Wow… just wow…

arrggg!! I was only 21 when I had my first and he is “still” nursing at 26 months. If someone had said that to me straight after the birth I would have been so so hurt and it would have really knocked my confidence. This is so sad.

I really hate that young mothers are treated this way when it comes to breastfeeding. A young mama is just as capable of breastfeeding as an older one, with the correct support.

Translation: “You don’t want to feel like a failure, so I’ll tell you failure is certain and you can always feel like you failed without ever having tried.”

Alternate Translation: “It takes time to help a new mom learn to breastfeed, time I could be spending on paperwork, and I just don’t see the value in it.”

Something like, “I failed at breastfeeding and I always felt like a failure so I make sure that anyone I could help, I don’t, and instead sabotage their efforts, so that no one around me succeeds so I don’t have to feel like a failure, because everyone else is, too.”
Is this what they call transference?
I know there’s a word out there for people like this. Besides #@$^%^*.

I know breastfeeding is difficult for a lot of people, but it was super-de-duper easy for me. Easier than buying formula or washing bottles. That nurse is an idiot.

I had a similar eperience in the hospital. I had a nurse come in and ask if DS was getting a bottle. I told her no, that I was going to breastfeed. She proceeded to say , with a smug look on her face, that if I didn’t get 5 hours of consecutive sleep I was not going to succeed.

Grrrrrrr…. >:(

That is absolutely disgusting! And it makes me sad.

I was 19 when I had our daughter and had wanted to breastfeed from the start. The first nurse I dealt with- a horrid, fat, ugly little toad- acted so indignant about it. She asked me once the first day when was the last time I nursed Shelby, I can’t remember how long it had been but longer than they’d wanted me to go. She jumped all over me saying that that was why I didn’t need to breastfeed, and that she had already lost a few ounces because I was feeding her enough, and my not feeding her was going to make her life-threateningly sick and she’d have to go to the NICU and have so many problems. She told me she was going to go tell the doctor and brought him back to chastise me (did I mention she did all of this while my mom and husband were momentarily out of the room?). He told me basically the same thing and asked when she last ate and how much. It was only about 20 minutes or so off THEIR schedule, and she’d nursed a full 15 or so minutes on each side (I don’t know how much was coming out, but she was trying to get at it!). Not bad for a one day old! The doctor just said “Oh.” and they both left. The next shift nurse was a WONDERFUL woman. I told her it hurt to BF, so she watched me and was like “Oh no, honey! If you let her latch on like that she’ll tear it off!” and showed me how to properly latch Shelby on, as opposed to the toad saying “Yeah, well, it hurts.” when I’d told her the same thing.

A good or bad nurse can make or break your early in-hospital breastfeeding experiences, especially for us really young mothers.

Dear Nurse,

Go find a new job. Specifically, find a job that doesn’t put you around new moms and babies. While you’re at it, don’t go anywhere near teenagers, either.

I’m a formula feeder, have been from the start (there are reasons) and I still have no idea why people think it’s easier. There’s nothing easy about mixing 8 bottles at a time one handed with a fussy, wiggly baby in your arms, sleep deprived and occasionally at 2am is NOT easy. Nor is trying to mix a bottle at a park or on a road trip where access to warm water is limited at best – because not every baby will take their bottles room temperature. Oh, and it’s a total myth that FF babies will sleep for 5+ hours right from the start. My son wants a bottle every 3 hours like BF babies his age, and that’s pretty common. And it ain’t cheap either – not every baby will like the generic brands or the inexpensive bottles.

I’m unpopular because I have a positive opinion of FF, but man I hate when people make it out to be this magically easy process. It takes work.

“You’re 18, so I’m going to push you into a decision that will cost you hundreds of dollars or more per year, or at the very least leave you standing in line and otherwise using up valuable time getting help from WIC, because obviously you’re too stupid to use the body you were born with.”

Seriously. Why not invest a little time finding out whether her breasts ACTUALLY PRODUCE MILK instead of trying to buffalo her into the more difficult alternative?

And then people complain when young mothers are on assistance to get the formula! Has she heard the news on all the extra money spent (medical, ect) because enough women aren’t breastfeeding? Seriously, get them breastfeeding and breastfeeding well, for your own pocketbook’s sake!

All I can say is “UGH!” When a person wants to BF their child, good advice and support is wonderful. Bad advice, whether from a nurse or LC, can kill it quickly.

I just wish more hospitals would train their nurses in the basics of BF so they can help new mothers out.

Do yourself a favor and get a new job. You’re a failure at this one and you don’t want to feel like that, so go find a job you’re better suited for. One that doesn’t involve interacting with people.

I was 18 when I had my son and although breast feeding wasn’t easy peasy at first, we caught on quickly and he nursed for 13 months. I wish more women would at least give BFing a shot. It can be difficult, but with the right support, many find that it becomes second nature.

I never understood why ppl think formula is easier. Let’s see: wake up at 2am and pick up crying, hungry baby, go to kitchen, find bottle, formula, get water temp right, mix bottle while trying to keep baby from erupting into full screams, feed baby while upright so she doesn’t suck air from bottle, rinse bottle out, go back to bed. OR…roll over, put baby to breast while dozing, put sleeping baby back into co-sleeper/crib….
I get that not everyone can breastfeed, I had to give my ‘exclusively’ breastfeed baby 1 or 2 bottles of formula a day because my body just couldn’t keep up with baby’s voracious appetite (no supply issues with 2nd child thankfuly), but there is no way formula is ‘easier’.
And even if bfing is hard doesn’t mean the mother, of any age, won’t be able to get happily through it.

Hey, Nursie-poo, pregnancy and childbirth hurt, so maybe we should just avoid getting pregnant…

…wait, that would put YOU out of a job…

…maybe you should just keep your opinions to yourself and support whatever educated medical decisions your patient makes, huh? K, thanks!

How awful! What a load of garbage. Nurse, YOU are what make it difficult to breastfeed. People like you who are derisive, misinformed, and get a kick out of making people feel bad. (That’s assuming you haven’t been bought by the formula companies. Seriously, you should look at the perks that formula companies offer nurses on maternity floors. See: http://breastfeeding.blog.motherwear.com/2007/04/is_your_nurse_g.html)

Breastfeeding CAN be rough, or for a few, even impossible. Or it can be great, a walk in the park from the get go (my own experience, for instance). Or it can be–just like most things worth doing–a challenge, something you have to learn, practice, work at. But I’m convinced that almost everybody who wants to can breastfeed, at least to some extent, given the help and support and encouragement and CORRECT INFORMATION they deserve.

Shame on you, Nurse.

Man.. I’m glad not all nurses are like her.

Really, what’s wrong with just saying “Okay, I’ll get the Lactation consultant” instead of a rude comment. If Mom wants to breastfeed that’s an awesome thing. Especially at such a young age being conscious that its cheaper, very healthy and it also benefits Mom. Nothing wrong with that nurse, that should be praised. Formula is by no means evil or wrong, its just that no woman’s reasonable choice should be discouraged.

Ha! I was 17 yrs old when I had my son and I breastfed him and it was the best thing ever! also how many 18 yr olds have the $ for formula?? This nurse is a moron and not thinking..Besides there is NO substitiute for breastmilk….its healthy for mom and baby

My husband’s then 14 year old cousin had a baby 17 months ago, and she breastfed for a year. I was extremely impressed with her choice and determination to do that.

I’m sure most of you have heard this from me before, but this kind of comment irks me to no end. I was 16 when my husband and I decided to have a baby, 17 when I delivered, and now our daughter is 26 months old and still happily nursing. We have enjoyed every minute of it and never had any problems (thank goodness!).
I was told by my original OB that I would never nurse because I was 16, and have since written her a nice long letter explaining how wrong she was about that (and many other things. ha).

Breastfeeding mothers, regardless of age, deserve and need all the encouragement possible from any health care provider. Unfortunately our society does not provide that encouragement, so at least the HCPs should. Young mothers especially need encouragement, because the kind of attitude this nurse has is very common in the general public.

I can’t even think straight I’m so upset by this comment.

I’m very happy that I was able to breastfeed for 10 months, but I’m active-duty Navy, and stand a 12-hour watch, both days and nights. The stress of working for 12 hours, only getting to pump sporatically, getting only a few hours of sleep interrupted by being woken up to nurse every 3-4 hours was just too much for my body. When it got to the point that I was only pumping 4 ounces a day, even with herbs and everything else I could think of I really felt like my body wasn’t giving me a choice anymore.Formula is definitely inferior to breast milk; HOWEVER, for those for whom it is absolutely necessary, I’m still grateful for formulas that are superior to those even a decade ago. I do believe that unless there are medical indications, babies benefit when mothers at least attempt to feed them natural milk, but part of responsible parenting is about keeping all options open, being informed, and doing what is best for YOUR baby, YOUR body and YOUR family.

I really like how you worded that. It is really about being informed and making the best possible decision. I’m going to have to remember that so I can say it should someone give me crap about my parenting for any reason even if its not how I feed my kid!

Oh, nurse? Thank you for the implied admission that YOU were a failure, I’m happy to agree with you if you want to go that route, although it’s more accurate to say the system probably failed you when you needed support… just like you’re failing me now. How lovely, a self-perpetuating cycle.

I personally choose to ignore your bad advice and succeed at feeding my baby with my own milk. It’s what my boobs were put there for in the first place. They certainly weren’t put there for filling out lingerie – babies have been around since the dawn of time, whereas Victoria’s Secret has only existed for a few decades.

Take the formula sample you’re handing me and use it as coffee creamer or something. Sure, it tastes yucky, but if you won’t drink it, why would you force it on a baby?

When the nurse brought in my oldest for the first time, I started to take my arm out of my nightgown and the nurse asked “what I was doing”. Well, that’s a dumb question, I thought. “Well, to nurse my baby, of course.” They had me down as bottle feeding, without even asking me! Now, this was the early 60s, when breast feeding was not as common as it is now. She glanced at the chart, and then said “Oh, you’re Dr. Kelly’s patient. Most of his ladies breastfeed.” Never had any problem.

Oh funny story. When I delivered my second child, I could hear that the woman in the next room was in some sort of distress. I hopped out of bed, and poked my head in the door. The young mother was in tears, running an icy cold bottle under the spigot to warm it up some; her son – obviously – refused it. I closed the door, held out my arms, and took her baby. I nursed both her child and mine for several days (this was back when you could stay in the hospital for for five days instead of being shoved out the door) until the nurses caught me at it and raised cain. Turned out she lived not far from me, and we stayed friends for a long time.

Unfortunately I had a similar experience.

I was 16 when I gave birth, and going into deeper detail, was raped and decided to keep my son(I had no choice to abort as I found out at 27 weeks..)

In fact, I can remember what the matron on the postnatal ward said to me when I asked for help with breastfeeding my son(for the second time, I was having problems getting him latched on). “Well, all you teenage, single mothers are useless, I’ll go get some formula milk now, so you don’t have to bother with doing it, it’s the easiest way out for the lazy ones.”
This is after I asked for help
She also barked at me “where’s your partner?” and when I explained I didn’t have one, she laughed and said “that’s a surprise”
Ended up with a lot of tears, a lot of stress and me ending up never getting the help I needed, I stopped breast feeding after 10 days, and I’m pretty sure it was half the cause of my terrible PND.

I can still remember the way she threw the bottle at me too. I put in a complaint to the hospital and never got anything from it.

Many midwives are so judgemental about young mothers, it’s ridiculous, and I felt such a failure.

I just had to share my experience, some midwives are just nasty and horrible.