*sigh* A “good patient” is someone who makes no noise, of course. If they make noise and need nursing, they are Bad Patients and must be shamed.

Would love to know from the OP how long after this charming comment was made that she birthed. Am guessing not very long. Again, a woman is told her body doesn’t know what it is doing and medical people know it all. Grrrrrr.

I want to hear from the OP as well. I would nearly bet money she was being continually monitored so was flat on her back with a drip in her arm.
You poor mumma.
I wonder how the nurse would have handled the pain of a foot shoved down her throat, you know, a knee jerk response to moronic comments like that.

Over the weekend our group of midwives, certified doulas, and student doulas were having our regular bimonthly meeting and we discussed how a woman can be working hard and having monster contractions but her cervix isn’t changing (or changing very slowly, like 1 cm every 6 hours). This is usually caused by either scar tissue on the cervix or, more commonly, the baby isn’t positioned correctly. A lot of people, including new medical professionals, don’t realize that just a fraction of an inch in how the baby’s head is tipped can be the difference in stalling and major progress. This is why it’s so important to be moving. (We were actually going over various techniques to getting babies positioned well, including how to use rebozo.) One client was stuck at 3 for 12 hours or so and after doing the rebozo technique, she had her baby in her arms a couple hours later.

So it’s not that this woman couldn’t handle pain well, it’s more likely that the baby wasn’t positioned correctly for those monster contractions to open her cervix. Such negative comments from anyone during labor are completely unacceptable. Someone really should invent a filter for comments made to a pregnant/new mom. Some people really think such negative comments and stories (“Oh, you’re so huge! You must be having triplets.” “You have such a cute baby belly. Let me tell you my awful birth story!”) are really helpful. Others know how inappropriate they’re being but don’t care.

OP, no matter how your birth turned out, I’m positive that you can handle pain just fine and that this was probably a positioning issue. Seeing a chiropractor throughout pregnancy (and during labor if at all possible), having birth professionals that understand the importance of movement and how to get the baby into a good position, and being active will help greatly. There are nurses and doctors out there who fully support natural birth and will help as much as possible to get your baby in a good position. (If doing a hospital birth, call before going in, let them know you are hoping for a natural birth and ask if they can pair you with a nurse who supports natural birth. Most hospitals have at least one but usually more nurses who love having natural patients.) Best of luck to you in the future!

Actually Nurse, it sounds like you don’t interpret signs very well. Laying in the dead cockroach position really isn’t helpful for contractions. In fact, laying flat on your back is one of the more painful ways to settle in and deal with a contraction.

Instead of commenting on her pain threshold (which she was probably doing fine btw.. some people are more vocal/active than others) why don’t you suggest differen’t positions. Laying on her side perhaps… Sitting up so someone can do counter pressure.. squatting? Or.. *gasp* WALKING!!

OP- I’m sure you did fine. It sounds like you didn’t have good support!

Everyone assuming: you’d be shocked. NOT the OP, but I went into transition at a “2-3″ with my second birth. While most people would classify it as “transition-like symptoms”, I call it what it was. I was in transition for 8 hours. It started at home, in my tub, where I was relaxing after 9 hours of contractions.

After 8 hours of it (when I was at a 4), I finally got the help I needed and I finally progressed. My total labor was 23 1/2 hours long.

I wasn’t on my back, wasn’t in the hospital, it wasn’t short (despite everything promising that it would be :’( I was really hoping to have a better birth the second time) and it WAS transition. The only transition I had anyway. I went the rest of the way to a 10 and pushed my baby out easily (actually, a contraction did it).

My nurses were sympathetic, but they may have been afraid not to be, lol. I was in transition-brain, too.

OP–I am so sorry that the nurse was such a jerk.

She could also be one of those (like myself) who just dilates all at once at the end. I hit transition at a 3 with my son – had him just over an hour later. May have been less dilated than that when I hit transition with my daughter. And birthed her about 45 minutes later. I’d like to hear the rest of the story.

I was told I was at 2cm and I felt like I was dying…I thought that I was just a big wimp at the time! I was starting to cry and wonder how on earth I was going to make it, but started feeling like I needed to push just 10 minutes later. They checked me and sure enough, I was at 10. Lemme tell ya, going from 2 to 10 in 10 minutes HURTS!

Meh. I had transition-like symptoms early in my labor with my first son too when I must have been maybe 2-3cm dilated. That was my 29 hour long blissful back labor birth. I vomited, etc. at around that point. That was at around noon. I went to the hospital later that day and was admitted at around 6PM where I was 7cm dilated and no longer had “transition symptoms”. Sometimes things hit us at different points. Anyone who does not understand that every person is different.. Should not be working with people.

“And that is when I wound up and kicked the dumb nurse as hard as I could your honor”

Seriously, anyone not in that position at that given time should shut their mouth. You have NO IDEA what I am feeling. And as long as it’s MY BODY and NOT YOURS, shut up and just try to be supportive to me or get out !!

My L&D nurse said something similar to me when I was in labour. She did NOT get a crave cupcake when I was discharged.