Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
Sep
8
Posted by My OB said WHAT?!?.
“…That is What Got You Into This Mess In The First Place!”
“You know what would really help? If you could put her leg behind her head. Oh wait, that is what got you into this mess in the first
place!” -OB to father who was helping to hold the mother’s leg during pushing.
There are 43 comments to this post.
I think the doc who said this must be a sociopath.
There is no valid reason for a comment like this in a birthing environment and the sad thing is he has no idea how inappropriate he was being.
I bet he’s still wondering why he was smacked in the face and no one laughed.
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Crap! I’ve used this one before trying to get couples to get intimate when an induction is eminent. Except the conversation usually goes something like this:
Couple: The doc wants to induce us on Tuesday.
Me: What’s the medical reasoning?
Couple: Well, I’ll be 41+1. Is there something we can be doing to get this going so I can avoid induction?
(Lots of other chatter about what we’ve talked about re: induction and when it’s really necessary)
Me: Lots of Sex… Remember, it’s what got you here in the first place…
Couple: How?
Me: Remember, it used to be fun? It still can be, think of all the new and fun positions you can try…Oh and dad, make sure she gets hers, that’s what makes the oxytocin flow like a river.
Couple:
Me: other options; mexican food, my eggplant parmesan recipe thats in the book I gave you, Do you want to be induced? How about you read those articles and get back to me on that one. I’ve got lots of ways to get you ready, but that baby’s gonna come when she’s darn good and ready.
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Erin Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 3:30 pm (Quote)
My doulas and midwife all said that the best way to get the baby out is the same way you got it in. That said, the way they said it and the way you say it is definitely less crass, more funny, and more helpful than that OB!
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Amanda Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 5:27 pm (Quote)
That is nothing like what this doctor said, I can’t imagine anyone being offended by that. During childbirth the last thing I want to hear is that I’m in a “mess” and joking around about sexual positions would send my anxiety through the roof. You’re fine…and I think what you said is absolutely true, DH and I joke that our babies are always conceived and born in the same way…:)
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Cmat Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 5:53 am (Quote)
I think your conversation actually gives helpful tips. Plus, its kind of funny. I would honestly laugh if I had that kind of convo with a MW or OB. The original comment is just kind of like “I’m frustrated that you’re not doing what I want and things aren’t going how *I* want them to.. so I’m going to be insulting and vulgar.”
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molly had this to say,
Sep 8, 2010 @ 3:30 pm (Quote)
Inappropriate sexual and moral comment aside, who the hell would birth with her legs behind her head? WTF?
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alice Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 4:00 pm (Quote)
“oooh, there’s a position i didn’t read in my ‘alternative’ birth position book! is that evidence based practice doc?”
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The Deranged Housewife Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 8:33 pm (Quote)
Maybe someone from Cirque du Soleil? LOL!
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This was a client of mine who was doing a great job pushing her baby out (with no drugs). The doctor was just trying to be funny, and didn’t realize what an ass he sounded like when he said that. I just gave him the mom look – the one where they know they did something wrong!
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Robyn Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 6:13 pm (Quote)
Kinda reminds me of my brother. We were visiting extended family (the matriarch of which is a little on the prudish side) and he told a joke. It was funny, but off color. He says “I knew I messed up when *nobody* laughed.”
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who do you know who can put their legs behind their head whether they’re in labor or not?
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Jane Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 5:14 pm (Quote)
I swear, in my art class in senior year of high school, I looked up to find another girl in my year had lifted up her leg and put it up over her shoulder, behind her neck. She was just sitting there with her leg behind her head, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
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Nope, Doc. If you want to be really technical, it was doggy style…. Or me on top…Can’t really remember. we were too drunk at the moment. But, we will keep the “feet behind head” position in mind during our next conception.
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alice Reply:
September 8th, 2010 at 4:46 pm (Quote)
You’re just reminded me of something. An ob I used to work with once said to me “women should give birth the way they conceive- on their backs” my reply to him was “I did- on all fours!”
His face was a picture!
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What is the technical term for that position for birthing? We have the dead cockroach position.. now name this one..
Its really none of doctor’s business how, when, where or why that baby is in there. If you feel the need to comment, I’ve got some tape here…
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Brittany U Reply:
September 9th, 2010 at 2:56 pm (Quote)
One of our doulas called the reclining position the “squattle”. Not sure what she meant to call it but we all loved it so much that the name stuck.
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I totally got the joke and I totally laughed just now lol. I don’t think that sex jokes, especially when it’s obvious that sex has taken place and the joke is being told by someone who regularly works with the ultimate result of sexuality, is inappropriate… I think it’s funny. Sex isn’t something to be solemn about. Enjoy it, laugh at it, cherish it. Why can we joke about poop but not sex (which really is just another bodily function)?
I like knowing it when the other people in the room are non-prudes like me lol.
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laura Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 1:21 pm (Quote)
This isn’t about anyone’s attitude toward sex. It’s silly and illogical to assume that just because the OP and some of us don’t find this funny, we’re all prudes. And it’s pretty rude to suggest that because you DO find it funny, you’re some kind of superior “non-prude”. The OP was offended and hurt by it or she wouldn’t have submitted it, and it’s a pretty a-hole move to laugh when someone’s offended and hurt. Mmkay? Even if it doesn’t bother you, shrug it off and MOVE ALONG. There’s no need to name-call.
As I said on the facebook thread, if this had taken place with a doc I knew VERY well, after a margarita or two, a couple weeks after the birth, that’s one thing. But in the middle of pushing? Yeah, that’s not the time for pointless wisecracks.
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Nicole Reply:
September 10th, 2010 at 3:55 pm (Quote)
I wasn’t saying I’m superior… just different. It’s totally cool to be a prude and it’s not a name, in my book. We’re all different and beautiful that way, I was poking fun at myself for being the opposite. And there are plenty of examples of stupid things said that the OP found funny, and thus ridiculous enough to submit. I don’t think this site is meant to only blast providers in their stupid/offensive moments, but also in their stupid/funny moments… I found this to be a stupid/funny moment 
Sorry to offend, though I feel you are overreacting a little.
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So is it more polite to mention my DH has a short fuse for people talking negatively about me before or after the OB has a bloody nose? He’s nearly done it for a lot less…
Oh, and whether or not the parents originally thought of the pregnancy as ‘this mess’ doesn’t matter. Its not your job to make social, financial, moral, or birth control decisions for the parents… EVER.
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