Sep 30, 2010 @ 5:12 am (Quote)
My midwife says the same thing after every baby… That and “It doesn’t even look like you had a baby!” LOL
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alice Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 7:51 am (Quote)
Why, I’d love to know what all those vaginas that ‘look’ like they’ve had a baby look like?!
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Jane Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 8:16 am (Quote)
Maybe that’s where you get the “I delivered a baby” medal?
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O-mom Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 9:14 am (Quote)
well I hope that most don’t look much different but i have a wedge shaped scar from where my tear was stitched apart instead of together and when it hurts and I see it I get very emotional and cry because the scarring is very obvious but more because I feel like someone else did that to me and in such an intimate place that is so important to me (because it IS where my babies enter this world)so I would love to “look like I’ve never delivered a baby” from that birth (unless it was just from baby alone), but my 2nd was an awesome homebirth and if that baby had left me scarred I wouldn’t mind one bit, but of course he left my bottom quite comfy. Its less about the look of the scarring but the pain and why its there, the OB refused to check my stitches after repeated requests until finally at 6weeks i had a nurse check who promplty did what she could to’fix’ it.
Still, my husband doen’t see me any differently and I think I do still have a “pretty vagina”, imperfect but unique and I can look at my babies and say ‘look what I can do, amazing, huh?’ Ha maybe it is my ‘medal’ for a unmedicated hospital birth. God I hope thats not what that OB was thinking when she did those bad stitches.
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alice Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm (Quote)
I suppose that I was asking that question a bit sarcastically. By saying it doesn’t look like she’s had a baby, she’s suggesting other mothers *do* look like they’ve had a baby. Images of gaping, saggy, scarred vulvas spring to mind (ah, thats what ‘they’ must look like….!)
I, sadly am also ‘altered’ after my births- I’m rather asymmetrical now! Do I see this as my ‘medal? No. But I do see it as just another chapter to my constantly changing body (puberty, putting on/loosing weight, pregnancy, stretch marks, birth, wrinkles, double chin……oh the joys!)
O-mom, it makes me sad how you feel about your scar and I’m sorry for your dreadful experience. It is negligence on the OB’s part not to have checked your stitches *especially* after you’d asked him/her- they probably realise the bad job the’d done.
Jane, i love your comments on here, and would just like to make a point on terminology.
I have ‘delivered’ quite a few babies, most births I attend I have ‘caught’ or ‘received’ them, but I have ‘given birth’ myself twice.
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I’m sure it was meant well. It’s a Thursday after all. But pleasepleaseplease remember that some women don’t like comments about their genitals at all, unless it’s a medical problem. I’m glad the midwife had a good enough relationship with her client that she knew this would be well received, and that she said it respectfully and appropriately to the mother in question. Good on that midwife and that relationship!
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Jane Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 8:17 am (Quote)
She was complimenting the kegel, though, not the body part. That seems to me like a compliment of the mother’s behavior (her commitment to postpartum exercise) and her musculature.
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Brie B. Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 10:44 am (Quote)
Agreed. It’s like if a personal trainer were trying to compliment someone on their progress, and they said, “Wow! You’ve made some big gains in upper-body strength!” (as opposed to “Wow! Your arms have gotten really big!”)
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StaudtCJ Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 11:11 am (Quote)
Honestly, I wouldn’t want my midwife to be watching/feeling me do kegels, much less comment in any way. But that’s just me. I do think it’s much better than “OMG you have huge muscles” or whatever. I’m not criticizing, just pointing out a different view. I just don’t want anyone commenting on my genitals, whether on their muscle tone, appearance, size, or anything else, unless it’s a medical thing that must be addressed.
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This is mine- I was really worried about the slow healing on the four tears (ouch!) that I sustained in my very unexpectedly rapid birth of my 9lb baby boy. My midwife and I had been talking about how Kegels can help get things back into shape. She said, “Well, do you want to do a kegel while I take a look and check if your muscle tone is recovering well?” and when I did she laughed and said the above quote. It was all really quite reassuring and congenial- and when I later related this to my husband, his reaction was also, shall we say, pleasantly surprising.
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Add Your Comment.
I had a OBGYN doc say something almost exactly like this at my 6 week PP visit. She lifted the drape, looked at my vagina and said, “WOW! You must really be doing your Kegels. You’ve got great tone [as she prods my perineum]. You tell all your girlfriends that if they want pretty vaginas, they have to do Kegels like you!”
…uuuuh…thanks? I think. Seeing her a few days later in the produce section of the grocery store was awkward.
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Cmat Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 6:12 am Cmat(Quote)
I couldn’t help laughing at the “pretty vagina” part. lol
At least she was upbeat? Don’t think kegels and vaginas is the first thing that comes up in my convos with friends. Pretty much the only place it comes up is on here..
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Jane Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 6:27 am Jane(Quote)
You mean that’s not your standard greeting?
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alice Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 1:40 pm alice(Quote)
I’m just picturing the ‘Malibu Stacey’ doll now “tell all your girlfriends if they want pretty vaginas, do your kegels!”
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Kim Reply:
September 30th, 2010 at 7:27 am Kim(Quote)
My friends and I can’t be the only group of ladies that do talk about Kegels. It’s not a shall we say first date convo but definitely over coffee and pastries
We all agree 4 out of every 5 people love vagina.
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